When first coming out, I was thankful enough to already have a handy dandy lesbian best friend under my belt to help guide me down the trails of homosexuality. However, that is not the case for a lot of young or older individuals just coming out for the first time. Finding friends in the community can be a bit tricky if you're already shy or just don't know where to look. Although it may seem like you're the only person around who prefers the enjoyment of lady parts, you'd be surprised to know that new lesbihonest friends may be closer than you think.
1. Social Media
No matter what, when looking for friends, social media is a great first place to go. The only problem is, finding out whether someone is a lesbian or gay or queer is hard to determine by just profile pictures. The one thing you may encounter is that a lot of the LGBTQ community has more privacy settings than the government, so sometimes it's hard to tell whether someone is playing for the same team. One way to find out is to look at their friends list. You can tell a lot by someone just by the people they are friends with. If this person has more than a handful of gay friends on Facebook, then you've most likely hit the jackpot. Feel free to friend as many lesbians as you can find on FB and don't worry, they won't think you're weird for following them. They see that you too enjoy lady parts and understand completely.
2. Your Local Gay/Lesbian Bars & Clubs
My first time at a gay club was the most liberating experience ever. To see girls dancing with girls, kissing freely, and just being them made it so much easier for me to come out. When you're new on the scene, it's a bit nerve racking to go to a gay club, especially if you haven't found any friends yet. Fear not, a lot of people tend to travel alone when going out. It's completely okay to just go have a drink on your own and dance freely. If you're lucky, someone will like your dance moves and join in.
If you are going with a friend, it's good to pay attention to who they know because once they introduce you, you now know them too, and have the potential to become friends. For me, if I meet a friend of a friend at a bar, I wait till the next day to find them on social media and follow them. They will see you and remember you from the night before. Now, when you see them in public, they are no longer strangers. You can say hello, have a drink, and chat it up in hopes of becoming friends.
3. Look for local events on social media revolving around the LGBTQ community.
Like I said before, social media is a great place to discover new people in the community. It's good to search for local organizations strictly catering to the gay community. They will keep you up to date on all kinds of event you never knew were evening happening in your area. A lot of people don't know the city or town has a Pride fest until they catch wind at the last minute. In my city, we have LGBTQ friendly dinners, hiking trips, yoga sessions, and even self defense. They are great ways to meet new people.
Finding friends when you're just figuring out who you are yourself can be really intimidating, but the best thing about being in the community is that there are tons of people looking for friends too. When there are obstacles around every corner, you shouldn't have to face them alone.