4 Signs You Might Be Attracted to Intelligence

I’ve gone on a blind date that was my complete opposite in every way, and it was the worst.

The guy I dated made me realize how challenging it is to be with someone with a different intellect.

I’ve always been heart-over-head and intrigued by complexity. I was pulled in by his mysterious nature, as well as his genius intellect, good looks, and relentless enthusiasm.

He was twenty-one years older than me and more experienced in science-related subjects, and would brag of his many tech skills.

We had some similarities in our personalities which made our relationship exciting. Sometimes it was thrilling, but other times, it was frustrating.

The difference in our intellect interfered with our individual character. I felt inferior because I had no experience in his field to contribute to most of our conversations.

Getting to know him was like learning a foreign language. We both had different ways of reasoning.

On our first date, mid-way through dinner, he switched to an esoteric personality — started behaving like an eccentric old man who lost touch with the real world, and that killed my hope of kissing him that night.

Two weeks into the affair, I realized I couldn’t come to terms with his complexity.

The inability to form a romantic bond with his complex personality was ultimately the demise of our two weeks relationship.

We did have some fun together because we were such different people who wanted different things out of a relationship.

He was very laid back in that sense, and I’m the kind of person who gets very intense about the other person. We were more suited for friendship, not partnership.

Our sexuality can be fluid. Who we are sexually attracted to can change in different situations.

For a sapiosexual person, that sexual attraction is turned on by their partner’s intellectual experiences.

There is nothing more sexual than sitting on a porch at 4 a.m. with someone who has made such a compelling argument that I question my own logic or discover a bias that I never knew I had.

However, I’m picky with the type of intellectual I date. If I don’t find you interesting on the same intellectual level, there is little or no chance that our relationship will be successful in the long term.

Signs you’re a sapiosexual person

People who are sapiosexual are physically and emotionally turned on by intelligence.

We seek to find love in people who complement our exiting personalities and intelligence.

As a long-term emotional investment, a person with intelligence makes a lot more sense than a person with good looks.

But how do you know if you are attracted to people’s intelligence or not? Below are signs that prove you may be a sapiosexual.

You don’t go for beauty without brain

Since sapiosexuals are attracted to the intellect, one cannot be sapiosexual without activating the brain.

There is no lust, affection, desire, or sexual satisfaction unless the brain has been first intellectually stimulated.

You will choose a date to a book club over a five-star hotel

A man who reads novels, newspapers, non-fiction books, whatever his poison, always has something exciting to share.

Reading exposes us to ideas that in turn, expose the injustice of our own society by the powerful.

If you enjoy long conversations about politics and literature, you are likely a sapiosexual.

You are interested in people’s careers and potentials than their hobbies

Sapiosexual people may find it difficult to have sexual contact with a potential partner until they have an intellectual discussion.

I like having that vibrant exchange of wisdom in our conversation before hitting the sheets.

Because if he can nibble my brain with his words, then his craftiness in bed can’t be the worst to imagine.

You get turned on by his effluence in different languages

If you are a sapiosexual, his ability to touch your heart without touching your body turns you on.

Multilingual people are smart and good at communicating their feelings in any situation.

Their ability to constantly switch between languages without thinking about it perhaps is why sapiosexuals get aroused when they speak.

We all like dating intelligent people. We like dating people who we have something in common with.

The idea that sapiosexual people think they are better than others can be attributed to unresolved insecurity.

If you are dating someone who doesn’t find humor in your jokes, that doesn’t make them bad. It simply means that you two are not compatible.

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About author

Jessey Anthony is a motivational speaker, fitness coach and relationship expert who helps people become confident in themselves in any challenges they face in life. Sign up to my newsletter & more cool stuff.

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