A Fiery First

My first impression lacks positive impact.

My dad told me that this past winter. I stared at him as he talked, but he didn’t have to explain. I knew what he wanted to say. You see after fifty years, I have gained a lot of weight, and the arthritis in my knees causes me to limp. Even though I knew that all of these ideas floated around his head, I made him say it anyway. So, he did. “Well, you don’t make a good first impression. You are overweight, you limp, and you are out of breath when you walk.”

All true.

I still need to find a job, though. So, I fill out applications, do phone and Zoom interviews and yesterday even had my first face to face interview in a long time. Of course, the first impressions conversation has remained in my head, and while getting ready for an interview all that I can think about.

Of course, on the date of my latest interview, we had our first really warm day of the season – 90°. Due to the afore mentioned weight problem, I do not do heat well. My interview was scheduled for 2:30. We went for a boat ride in the early morning; I had put on my sunscreen and wore a hat. I didn’t feel fried until I took a shower. The hot water was a bit uncomfortable on my skin, so I switched to cold.

I used my facial cleanser. In retrospect, this was step number one in creating the first impression from hell. Because of the sun exposure, my facial wipes burned a little bit while I used them. Not too much, but enough to heat up my skin. I sat in front of my fan to cool off. I stayed there while getting dressed and putting on my shoes. I started to fix my hair; at this point, my bangs were standing straight up from the fan. I rewet them, restyled and added a bit of hairspray.

I felt good…until I got to my car. I opened the door to an inferno. It was so hot in there that all of the hard work that I had done to cool down vanished. I immediately started to sweat. I opened all of the windows and turned up the air conditioning to high. I check my rearview mirror; I’m not sure how to describe the red of my face other than firey red. You could see the flames coming off of my cheeks.

I drove leaning toward the air conditioning vent so the air would blow in my face and calm the redness. When I arrived at the interview, I checked the mirror to see if the redness had faded. It hadn’t, but my bangs were now standing straight up because of the air conditioning blowing on high. Since I had put hairspray on them at home, there was no calming them down to regular size.

Luckily, I had a hair clip in my bag. I did the best that I could to twist my bangs into an acceptable clump and pin it to the top of my head. It didn’t look great, but it was more controlled.

I walked into the store and toward the signs for the main office. I assume there was air conditioning on in the building as the ladies at the counter looked quite comfortable. I was not. It still was not cool enough to calm my burning body. I could feel the sweat pooling everywhere that I had space for a pool. It slowly rolled down my forehead and into my eyes. This led to a stinging issue, which forced me to rub my eyes to get that sharp sting to relax. Now my eyes were swollen and red.

As I waited for the interviewer, I took stock of my situation. I had a bright red face, sweat pouring out of every possible orifice, swollen bloodshot eyes and hair that was clearly tamed at the last minute.

Finally, the young man in charge of my interview came out of the office to introduce himself. As I stood to greet him, I felt a large drop of sweat roll down my face and watched it plop right onto his outstretched hand.