Does love make you happy? Does the sound of your partner's voice send you into euphoria? Do you get excited when their message pop up on your phone?
If not, then you are not in love. Romantic love are one of the best predictors of happiness.
It gives me joy seeing couples in love when I walk past the park. I get this sensation of ecstasy and chill just watching them tease each other.
I was at a community fundraising few weeks ago, when I suddenly saw a man blushing as he typed on his phone. I could tell he was chat someone from his expression. He looked surprised but happy.
When he caught me staring, I smiled at him, though the curiosity was written on my face.
I do see him and his wife around my estate but we weren't friends, just neighbors. I didn't even know their names.
Few minutes later, he joined my table and we hit it off from there. He is very much a talker and in love with his wife. They were often together whenever we ran into each other.
He told me he was doing a challenge with his wife over the weekend. She dared him to dance naked at a stripe club. A month ago, he had challenged his wife to a 5k run and now it was his turn to do a challenge.
He admitted that dancing naked was a bit too much for his confidence but he was going to do it anyway. He said they always do stuffs like this to build each other up if there were certain areas of their lives that needed improvement.
He told me his wife said he had social anxiety and needed to deal with his fears to be more confident with himself in public. So with this challenge- dancing in public would be a great way to free himself from his anxiety.
Well, the naked part was what intrigued me more. He said he liked how dirty and fun the challenge was. It made it more difficult to resist because he wasn't just doing it for himself but also to entertain his wife.
Hearing him speak with so much enthusiasm was refreshing. Unlike, what I see in most couples, they are a perfect pair for each other.
Love is amazingly comforting when you meet someone who's committed to walk with you through each stage of the relationship- through the good and bad times without giving up on you.
So if you are not feeling that intense undying love from your partner, here are five strategies to help you fall deeply in love with them.
Sacrifice your needs for theirs
Relationships are never easy. Anyone who tells you otherwise, is lying to you.
We often act selfish and believe every relationship needs a 50/50 commitment to be sustainable. But there are times this ration can change for different reasons.
There are times you'll to have to sacrifice more for your partner. When your partner cannot give much of themselves and in that case, it could be 60/40 or less.
The best thing you can do is practice putting your partner's need before your always. When you learn to fulfil your partner's needs before yours, it will not only make them love you more, it will create a bond that can be unbroken by time or temptation.
Always work on improving yourself
As important as it is to work on your relationship, it's also important that you work on yourself.
There are times that we neglect the fears we carry from previous relationships and this can be the detriment of your current relationship.
Building a strong and lasting relationship require constant personal development. Some of our insecurities begin to show when we have been in a relationship with someone for a long time.
If you want to create a stronger chemistry with your partner, you should always work on being a better version of yourself.
Like the man I met at the fundraiser, you can challenge yourself with a specific goal to dealing with your emotional and physical issues.
Always appreciate your partner
Most people do not realize it but the very little thing that you do can make your partner fall in love with you.
Things like saying 'thank you' when he does your laundry or brings you coffee when you are working late, or showing up for appointments early, can go a long way to renew their attractions for you.
Your partner want to be seen and heard in the relationship. Taking advantage of their love and neglecting their emotional needs can hurt the relationship.
If you have been neglecting your partner, now would be the time to start paying attention to those little things that your neglect.
The way you whisper his name in the morning, how you welcome him after he returns from work, how you compliment him when he's not watching can make your partner fall in love with you and never let go.
Be ready to stay for the long haul
Most people do not have realistic expectations in their relationships. They think "Love is all fun and no pain" and this is a wrong idea about true love.
True love has the good and the bad days. There are days you wake up and you feel like you cannot stand another minute with this person. And there are days you look at them and you feel you can't take another breath without them. That's what true love is.
For you to have such strong bond, you have to be willing to suck it up in those days you can't stand them. That's the time to renewed your love and do those things that attract them to you.
Those days when your feelings are off should be when to create more intimacy instead of pushing them away.
Respect them for who they are
Too often we believe that communication is the key to a strong relationship. While that might sound true, sometimes lack of communication comes in much later after the problem must have eroded your relationship.
I have observed long term relationships of over 40 years, and they all have one thing in common. They respect each other for who they are.
Mutual respect sustains relationships. If you do not respect your partner, you create room for doubt and wavering emotions.
You won't be able to trust them, or you will try to control their action and intrude on their boundaries. You will start to keep things from them and that is when lack of communication sets in.
It's important that you value each other, believe in yourselves and trust you know what's best for each other in the relationship.
If you're always insecure when your partner isn't around you, it's time you start giving them the benefit of a doubt.
Trust that they know what they're doing. Respect that their actions and choices are wise enough to keep the relationship strong.
And while you're trusting them, don't forget to respect yourself too. Because if you do not respect yourself, you will not value the respect your partner shows you.
Jessey Anthony is a motivational speaker, fitness coach and relationship expert who helps people become confident in themselves in any challenges they face in life. Sign up to my newsletter & more cool stuff.
This article appeared here.