6 Proven Ways to Get past a Breakup

Who said Love don't cost a thing?

A breakup can make you feel like your heart is literally being broken into pieces. While it will hurt in the meantime, it will not always sting that bad. There are proven ways to get past a breakup, and in this article, I’ll show you how.

Work on Rebuilding Your Self-Esteem

If your significant other broke up with you, it's natural to begin analyzing your physical appearance and behavioral features, wondering what's wrong with you that would lead someone to lose interest in you. Instead, think in the opposite direction. Rather than focusing on what traits you don't have, focus on what you actually value in yourself and what you gave to the relationship. Make a list of character traits, emotional strengths, skillsets, abilities, and any other quality that matters in a relationship. If you're stuck for ideas, turn to your closest friends and family, who will gladly reveal all the reasons they consider themselves blessed to have you in their lives.

Fake It till You Make It

Even doing something that makes you feel like you're getting over a breakup, according to a study published in The Journal of Neuroscience, can help mend a shattered heart. That's because simply believing you're working on getting over your ex might activate sections of your brain that can help you cope with suffering. While enrolling in a calligraphy class is unlikely to cure your sadness, if you believe it can, it just could. Mind has the upper hand over Matter.

Limit Your Usage of Social Media

Unfollowing your previous partner isn't enough to clear your timeline of their presence when you have a lot of mutual friends. Limit your social media use until the wound heals a bit if you don't want to be blasted with their face every time you log on. Of course, that doesn't mean you won't feel compelled to scroll through their profile. Think about stuff you can 'keep tabs' on whenever you feel compelled to look into someone's online activities. Talk to your parents or check on your buddy who is overburdened with a new baby. Your well-meaning acquaintances may be tempted to pass along any juicy news they come across while you're doing everything you can to create distance. So, be proactive and tell them you're having trouble moving on and that it's best if they keep it to themselves.

Get past the 'Closure' Mentality

You realize real life isn't like a rom-com, but you can find yourself yearning for a dramatic break-up to help you move on. Unfortunately, what happens more frequently in real life is that two people steadily drift apart, and one of you is left wondering why? It's possible that beneath the intense need for closure is a longing to reunite. There's this notion that if you just keep asking, you'll find something that will allow you to undo what happened and reunite with that person. Realizing and accepting that you weren't the perfect match for each other is healthier, and better for your long-term mental health. If the other person is unable to verbalize their reasons for no longer wanting to be with you, convince yourself that the fact that your previous partner was unable to go the distance is all the explanation you require to properly end that chapter.

Take an Objective Walk Down Memory Lane

When your mind wanders and you begin reminiscing about all the happy times you and your partner shared, you're inclined to overlook the negative aspects- the minor quarrels, lifestyle clashes, and useless squabbles that plague every relationship. Recall how you and your partner didn't communicate for 24 hours after a disagreement on the plane ride there. Remind yourself that you used to feel concerned before every trip because your companion was never on time. To put it another way, make a point of bringing up the negative because your mind will only reinforce the positive. Keep the scene as realistic as possible. Remembering what the relationship was truly like can help you look for a new scenario with fewer drawbacks.

Put All of Their Negative Traits in Writing

If you have nothing nice to say, Mom advises you to... well, you know the rest. But we're confident she'll make an exception this time. Allow yourself to channel your inner cruel kid for a moment. Make a note of all the ways this individual was bad for you. Consider every bothersome characteristic they possessed, as well as all the relational concessions you had to make. Keep that list on your phone so you may go to it if you feel like they're not quite right. It's normal to romanticize the person as well as the relationship.