5 Types of White Guys You Will Date as a Black Girl 2
What can I say, they just get better
Last year, I posted my most read article on this platform: ''5 Types of White Guys You Will Date as a Black Girl." I still don't know how so much traffic drove people to read it to be honest, but it has over 3000 reads as of now. Since then, I have lived more, talked with more people, and also sat down to think about my previous encounters a little more, and came up with five other types. The humorous tone will hopefully still be present, and keep in mind that this is all fun and games... right? Make sure to read the first one if you haven't already and with that being said, ENJOY!
6. The ''funny'' one
The “funny” one is a type on the rise in 2019. As more and more people love to claim their edginess because they are against everything PC (politically correct), they often don’t realize that they are actually pretty basic. Degrading LGBTQ+ folks, and minimizing the struggles of people of colour is one of the most basic things one can do nowadays. But of course, this dude didn’t get the memo, and so having these behaviours is a main part of his personality. What can I say, he is just FU-NNY! *eye roll* He makes offensive jokes, uses the N-word without a single ounce of shame, but makes up for it by heart-eyes-reacting to all your selfies on Instagram. The worst part of it all, is that he is considered funny by many people, again, because his sense of humour is very common. He is told all the time that he’s a “cool dude,” and there is a strong positive correlation between time and the inflation of his ego. He’s, sometimes, not dumb though, he knows better than to make these jokes in your face. But you see what he shares on Facebook, you've read his comments, and have seen him around his friends, and so you know. He’s cute, maybe. He has a nice beard, per se. But when you bring things up to him, he brushes it off, telling you there’s no malicious intent behind his jokes; “what can I say, it’s just how I am,” he’ll add. He devours you with his eyes every time you two are hanging out, which is flattering, but... he won’t change... and you know it. Maybe you two can stay good acquaintances, but nothing more, because you deserve more than a Phil who values his popularity over your feelings.
7. The silent one
The silent one is a tempting type for some. If you’re a Black girl who isn’t involved in politics and racially charged topics and conversations, he will seem like the answer to all your prayers, because... he doesn’t talk about it, ever. He probably uses the statement “I don’t see colour” without knowing the impact of it, nor the implications because he just does not know better. All types of risky conversations make him uncomfortable, and he usually isn’t aware of many social justice debates. Don’t get me wrong, this little puppy is usually really cute, and you’d like to live with him on a deserted island free of all racism and prejudices, but the truth is... society is far from that. He doesn’t want to hear about any of this, because “race stuff” gives him sweaty palms, and so you’ll have to keep all your problems inside, which isn’t healthy. You should have a partner you feel comfortable talking to about your insecurities and struggles, even if they can’t always relate. Maybe you can keep Simon’s number in case society makes a 360 and decides to not be crappy anymore, but until then, he probably isn’t the best choice.
8. The scientist
Number eight is pretty common when talking with women of colour in general about their experiences. I say he’s a scientist because he’s testing things out. You most likely are the first Black girl he has ever dated, and he is still trying to figure you out. One characteristic he has, is that he isn’t the best at compliments. He also doesn’t compliment you often to begin with, to the point where you are wondering if he actually likes you at all. He’s cool, sure, but you have this feeling that he isn’t attracted to you. When you two are out on dates, he checks out all the blondes walking by, and all his celebrity crushes are your opposites. From Blake Lively to Emma Stone, without forgetting Sophie Turner. Of course this doesn’t mean anything necessarily, but you can’t help but feel insecure when he gases up white women; you wonder why he’s even with you to begin with, if his type is so clear. You try to brush it off and comfort yourself looking at your own diverse tastes, picking out the people you find attractive, and who are different from one another. But no matter how many times you try to rationalize your attraction to both Micheal B. Jordan and Shawn Mendes, you know something is off. You find yourself wishing you were White... a lot. Alright, so he wants to test you out. But why? It’s hard to say. Maybe he wants to see if the stuff he heard about Black girls are true, or maybe he wants to convince himself he’s not racist! He wants to date you for a little while to then give himself a pat on the back after he leaves you for Jessica. Of course he’ll bring you up when people accuse him of crappy comments two years from now, saying “no no, I dated a Black girl once!!!!” Sis, your gut feeling is right; leave him. You’re not a guinea pig and you can’t sit here while Mike drools over every Ivory-named foundation wearing chick in this bar.
9. The one I hope you'll never meet
This type doesn’t have a clear name. And to be honest it’s because I couldn’t settle for one. This really is just the one I hope you’ll never meet. I did and it’s beyond horrifying. Furthermore, he is hard to frame at first. Can you spot him after the first date? Most likely not, or maybe you can. I guess it depends. For me he was a sweet guy. But like many people you’ll meet, they sometimes just won’t make the final cut. And when you’ll tell him that it won’t work, that’s when the ugly will come out. Maybe you two hadn’t talked about anything related to race before, just because you’re not into these conversations, or because it just never occurred and so how could you have known? Being rejected is not something he can deal with, and he’ll let you know. Insults, slurs, and maybe worse. You will feel shivers all over your body, maybe even tears building behind your eyelids. You’ll ask yourself how come people as horrible still exist, and how come they can say even more horrible things. Because using words that have centuries of meaningful hatred is the easiest way to destroy someone maybe. Maybe you’ll miss school the next day, because you’ll still be heartbroken and distraught. Maybe you’ll feel guilty. I’m so mean for saying no, I’m so mean for changing my mind. Maybe you’ll feel stupid. How come I didn’t see this coming?But it is not your fault. You'll have questions running through your mind for a while. We had things in common and he gave me attention, how could he turn out so bad? And most importantly: if he really believed these things about me then why was he into me in the first place? Who knows. But don’t be too mean when he’ll come back years after saying there’s nobody like you. Try to not be too harsh. You deserve better than to feel hatred for someone who has that in their heart.
10. The one I'm, I guess, still looking for...?
Alright, this is just me being silly here. If you read the first version of the list, you might remember the fifth type which was ''the right one, finally," which I described as understanding, funny, and open-minded, and these are characteristics I am still very much looking for, don't get me wrong. However, I will admit that this is the one I haven't quite met yet. Part of the description was inspired by true events, but some were maybe just the fruits of my imagination, thinking about these things that I wish that boy had. To be clearer, I am in a constant battle when it comes to this because I feel like it is asking too much. I have no desire to raise a man, that is an absolute no, I am nobody's mom. Even if teaching people about social issues is something I would like to do as a living, I don't want to be doing that in my own personal life, with my friends or romantic partner. But then what should I have the right to refuse when it comes to problematic behaviours, and what should I just learn to accept? What is worth sitting down with him and explaining to him how his comments are hurtful, and when should I just let it go? What should I agree to disagree on? I think about that a lot. But after questioning it, I think my number one demand is to find someone who is opened to listening to my experiences, and the ones of people like me. I want someone who's respectful, and who's opened to changing their mind on topics they've been told biased things about their whole life. I want someone who will care about me enough to not downplay my experiences and feelings. Is that too much to ask? I hope not. But I guess only time will tell.