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7 Mistakes to Avoid When Dating After Divorce

avoid when trying to move on and find

By Happy Life OfficialPublished 2 years ago 4 min read
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After your divorce, dating can be more complex than it seems.

Here are seven mistakes you should avoid when trying to move on and find someone new to share your life with.

Before starting to date after your divorce, take some time to go through these 7 essential steps!

1) Don't be too negative

The overwhelming majority of divorced men and women who have remarried have a positive outlook on their ex.

The average length of time since their divorce is three years, which gives both parties plenty of time to move on and grow up.

If you still hold negative feelings towards your ex after all these years, you may want to rethink dating again.

It is not healthy for either party to indulge in negativity when trying to find a new relationship and can result in further conflict if you date another person with an ex they are still close with.

Having dated several people who were still very much in love with their exes was not fun, so it's best to avoid it if possible.

2) Don't Compare Yourself

One of the biggest traps people falls into after divorce is comparing themselves and their future relationships to those before.

The problem with holding your new partner up against your ex is that it can color your perception of your current relationship. (And chances are, you're not going to find a match that even comes close.)

If you want a happy, healthy relationship, make sure you do two things: be honest about what went wrong in past relationships and be willing to acknowledge when something doesn't feel right in your current one.

Trust yourself and go with your gut; if there's any doubt about whether you should stay or go, trust that it's better for both of you if you part ways sooner rather than later.

3) Take Care of Yourself

This can be a hard one. But staying on your feet and being active is an important part of healing after divorce.

To get back in shape, you may have to forget about focusing on your appearance and concentrate on strength-building activities such as yoga, pilates, or weight training.

Many health clubs offer discounted rates for single memberships if you're willing to go during off-hours, like late at night or early in the morning when it's quiet and not very crowded.

That will help you avoid feeling self-conscious about getting into shape by yourself when it seems like everyone else has someone waiting for them when they leave class.

4) Be Selfish with your Time

Even though you have been hurt, it doesn't mean that your next partner will be abusive.

If you are interested in dating again, keep your focus on yourself. Be selfish with your time, decide what is best for you, set boundaries, and stick with them so that you won't get emotionally or physically involved too quickly.

It may take some time, but eventually, you will realize that love can last a lifetime if both parties are willing to work hard!

5) Let Go of the Past, but Not Entirely

The trick here is to move on without letting go.

Cut it out if you find yourself dwelling on your past and constantly thinking about your ex.

Letting go is easy, but not fully letting go isn't unhealthy.

Sometimes we need a little reminder of what we can do better or don't want anymore.

It's important for women who have been through a divorce and entering back into dating to remember that things will never be like they were before; so keeping those expectations in check from day one may help you avoid getting disappointed when things don't turn out how you thought they would—or even how they should have!

6) Make New Friends, but Maintain Old Ones

It's easy to fall into a rut after a divorce, but you need to make an effort if you want your social life back.

The internet makes it easier than ever for those who have just gone through a divorce or just starting on their own to make new friends.

At first glance, online dating can seem like a scary endeavor -– but it doesn't have to be!

You can develop strong friendships that will last a lifetime with some time and effort.

One of the most important things when dating after divorce is making sure you have support from loved ones, so reconnecting with friends is key for single people. You don't have to go it alone!

7) Get Rid of the Crazies

Once you've met someone and had a great first date, one of your first instincts may be to start looking at their social media accounts.

It's fun to see what they post, what kind of pictures they take, and how they present themselves online.

Even if these behaviors don't show up until later in relationships—like after you've been dating for six months—they're often red flags that should tell you not to pursue it further.

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About the Creator

Happy Life Official

I write about relationships, health, happiness, and much more to ease your life routine.

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