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A Modern Love Story Pt. 4 The Final Chapter...?

A true story about my life

By RJ ScottPublished 5 years ago 21 min read
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Please read parts 1, 2, & 3 before continuing:

November 19:

Gamer's Rhapsody. I had been waiting for this for almost a year. I knew Vincent and a lot of his friends would be there. I would be able to spend some time with him while they were around, and compare it to when he and I were alone.

I saw him pretty early that morning, but he was too busy to even talk for more than a minute. I just told him I would see him later, and he went off to get ready for the day. I played some games, made some friends, and even won the talent show! (The reward for which was $60, a t-shirt, and lifelong tickets to future GRs). I won by performing the song that I had written about Vincent and I. I had no idea that he would've kick started my songwriting. I wrote more songs about him, each filled with sadness or anger in the future. Later in the day, Vincent was up to play with his group. I wished him luck, and kinda pulled him aside in the stairwell. He hugged me tightly and whispered, “I’m sorry I’m so busy. I wish I could spend more time with you today.”

I told him not to worry, and that I knew he was going to be busy. He kissed my forehead and went upstairs to get ready to play. His group sounded great, and I felt so lucky to know them. After the show, my dad (who was with me at the convention) went out to go get food, but I wasn’t hungry so I stayed back. I met Vincent by the stage after they were done playing, and he came down to see me and a few of his other friends. I met a few of his friends and they all seemed really nice.

After we were done talking, he asked me to come backstage with him. It was quite dark, so I held his hand and he led me around. We bumped into another one of his friends backstage, and I introduced myself. Vincent said he needed to run upstairs and drop off his viola in his hotel room, and I asked if I could just tag along. He said of course so I followed him.

We got to the room and as soon as the door closed and he put down his instrument, we were hugging closely and tightly.

He whispered, “I love you, Jane.”

And I whispered back “I love you, Vincent.”

Our lips lightly met, and we ended up laying down on the bed and holding each other close. We relaxed and let ourselves just breathe for a while, together. We knew we would have to go back downstairs soon. We took the moments we had and held them dear. After not too long, we stood up, straightened up a bit, and started walking towards the door, but we didn’t quite make it there. Our lips met again and again and again and right as we were going to leave, the door began to open. I felt a shot of fear through my body so I pushed him away, and hid behind the bathroom door. It was Austin. He and Vincent were sharing the room. I had met him downstairs and I knew his voice well from their YouTube channel. I wondered to myself, “why am I hiding? I want people to know that we are together. I want him to know about me as more than just some ‘friend.’” I stepped out from behind the door as Austin was leaving and he just said “Oh hey” and rushed back out. Vincent's face was not what I was expecting. He looked shocked. Maybe even angry.

“That was crazy”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, it was just so surreal.”

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine I just wasn’t expecting you to do that.”

“Well I don’t really wanna be a secret.”

“I know Jane. Let’s go back downstairs.”

We went downstairs and watched Austin’s band perform. They were amazing of course! We talked with them for a while, and then everyone kind of went their own ways. My dad wanted to stay and play more Tetris, so I asked Vincent if we could go back upstairs for a few minutes. He was very pleased with that idea, so we rushed to the elevators. We got upstairs and held each other again, and while we were cuddling on his bed, he heard voices down the hall.

“That’s Austin. Could you please hide?”

“Um, no. I’m staying right here. I’m not going to be a dirty little secret.”

He stood up quickly and rushed to the door, opening it a bit too fast and clearly trying to stall them or keep them from coming in the room. It wasn’t just Austin, it was the whole band. I felt a bit bad, but I also knew that I would still be a secret if I didn’t do anything. I walked out of the room and stood next to Vincent. One of his other friends kind of gave us the once over and looked pretty confused. We all rode down in the same elevator, and Vincent looked like he was holding in a scream. Austin gave us a few weird looks. They all got off at the fourth floor, and just Vincent and I were left there. He wouldn’t even look at me. I tried holding his hand and breaking his gaze from the elevator doors, but he wouldn’t budge. As soon as the doors opened, he started walking with driven purpose, and because he’s so much taller than me I had to almost jog to keep up with him.

“Hey, hey. Slow down. Talk to me.”

He stopped walking and turned to me, but still wouldn’t really look at me.

“Are you ok? What’s wrong?”

