4 Tips on How to Date a Friend Without Ruining the Friendship

Dating can be awkward and challenging. Staying friends afterward requires a fair amount of tact and strategy. Dating a friend often comes with additional complications, especially if that friend is also a colleague or another member of your social circle. We all have that one friend we admire for something specific — maybe she’s funny, adventurous or just nice. It doesn’t hurt if she’s also good-looking, but looks aren’t the reason you want to date her.

Well, perhaps it does hurt if you find her so unapproachable and off-limits because of this friendship and your professional circumstances. Whatever the case may be, there are ways to navigate these tricky waters so you don’t ruin your friendship in the process.

Understand why you want to date her

Is she the perfect fit for you, or is it just a fling? Why you want to date her can determine whether a relationship between the two of you will work out — and if you’re willing to risk your friendship. If the two of you have similar interests and get along really well, dating could be a great idea.

Just be sure that you’re not just looking for a quick fling and that you don’t want to date her simply because she’s so nice and easy to be around. If you want to date her because she’s hot and you want to sleep with her, chances are you’ll break up with her as soon as you’re done having sex. If you want to date her because you genuinely like her personality and want to be in a relationship with her, you’ll probably want to stay together for a long time.

Don’t Assume You’ll Be Dating For a Long

Dating someone is often portrayed as an endless, never-ending process that only ends when one of you dies. It can be something that will last a very long time, but not always. Long-term dating relationships often start as short-term ones. You don’t have to assume that you’ll be together forever just because you’re dating.

Take it one date at a time while keeping an open mind and an open heart. Don’t make assumptions about how long you’ll be together, and don’t rush into anything. It’s also likely that you don’t know how long your friendship will last before you even start dating. Dating can make or break a friendship, so you want to be as careful as possible during this process.

Set Boundaries And Have An Exit Strategy

Dating can be messy, and keeping your relationship with your friend professional until you know for sure that you’re both on the same page is extremely important. Set boundaries for what you’ll do and what you won’t do, and make sure that she does the same. But be careful not to be too strict or rigid with these rules, or you may end up hurting the friendship.

Be sure that you have an exit strategy in place. What will you do if your friend decides she wants to date you and you’re not interested in her romantically? What if she wants to break up with you and you want to break up with her? Knowing how you’ll exit the relationship as quickly and painlessly as possible is key.

Don’t Talk About The Future Or Exclusivity

You may be in a hurry to get to the next level and go from “Boyfriend and Girlfriend” to “Boyfriend and Girlfriend”. If you rush into it and start to talk about an exclusive relationship, your friend may feel pressured to do the same. Understandably, you want to be together forever and feel like you’re in a serious relationship, but don’t bring that up until you know for sure that the friendship is stable and strong enough to survive the pressure.

Don’t talk about the future and how long you think the two of you will be together. This can be pressure for your friend to stay with you for as long as you want her to. If you want to talk about the future, focus on things like where you’ll live, what you’ll do for a living and where you’d like to travel.

Be Very Careful With Touching and Flirting

Just because you’re dating doesn’t mean you have to be touchy-feely all the time. But dating someone can change the dynamics of the friendship. When you’re flirting with your partner and touching each other all the time, it can get awkward and uncomfortable when you’re around people who aren’t part of your relationship. You also want to be careful with flirting. Flirting with your friend will only confuse the relationship and make it more awkward for you both. If you don’t know how to flirt with someone you’re dating, read up on how to do it. Flirting is a skill that you can learn and improve upon over time.

Bottom line

The bottom line is that dating one of your friends is a huge risk. You have to be very careful not to ruin the friendship and make both of you feel uncomfortable. So, before you date someone that you’re close with, make sure you know the risks and that you’re prepared for them. Also, make sure you’re able to handle the pressure of the relationship. Dating someone can be challenging and stressful, but it can be even more difficult if you have to do it while also managing a friendship.