There are many girls who want to save their boyfriends, but they always like to talk sarcastically with their boyfriends, and there is a kind of dripping pain after that. You find it painful to say prickly words, but these words run counter to your goal of saving your boyfriend. Why don't you calmly reflect on whether there are the following reasons:
First: you feel that you can no longer influence the other person, so you subconsciously think that if you can hurt your boyfriend, maybe he won't dare to be so tough.
Second: you are so upset about what is happening right now that you want to make a comeback in language.
Third: always think that your boyfriend is indifferent to what you say, so you need to use tough words to get his attention.
5 practical communication skills to help you get your boyfriend back
If you look at yourself carefully and find that you really have one of these situations, be sure to give up saying what you want to say. Because although you overwhelm him in words, you are more and more likely to save your boyfriend from your original intention. Be sure to keep your mouth shut when talking to him and remember that you are here to recover, not to vent.
2. Learn to listen to each other
If the couple broke up because of something conflicting, it is recommended that both of them calm down for a while. When two people are calm enough to be emotionally stable, you can ask him out to talk about the problems you haven't solved. When both sides are calm, the most important thing is to listen to what the other person cares about. When you listen carefully to what he is saying and put yourself in his shoes to understand his feelings, his heart that has been hurt by you may slowly recover, and then slowly accept you again to give you a chance to work together into the future again.
Couples finally break up because of some conflicts, calm down for a while, when the two people's emotions have stabilized, they can ask each other to discuss unsolved problems. The most important thing at this time is to learn to listen to what each other cares about most. When the other person thinks that you can listen to and understand his views and feelings, his broken heart can slowly recover, and slowly he will be willing to give you a chance to understand him again.
3. Learn to apologize
Many men want to break up with their girlfriends because the girl has done a lot of things to hurt him, such as self-willed, too much, deliberately to tempt and test, until the man can not stand it directly proposed to break up. So for this kind of girl who has hurt her boyfriend, if she wants to successfully save her boyfriend, she should first know how to sincerely apologize to him.
There are also several points to pay attention to in apologizing:
First: express regret after affirming and understanding his feelings.
Second: fully accept your responsibility for the conflict in this breakup.
Third: you have to make it clear to the other person that you didn't mean to hurt him.
Fourth: explain what happened at that time and why you did it at that time.
Fifth: repair the damage you have done.
Even if you meant no harm at that time, it was not intentional, but as long as your actions hurt the other person, you still have to apologize for his feelings. It's not an easy thing to do, but it's a really effective way. He will surely feel and be more willing to accept your sincere apology.
4. Say what you want, not what you don't want
To save your boyfriend, be honest about what you really want, so that the other person can also consider whether he can satisfy you, and then consider whether it is suitable to come back to you. If we just express what we don't want, we will only make our boyfriends more and more at a loss. For example, after two people break up, the boyfriend still loves his girlfriend, as long as the girlfriend to retain, the boyfriend will immediately agree to return to his girlfriend. When the girlfriend said very clearly, I hope you can accompany me to eat more, so that I will not always quarrel with you. We'll have a good time together. In this way, it will be easy for a boyfriend to go back to his girlfriend. If my girlfriend just says to her boyfriend, I don't need you to go shopping with me, nor do I need you to give me money. This will only make the boyfriend feel that his girlfriend is really difficult to get along with. It's not easy for two people to make up. Only if the other person knows what to do next, he will have enough confidence to return to the relationship.
5. Communicate with your boyfriend with positive requests, and never criticize your boyfriend with negative complaints.
Complaining is just focusing on the past and negative things that have nothing to do with you, and it won't help to change the status quo. To ask is to respect each other and express your expectations. The request is to focus on what hasn't happened yet, and there is still room for improvement on both sides. The complaint always smacks of attack, questioning, command and coercion. Obviously, when you want to save your boyfriend, but open your mouth and say why you can't do this, or you shouldn't, it will make your boyfriend feel that you are controlling him. In order to protect his self-esteem, he usually either fights back or gets farther and farther away from you. It's impossible to get back together.