A new chapter

The last thing I'm thinking about is dating! Since my husband died four years ago i haven't even started talking to a man much less think about long term relationships. Yes, i know im only 51 & yes i agree surviving life here on Earth would be easier with a partner, but I am not sure I'm ready. The old saying goes " you will never be ready so why not the present" Take a leap of faith I've been told, the future starts now they said. My friends really do love me and only want to see me happy. I understand that and I am so grateful to have such a good support system in my life. I keep telling them we'll see but i guess now i have no other choice since Stacy already agreed for me to meet a co worker of hers for appetizers & wine on Friday at the new hot spot downtown.

Stacy has been my best friend for over 20 years now ,and she knows me better than my own family does. I trust her judgement so i reluctantly agreed to meet her friend, Sean. God i dont even know what to wear or im not even sure i remeber how to make small talk. The last real date i went on was in 1987! LOL im positive things are much different now. My daughter Rene is a beautiful 29 yr old who loves to give me advice on everything including my wardrobe, make up,and hair, so i will be asking her for help. Im sure she will have me looking not only presentable but also like im actually apart of this century! Since my date is Friday she agreed to take the afternoon off of her job to help me prepare

I got married when i was 18 and my husband was 24. He was definitely my soulmate and the love of my life. I met him at my first job as a waitress in a little family diner where he was a cook. I was 16 & fell in love fast and hard. We had our daughter in 1991 & our son in 1994. We had a good life with our little family. We bought a house in a little city 20 minutes outside of Detroit. We were both hard workers who just tried to make a good life for our kids. Like all couples we had our ups and downs, family fights, and financial issues but my husband loved me from his guts and would litteraly do anything for me. I was absolutely spoiled, which i said was being well taken care of. In 1997 i was diagnosed with cervical cancer, and i had to have a total hysterectomy at 27 yrs old. My husband made sure i had everything i needed and or wanted, he even actually wiped my butt when i was too sick to move. Its going to be very hard to match that kind of unconditional love. In November 2016 he had a brain aneurysem burst while he as at work. He had surgery and was in a coma until the beginning of January 2017. He came out of the coma and he knew us and could communicate a little. I finally had hope he would recover. He was transferred to a rehab facility in a nursing home where he was to receive all kinds of therapy. I never left his side. He was bedbound and had to wear an adult diaper that i knew he would have hated. I didn't really like the place he was at but just like other things in life, money dictates the care you receive. We were not financially stable enough to take him to the best places for the best care, so we had no other choice. On Wednesday February 22 we watched Mash on tv and i gave him a sponge bath before i left for the night. I kissed him and told him i would see him tomorrow. At 6:18 am the love of my life died, alone and in a unfamiliar place. Needless to say i was devastated and had no idea how i was going to keep on living. Of course due to my faith, my children, many glasses of merlot and my support system i not only made it, but i learned how to be independent.

Fast forward 4 years 2 months and here we are on a Friday afternoon trying to look pretty, feel confident and be ready for the next chapter in my life, dating. Stacy told me what she knew about Sean and i felt like we might actually have a good time. Usually when i go out to bars with my friends they never have my favorite wine, Duckhorn Vineyards Merlot from Napa Valley so i used to bring my own bottle but for tonight ill see what the new hotspot downtown is offering. This place has received rave reviews ,so I'm pretty excited. I usually drive myself, but out of caution tonight ill take an Uber downtown.

Downtown Detroit has a lot to offer, and is definitely an up and coming city. I like to see the old buildings, and all the new attractions that draw this new generation. When my Uber pulled up in front of the bar i was very impressed, and so nervous i thought i would throw up. As i stepped out of the car i had a fleeting thought to just go back home but then remembered something my husband always said, " You will never know unless you try so try first then decide"

Sean and i had been texting so i knew right where to go once i got inside. There he was sitting by the window, and Stacy was right on point in her description of him. As i sat down i realized that this new chapter of my life might not be so bad after all. The waitress came over and took our order for appetizers and drinks. I ordered the house Merlot and Sean ordered a beer then we had a smorgasbord of apps. the reviews were correct, everything was great. We talked for over 2 hours when Sean said he was still hungry and sked if i would share another appetizer with him. I said yes of course so he walked up to the bar to order, he came back with another glass of wine for me. A few minutes later the waitress brought over an order of calamari. I have never eaten that so i was very apprehensive when all of a sudden Sean said "hey you will never know unless you try, so try first then decide" I almost fell out of my chair!! At that moment i knew that this was the beginning of something special.