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7 Signs Your Romantic Relationship Is the Real Deal

by Mona Lazar 2 months ago in dating
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Do you have someone who checks all the boxes?

7 Signs Your Romantic Relationship Is the Real Deal
Photo by Deedee Geli on Unsplash

1. You can be yourself

Are you a hippie girl trying for the 10th time to fit into a corporate power suit to meet your guy’s business partners? Well, stop. Unless you tried it and found out you actually liked it, don’t be someone you’re not. It’s going to make you miserable and that will rub off on your partner and the relationship.

If you can’t be you, don’t even start. Constantly trying to change yourself to fit the other’s needs and expectations will lead to frustration and feelings of inadequacy. It’s best to find out who you truly are and what makes you happy. Someone who wants the same thing will give you that. You don’t have to guilt-trip your corporate guy into dancing around a fire, someone else will do it naturally.

2. You communicate

Did she buy regular milk again and you’re vegan? And you didn’t tell her this time either? Why? Trying to spare her feelings or trying to avoid conflict? Either way, you’re making yourself and her a disservice. A real relationship doesn’t crumble under the weight of oat milk.

Communication is a two-way street. You need to say what’s on your mind and also listen to what’s on your partner’s mind. Especially when what you might be saying or hearing is less than pleasant. Having your needs heard helps you connect and helps the relationship grow.

3. You are equal partners

I’ve heard so many times women say: ‘I want a partner I can learn from’. Ladies, that’s not a partner. Someone who teaches you things is either your father or your teacher. Do you want to learn? Go to school. Do you want a daddy? Go to the therapist. Stop expecting the one you’re sleeping with to show you the way through life. You need to find that yourself.

A healthy relationship is between 2 people who are at the same emotional level. Whether you are looking to be superior or inferior in a relationship, it’s going to crash and burn. Equality is the key to healthy relationships in all areas of life and romance is no different.

4. You trust each other

Do you feel the need to go through her phone? Do you have doubts about how he invests the family money? Do you have a strange feeling in the pit of your stomach every time he comes home late? That’s no way to live. A relationship is supposed to be the place where you feel safe, where you can relax and find shelter from the troubles of the world, not a place of constant anxiety and fear.

A real deal is built on trust. And trust permeates all areas of life: from parenting to finances to fidelity and so much more. A partner you can trust doesn’t break the rules that you agreed on. They are reliable and bad surprises are never part of the game.

5. You have fun together

Piggyback rides, pillow fights, road trips, laughter: they’re all signs of a healthy relationship. Having fun with your partner is key. All you need to do is look him in the eye and start laughing. Inside jokes, doing things together, making a trip to the supermarket a reason to enjoy yourself.

It doesn’t have to be like a stand-up routine. It’s enough if you enjoy the little things, his presence, how he gets a foam mustache when he drinks his coffee, or the faces she makes when someone cuts her off in traffic. It’s a common ground to share smiles and good times.

6. You support each other

Does he want to be a freelancer one day? Does she hope to make a living from writing? You better be there for support. Heart and soul. Not in a crazy whatever-you-do-is-fine kind of way. But in a grounded stable manner that also thinks about the future and takes all options into account.

We all have hopes and dreams and we need someone besides us to tell us we can do it. To hold our hand through the tough times and pat us on the back when we fail. Or be ready with champagne in hand when we succeed.

7. You are compatible

You’re a priest, she’s a pole dancer. While you’re preparing your sermon for your faithful flock, the lost sheep is preparing her stripper shoes and skimpy outfits. Sex is dynamite, but you don’t approve of each other’s lifestyle and find it secretly stupid or even hate it altogether. How is that ever going to work?

Love can exist even when there is no compatibility, but by now we all know love is not enough to make a relationship the real deal. Having similar values and expectations from life and the relationship, in general, will bring you much closer and will ensure that the relationship can stand the test of time. Feeling relaxed and at home with each other, enjoying the time spent together, wanting the same things, that’s the real deal.

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Mona Lazar

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