4 Core Components of a Healthy Relationship!

In my circle of couples, whether married or not, I know only a few who have stuck together in good or bad times. Yes, they have had problems, and they still do. Everyone does, we cannot escape arguments or sad days, but we can do something about them and change our view of things, people, and life.

I have this friend; she has been with her husband for almost 40 years. Two daughters, two dogs, and a few houses later, they are still together. She has always been honest, and I value that in our relationship.

One day we were sipping tea and talking. What makes a relationship make or break? What can you do to change things? What are the core things that make a relationship stronger and healthier?

And it got me thinking. You cannot change the other person, but you can make an effort to understand them. A relationship is hard work, and we have to believe in succeeding to make a difference.

Respect

Everyone wants to be respected and appreciated, so why we do not show respect to others? When you respect someone enough, you show your admiration; you admire them for their good qualities, for the good things they do, for who they are.

Respect is one of the greatest expressions of love. When we treat someone with respect, it shows them that we value them enough to respect them and give them a chance.

For a successful relationship, there needs to be a great deal of respect. Respect for rights and feelings shows affection. Every person is different. We have different thoughts, different perspectives, and opinions. Respect that enough to let them express themselves.

“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.” — Bryant H. McGill

Communication

See how everything aligns? You cannot do one thing without the other three.

No one can know what you are thinking or feeling unless you say it out loud. There is no such thing as a mind reader. Everything we do or feel in this life has affected us for better or worse, hasn’t it? So why not talk about your bad days, as well as the good days?

I will always remember one thing she said — having a conversation where you can talk and say what you think is the best way to grow and grow together. Get your partner in front of you, make him/her tea, have snacks, and ask him/her to listen to what you have to say. Then do it the other way round. Whatever it is — good or bad, say it.

Trust

For me, the hardest part is trusting someone all the way. Either because I still have issues from previous relationships that affect me, or because I am not willing to give a person the benefit of the doubt. But one thing I know for sure, having trust issues for no reason can break a relationship.

Trust each other, take each other at their word. Do not doubt, and if someone makes a mistake, have enough respect, to be honest. Own up to your mistakes. Trust requires that everyone be honest with each other, even if it is uncomfortable or unpleasant.

If something is bothering you, have enough confidence in the other person to be able to say something about it.

Affection

Being in a healthy relationship means you are without a reminder showing your affection. Holding their hand because you want to. Kissing them in a moment and hugging them when you feel like it. Affection should not feel forced; it should feel natural.

Healthy couples do not need to be reminded to show affection, love, or appreciation to one another. Physical contact, intimacy, and sex should be important enough to engage in that with heart and passion.

True, unconditional love is the most powerful thing — when two people are together in a respectful, healthy relationship with one another. You may not always like each other, but you love them no matter what happens; you accept them as they are.

These 4 core components form the basis for the greatest relationship you will have. All 4 things are hard work within yourself, sure. But if one component does not work, it can damage the rest, so work for it.

Every relationship runs into troubles at some point, but that does not mean that you have to give up. It means that you can solve these problems together if you are willing enough to give the person the benefit of the doubt.

Nobody is perfect; we all have to admit that we need to work on ourselves. We develop, learn, change, put in some work to be the person we are, and it is the same with any relationship — put in enough work to make it great.