“I’m ok. It’s fine.”

I grabbed his face and told him to look into my eyes. I knew he wasn’t alright.

“Jane, I’m ok. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I guess they know now.”

“They don’t really know anything. It’s not like they caught us making out in front of them or anything. I’m sure they won’t assume anything. They know you.”

“It’s really ok. It feels kinda good, having people know.”

He took me into his arms, and kissed my head lightly before holding my hand and walking me back to where my dad still sat playing Tetris. I walked up to him and told him I was ready to go home. He went outside to pull up the car and Vincent sheepishly stood next to me inside. I didn’t really want to have him near anymore, but I knew I would see him again the next day.

November 20th:

I woke up early. I drove back down to where the convention was held in the cold early morning. I sat and waited. I hear nothing from Vincent until I’ve been waiting and sitting for almost two hours. He rushes down the stairs, and almost runs right past me before meeting my gaze and stopping in his tracks. He looks to be carrying quite a lot, so I ask if he needs any help.

“Yeah, could you grab this bench? I need it for my keyboard, but it’s kinda killing my hand at the moment.”

I pick it up swiftly off the ground, and hold it easily with one hand. I follow him outside and to his small, old car. He shoves most everything from his arms into his trunk and back seat, and I hand him his last item before he closes the trunk.

“I have to get to this rehearsal. I’m gonna be late because I accidentally slept in. I’ll see you at my house around three, alright?”

He kisses my cheek and before I can even hug him, he’s in his car driving to his rehearsal. I walk back inside and sit in the same spot I had been sitting for the hours prior, and decide to watch some YouTube to pass the time. Before I know it, I’m receiving a call from him.

“Hey, I’m done now. I know it’s a little earlier than the time I said, but do you wanna come over now? I think we’ll get there at around the same time.”

“Sure, I’ll head over now.”

I drive my car (probably a little too fast) and make it to his house. I knock on the door, and he is still wearing concert black (I knew it was for some band concert or rehearsal). I hug him lightly and we make our way to his room. He says it’s messy, but it looks just fine to me! We lay down and talk for a few minutes and I decide to give him an ultimatum.

“Either we stay friends and we never kiss or do things that friends wouldn’t do ever again, or we can be in a relationship, but it has to be at least a little public. I won’t ask you to put it on Facebook or anything, just a few close friends and your parents. I can’t keep doing this in between thing anymore.”

“I know. This is just a really hard decision for me. I feel like people won’t take us seriously and that makes me mad, but I love you and want to be with you, I just don’t think I have the time."

“I already told you, I won’t take up much of your time! If you just text me or call once a week, and then meet me for lunch, or even a few minutes once a month, I’ll be perfectly happy.”

“You don’t seem to understand though. If I’m with you, I’ll want to stay with you and dedicate a lot more time and energy than just once a week and once a month. I want you to be my focus, but I can’t do that right now.”

“Will you still think about it? I don’t want an answer till December. Then you can gauge how much you can take on with school being done for a while.”

“Yes I’ll talk to you then. Oh no, Austin just texted. I have to go, we’re recording today. I’m sorry, but we will just have to cut this meeting a bit short.”

“But I thought recording wasn’t until six? It’s only four!”

“Well my parents will be home sooner rather than later, and I still need to pick up a few things from the hotel from GR. He’s calling me.”

He picks up his phone and my heart sinks a bit. I know he has to go, but he was being pretty rude about it all.

He rushes to his car, still on his phone, and I follow slowly behind him. He sits in the front seat with his door open, and I stand by the side of his car. He grabs my hand, and holds it how he always does. Lightly but just enough to make sure I know he’s there.

He lets go of my hand and shoots me a look that says “I really gotta go now.”

I step back from his car and wave slowly. He didn’t even say goodbye before he is driving quickly down the street away from me. I didn’t know what went wrong. He used to try to spend every single possible minute that we had together, but now he always seemed to have to rush off somewhere without really saying goodbye. I really didn’t know what had changed between us.

December 10th:

I haven’t heard from him since that day. He sped away so quickly, and I guess he forgot I meant anything to him. Then I remembered, the concert. My parents had bought our family tickets to see Harry Potter played live by an orchestra at the convention center. That was right across the street from orchestra hall, and I thought I might be able to sneak away and see him for a minute. On the way there, my sister went online and told me that orchestra hall was closed, and that he might actually be working at the convention center tonight since that was the only place around with a large event this evening. I was afraid. It seemed like years since I had seen him last.

