8 Probably Insignificant Things You Do That Say A Lot About You
Use behavioral mindfulness to improve your life.
Let me begin with a tale about guacamole.
I'll show you how to do it. After studying someone for five seconds, I was able to glean a number of life lessons from a brief encounter at Chipotle.
I'm in line, and the person in front of me is placing his order.
He informs the employee what toppings he wants on his pizza. As the employee is ready to put his bowl in the box, he asks, "Can I have some guac on that?"
The employee is deafeningly deafeningly deafeningly dea He has an expression on his face as if he wants to say something, but he doesn't.
He's with his girlfriend, who gives him a sidelong glance as if to suggest “Dude, you’re not going to speak up and get your guac?”
By the time they get to the cash register, the girlfriend has decided she wants a side of guacamole.
This brings me to the first point I'd want to make.
How Do You Handle Social Pressure?
It's interesting to watch how individuals react in circumstances where there is some amount of tension. Some people are capable of facing and dealing with it. Others give up.
What other troubles is he having in his life as a result of his unwillingness to speak out if he couldn't find the guts to ask for guacamole?
I can imagine all the possibilities he's passed up, things he wishes he'd said or done differently.
He's lost everything because he can't handle a little dispute.You weren't there if it seemed like I was exaggerating. His shy temperament was seen in his eyes, and it was written all over his physique.
There are several instances where doing or saying one small thing may make a huge difference. Do you have the courage to confront your supervisor when they make a mistake? Can you spot someone who is being obnoxious?
Is it possible for you to speak up and receive what you want? Mouths that are shut are not nourished.
Whether or Not You Keep Your Word
If you say you’re going to do something, do it. Make a rule for yourself that once you speak certain words, they’re set in stone. Don’t break promises to yourself or other people, ever, no matter how small.
Each time you say you’re going to do something and you don’t do it, you send a little signal to your brain saying you’re the type of person who doesn’t follow through. The same goes for the commitments you promise to others.
Small broken promises can have big consequences, even as something as small as saying you’re going to work out that day and you skip. Tiny broken promises chip away at your character and self-confidence.
Better to have some humility and be honest about what you’re willing to follow through with than continue to spout hot air with no results.
You Use a Lot of Small Phrases
Keeping with the concept of the words you employ, you'll want to avoid saying things like:
- Describe how you're feeling.
- Describe your personality.
- Make a statement about the quality of your life.
This is my issue with little memes like 'adulting is so difficult.' Even if you're kidding, you're implying that you're incapable of managing your own life as an adult.
'I'm constantly tired,' 'Wait till you're my age,' 'My work stinks,' and so on are some of the other statements that spring to mind.
Make sure you don't make any self-deprecating remarks about yourself. People often use this as a form of comedy, but it's really simply a coping method.To avoid facing the risk of rejection, they knock themselves down a few pegs.
“The power of life and death is in the tongue.” — Robert Pitts
When You Break Eye Contact, How Quickly Do You Do It?
If you wish to improve your social confidence, consider the following advice. When you're chatting to someone, try to be the last one to break eye contact. Not in a spooky or strange sense, but in a welcoming and friendly way.
When you lock eyes with someone who lacks social confidence, their eyes rapidly dart down. It might be as simple as a glance down, and they'll immediately catch your gaze. However, that small microexpression conveys a great deal.
Mike Tyson used to look his opponents in the eyes. He knew the fight was gone before it even started if they glanced down for even a fraction of a second.
You’re not trying to knock people out, but this eye contact ‘tell’ applies to many situations:
- Job interviews
- Asking someone on a date
- All social situations when you’re communicating with others
The Tone in Which You Speak
I used to be a member of a Toastmasters organization.
It's an excellent location to practice if you're having trouble with your social skills and are terrified of public speaking.
Anyway, I once delivered a talk on how to be more self-assured. I screamed a statement as loudly as humanly could during it. Loud enough to surprise the other club members. At the corporate headquarters where we had meetings, it was loud enough to be heard in adjacent rooms.
Loud enough to be ridiculous and humiliating. I created it to demonstrate a point regarding vocal intonation and confidence. The way you project and use your voice reveals a lot about who you are.
It demonstrates that you are not frightened to be seen and heard if you can speak out and project your voice. People frequently talk gently in order to avoid being perceived as a threat. They don't want to draw attention to themselves, therefore they'll speak gently to avoid being heard.
From projection and vocal intonation to 'up talk,' which makes you appear unsure of yourself while speaking to others, the way you speak reveals a lot about you. Don't shout for the sake of yelling. Don't be obnoxious, but make good use of your voice.
The Manner in Which You Carry Yourself
This study has been hotly contested, but it appears that this method works. Rather of looking for the perfect peer-reviewed research on it, try it out for yourself. The influence of 'power postures' is discussed in these research.
You'll feel more powerful if you stand in particular stances, such as standing razor-straight with your hands about your waists like Superman or Wonder Woman.
There may not be a precise scientific norm, but phenomenologically, there appears to be a link between your posture, how you feel about yourself, and how others perceive you.
Do you slouch or do you stand up straight? Do you gaze down or keep your head held high?
Take a look at this video of two basketball players who miss the game-winning shot:
The way you conduct yourself reveals a lot about you, from how you stand to your facial expressions and whether you like to grin or frown more.
The goal isn't to turn into a self-assured robot. It's simple to be aware that your outer appearance may and does influence how you feel about yourself.
Little Things Can Have a Big Impact
The objective isn't to keep a close eye on every small thing or to attempt to be flawless. The aim is to be aware of your surroundings.
Focus on the current moment if you wish to be more conscious. When you're present rather than anxious and preoccupied, a lot of these small ticks go.
Become a careful observer of your own actions when it comes to your entire life. Take note of how your actions influence your world and make necessary adjustments.
There aren't a lot of big and significant moments in life. The majority of your life is made up of a series of little events.
That's why it's critical to concentrate on being your best self not just every day, but every single instant.