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She is 9 years old. I am 3 years old. She is very pretty. She is a princess. I am not a princess because I am a boy. She is the prettiest girl in the world.

She is 14 and I am 8 and I love her loads and we'll get married and I dream about saving her from a volcano because I saw a volcano on the TV in The Land Before Time and one day we'll get married and have seven children and I'll be a footballer or an astronaut and she'll be a doctor or a politics.

She is 19 and I am 13 and I want to know what a blowjob is and if she'll do one on me but I can't ask her to because she is 19 and I am 13 so I'm not allowed to talk to her when I see her in the street as it would embarrass her then I would spoil my chances altogether.

She is 24 and I am 18. She's in this club that I'm in for my birthday. She walks past and I smile at her but she doesn't even notice I'm there. I get drunk and pluck up my courage. I go over and ask for a light, if I can buy her a drink, anything to talk to her. She says "I know you" and I say "I know you too." We dance and she kisses me and I kiss her back, this is the perfect moment.

She's 31. I'm 25. We are married. We have seen the world and now we holiday twice a year in Portugal or Italy or Greece. I work in a bank and have worked my way up from the bottom, she is a teacher at a secondary school. Life is perfect. She is perfect.

She is 35 and I am 29. We have twins together. One boy, one girl. She doesn't work anymore, I earn enough to support us all, we just can't holiday twice a year these days. But that's fine as we have the two most perfect children to raise in our perfect home together. She's as beautiful as ever, if not more beautiful in motherhood. I am a very lucky man.

She is 39, I'm 33. This is stale. I'm bored of my normal job, my normal life. She feels the same and we went to a marriage counsellor to try and sort ourselves out. We have the kids to think about, but if we're miserable then they may be miserable. I just don't know anymore. I don't know what I want. I want excitement, but not danger. I could take up a sport or find a hobby, but most things are boring and I lack commitment.

She is 44. I am 38. He is 25. I fucking hate her for it, but I don't blame her. I am so distant from her. I spend my nights in my study, playing Xbox or reading, leaving her to deal with the kids on her own. No wonder she sought out attention. No wonder she did it. It does add a new dynamic to our relationship though, and it actually forces us closer together, in a manner. I've spent more time with her in these recent weeks than the entire of last year.

She is 49, I am 43. Everything is as it was. I look at her the same as I did all those years ago. Our sex life is insane nowadays, she got into some pretty intense pornography and now we try a lot of new things. She sexts me whilst I'm at work, everything is so exciting. We have started holidaying twice a year again, now that we don't have to take the twins. We have more time for each other. I have more time to just look at her.

She is 61, I am 55. My body aches continuously and I don't have the energy to chase our grandchild around. I have a heart attack and she sits at my bedside for 3 whole days. When I come round she is smiling at me and I am not scared that my heart could give up at any second. She makes me feel safe. I need to adjust my diet and exercise more frequently. Regular sex with my beautiful wife will surely help.

She is 75. I am 69. I am tremendously in shape for my age. I only have a few more months before I can retire from work and we can set off on our adventure around America. She is exceptionally excited for the trip, though she claims she'll miss the twins and our 5 grandchildren. I'll miss them, but I've also spent the last 40 years of my life worrying about them and now is my time to just do nothing. Live without a care.

She is 77, I am 71. We did LSD in America and it was mind blowing. We have considered heroin, seeing as we're both old as time and have lived a full, healthy life. We probably wouldn't do it, but it has been discussed. We moved to a cottage in Cornwall so we could be near the sea. That's the sort of thing old people like us enjoy. We have continuous access to ice cream and fish and chips. It's ever so enjoyable.

She is 88, I am 82. I don't know who goes first but I know we both go together. We are in our bed when the bright white light comes for us both. We welcome it with wide open arms and a smile on our face. In truth, we are both sleeping, hand in hand, happy in each other's company. Before I fell asleep I remember all the years we have spent together, travelling the world, raising our beautiful children, spending time with our grandchildren and our great grandchild.

I remember our wedding day and the first time I was brave enough to speak to her. I remember dreaming of saving her from volcanoes and being an astronaut, being too scared to speak to her. I remember the first time I saw her when she was 9, I was 3.