We parked the car and began walking inside. I saw a friend of his, Bryan, whom I had met at GR.

I asked him if Vincent was around and he said, “Yeah he’s here somewhere. I couldn’t tell you exactly where though.”

I thanked him and took a quick loop around to see if I could find him. No luck. I decided to give up and join my family in the auditorium, the show would be starting soon anyways. I walk in and there he was. Helping an old woman find her seat. I walked up slowly and my heart raced. He met my gaze and his face made it seem like he didn’t know me or that he was ashamed of me.

“Oh, hey. I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Yeah, my parents got my sister and I tickets for our birthdays. Mine was on the first, remember?”

He nodded once and asked to see my ticket. I passed it to him and he motioned to the aisle.

“Right this way, young lady.”

I found my seat and stayed in it. It was clear he didn’t want to talk to me.

The show moved along quickly, and at intermission I decided to stretch my legs. I passed him and he kind of waved. I decided to walk over, build up my courage, and say something I would most likely regret.

He asked, “Hey, how’re you liking the show so far?”

“It’s great! Um… Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Could you… not ignore me as soon as the semester is over? You don’t have to talk to me all the time, but just, don’t ignore me.”

“I won’t. I’m sorry, I’ve been so busy.”

“People make time for the things and the people they care about, Vincent.”

“I know. Can we talk about this later, when I’m not at work?”

“Of course, but then you actually have to talk to me.”

My dad came by and tugged on my arm, most likely not appreciating that I was talking to the staff.

We left and I gave a small wave on my way out.

Late December:

I heard nothing. I asked him to message and I heard nothing. I tried to talk with him. Nothing.

Early January, 2017:

I was still star struck. One morning at breakfast, I had decided to talk about him to a family friend. I didn’t think anything of it, but then I wanted to show him a picture. I found one. The very first picture on his page was him and a girl named Emily. I broke down. I cried. I wanted to throw my phone across the room, but I cried quietly for only a few minutes. I collected myself, apologized, and changed to a happier topic. In my head, I was reeling. I felt like I had just been kicked by a horse with no way to get back up. My heart felt physically broken. I was sad and angry. I sent angry and sad messages to him, and even contacted her asking her to be careful and to be wary of how he acts. She messaged me back a “thank you,” he still said nothing.

March 26, 2017:

I wrote a letter. Not an angry letter, not a sad letter, but a reminiscent letter. I reminded him of the time we would spend laughing and talking before any thought of a relationship or a kiss crossed our minds. I reminded him that we could still be friends, and that my romantic feelings for him were gone, and all I was asking for was closure. I only needed closure, I didn’t need or want him anymore. I knew he wouldn’t respond. I wasn’t hoping for anything, because he had been so silent for months. I wrote it and sent it a year after we met. I hoped it would spark a memory.

April 6, 2017:

Robotics season yet again. My last year as a captain, and my last year at the high school. I knew that we would do well at this competition. We had worked so hard. While fixing a pesky wheel situation, I felt my phone buzz. It wasn’t a single buzz. It felt like a solid buzz for more than a few seconds. I thought I was getting a phone call, so I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I saw seven texts from him, and I almost dropped it. I decided that this was not as important as finishing the robot, so I put it back in my pocket and continued working.

After about an hour, I had some free time so I took out my phone and began reading.

“Jane, Don't blame yourself for my action (and inaction). I fell for you, hard, and probably too hard. I was still reeling from my last relationship and I didn't realize it at the time. I needed so much more time to recover and learn to love myself again, in the absence of a relationship. Instead I was lonely and depressed, and in that I found you, and you brought me joy again. But I fell for you too quickly, when I wasn't ready to be vulnerable again yet, when I needed to find myself again in the ashes of what I was years before. Don't blame yourself for my hesitation. I am really, truly sorry for how I treated you. I got stuck in this loop of realizing I wasn't ready to date, feeling incredibly lonely and sad, and struggling with how I would explain that I was with a high-schooler, to my parents, to my friends, to my coworkers, to my roommates. It was a trio of things that I let ruin our friendship.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I took out my notes and wrote down a lot of different things and picked the ones I thought would best fit the situation. I was just very surprised that he said anything at all.

