For most of my relationships, I had a severe aversion to saying “I love you”.
Partly because I never really felt it for most of the people I was with, but also because I’m not great at expressing how I feel. I never wanted to say it without meaning it.
Here are some things that could’ve expressed loving thoughts, without dropping commitment bombs that would later bite me in the ass.
I love my life with you in it
Loving your life, being attached to being alive, is something we have in common as a human population.
Expressing that you love your life even more now that your special someone has come along, well… it isn’t as heavy as I love you in general.
It’s like, you’re the icing on the cake that is already my life.
It’s truthful, it’s meaningful, and it will have an impact on your person, without being too serious too fast. Don't feel like you have to apologize for your pace. You're not doing anything wrong.
I can really be myself around you
Nothing is more complimentary than letting someone know they give you the freedom to be unapologetically authentic.
Being able to be real around someone, especially someone you esteem, is a game-changer in a relationship. I’ve been in so many ‘happy’ relationships where I was changing everything about myself to please a person I barely liked. That's not true love, whether you're saying I love you or not...
It wasn’t until I met Shannon that I let my guard down and started acting like the nerdy goofball I really am. And it was unbelievably refreshing. It was like a weight lifted off my shoulders and I was able to just...exist. It was as easy as breathing.
Unapologetically.
You’re my person
It’s flattering to be wanted, and I enjoy hearing my wife say I’m hers.
No, I’m not her property. But she chose me and chooses me, and I love that. It makes me feel special, and it offers me stability in knowing that I'm the person she wakes up and picks time and time again, through my flaws and all of our little issues, we come back together at the end of the day.
The sentiment of displaying ‘ownership’ (without meaning it in a dominant, chauvinistic type of way) is cute and shows love.
I like it.
You’re so important to me
Telling someone they matter, or labeling them as important, shows a desire to have them around and an aim to make them a priority. When you're serious about someone, even if you're not ready to say the magic words, it's so important for them to feel like they're valuable to you.
No one wants to be in a relationship with someone when it seems like they have one foot in the room and another out the door. Not saying 'I Love You' doesn't mean you're not all in, it just means you're moving at your own speed.
But, you've gotta give at least a little bit of an indication that you're serious.
Unless of course, you're not serious, in which case, make sure they know it.
We prioritize the things (and people) we love, and so without directly saying ILY, you’re letting them know you love them.
Remember, just because you’re feeling it doesn’t mean you have to say it, and just because you’ve said it to someone else at a certain time doesn’t mean your next relationships have the same time limit.
Set aside expectations and don’t put too much pressure on yourself, or your partner. It’ll happen in time.
About the Creator
Ashleylx
I write what I'm thinking, and sometimes it makes sense.
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