“Vincent, the only thing I want is for you to trust me with your feelings and know that I won't retaliate or feel bad or whatever else you're afraid of. What I wanted for a long time was just someone to talk to, someone to swap stories with or spend time with, I didn't intend to fall so hard either, but I think I've learned from it. I think we both have, and having learned from it, do you think we could move past this back and forth, and just be friends? If you don't (for fear of being sucked back into the cycle or other reasons) just tell me that. Speak your mind, because for the longest time, I thought you had just wanted the same thing every guy wants, but deep down I knew you were different, and wouldn't do that to me, because you loved me. Not hearing from you for so long and seeing a picture of you with another girl once sent me into a jealous rage and my heart broke. I'm sorry that I let that happen, we weren't official in any sense of the word, and I didn't have any reason to be so jealous. I was in a loop too. A loop of believing I was in love and that someone loved me, a loop of denial and feeling I was stupid for falling, and then a repeat whenever you'd get in contact again. I felt like a puppy waiting for its master, but I'm not a puppy. I learned a lot and grew a lot, but still want you in my life in any way you see fit. You can think as long as you want, but please share your feelings with me. You can call me or we can get lunch or something. We just need to talk things out.”

I felt confident again, and I reminded myself that I really didn’t need him in my life to do great things. I was building robots and being a boss through high school AND college without him, and, at that moment, it hit me. I don’t need someone who is going to manipulate me and torment my heart just to have a few short moments of happiness. If I’m going to find “the one,” he has to make me feel amazing all the time, not just when he “has the time.” I have needs just like anyone else, and I need to be supported. He couldn’t care less about all the amazing things I was doing! That day and all of them to this day, I have taken back my confidence and my love, and put so much of it towards my work, my writing, my friends, my family, and everyone, and everything else in my life that really, truly deserves it.

June 22, 2017:

Well, here I sit. I am 18 years old, I work for a prominent medical devices company as a mechanical engineering intern, I have a boyfriend who makes me feel amazing in every way possible, I will be going to college in just a couple months, and I feel truly happy and fulfilled. I have learned so much from this whole experience, and will it stay with me forever? Yes. Will I feel a little sad when thinking about him sometimes? Maybe. I called this a “Modern Love Story,” because not all love stays forever. You can find new and even better love if you only take a moment to look for it.

February 16, 2018:

I’ve been a mechanical engineering student for a few months now and life is going well. I get along with my roommate, my boyfriend and I are planning a trip to Disney World in a few months for our one year anniversary, I have another internship this summer and may get one with a different company in less than a year (I’m hoping for Disney, that’s where I dream of working), and even hearing his name or thinking of the time we spent together doesn’t provoke any emotion. This is the end of an era, and the beginning of a new one. I’m an accomplished song and story writer, student, lover, and friend. I am content, and waiting for my next adventure. In just a few short weeks, I am going to the 2018 Gamer's Rhapsody convention with my boyfriend. He knows my past about Vincent, but my boyfriend loves me no matter his anxious tendencies towards him. I have to admit that for a long time I was afraid to see him again, but I know now that I will never be afraid of the past anymore.

September 3, 2019:

As a final jump in this long story, I'll update and end it here. My previous relationship ended, during which I received a 1000+ word apology from Vincent, which I responded to, despite my ex's constant anger and anxiety about the situation. I found another man, Jon, who gives me the same feelings I had once felt for Vincent all that time ago.

After having cut Vincent from my life while with my ex, I decided it was time to do what I wanted all along. I wanted to be his friend. I messaged him one last time, and he responded positively. I asked if he and I could talk on the phone some time, and he actually made the time. I saw positive changes in him from when we had talked last, and I knew the reasoning for his pain and relationship difficulty was coming to a close.

I have a year long internship in California and while talking to Vincent, he told me that he is attending an academy with the military in California. An hour south of where I'll be living is where he will be. He invited me to one of the celebrations on the base, which made me feel happy and sad, and a slurry of other emotions. I'll see him again and hopefully, our friendship will continue to sprout. So friends, if you've made it this far, thank you. I hope this twisting and turning story brought you some of the frustrations, sadness, and love that I felt all those years ago.

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About the Creator

RJ Scott

Mechanical engineer who loves to write music, short stories, and stories from their past

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