3 Eye-Opening Ways to Get You a Bae on Dating Apps

Are you lonely?

Do you swipe all day on dating apps but never find anyone that’s “bae” material?

On the flip side, do you get rejected on dating apps in favor of more model-like people?

Are you getting tired of me asking you so many questions?

If the answer is yes to all of the above (except the last one), then this article is definitely for you.

After a couple years of successful online dating and some very unsuccessful years, I’ve found some great ways to find your bae on dating apps.

So let’s get to it!

Before we begin, I only ask one thing from you. That you’ll read the rest of the post in Morgan Freeman’s voice. This way, it’ll be, in a way, narrated by Morgan Freeman, and I won’t have to pay him for it.

Okay. On to finding your bae...

1. Sending a unique first message

“Hey,” is always a pretty safe way to go. The classic, “hey beautiful/handsome,” or the ole reliable “hey, what’s up.”

I’ll admit these have worked for me in the past, and if you have several matches to sending messages to, then it’s easier to have a basic one like these. One you can type up real fast, then move on to the next match.

The problem is, none of these really grab your attention. Unless you’re Kendal Jenner going on Tinder, then you’re most likely not going to get many of those people to respond to a “hey.” I mean, you’re essentially asking the recipient of your “hey” to start the convo.

Compliments can work too. If I found the girl to be exceptionally beautiful, I’d tell her in the message how gorgeous she is. This occasionally works. Being complimented makes you feel good for sure, but it doesn’t mean the conversation is going to go anywhere.

More often than not, if I write a girl a compliment message, the convo usually goes like this:

ME: whoa your face is beautiful, like how

Girl: omg, thank you so much 😊 you’re so nice!

ME: thanks! So what kind of food do you like?

Girl: edible food.

ME: Oh. Like cannabis edibles?

.........................

Aaaaaannndd nothing. No response for you, buddy (unless they’re a stoner).

Note how, after the compliment, the imaginary girl based on so many real ones, totally lost interest in the conversation. I’ve done the same thing to girls who have said nice things to me, and for the same reasons do it to me. Physical attraction, or the lack thereof.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how much you compliment there pretty face, they will never let you kiss it if they don’t think you’re hot as well.

So how do you actually get their attention?

By asking a question. But not just any question, a unique question.

Ask them if they believe in aliens, how they feel about climate change, or where they stand on the Office vs. Friends debate. I’ve learned this is the proper way to start a conversation through experience or trial and error if you will.

I’ve called girls beautiful in the first message, and most of the time, I don’t even get their snap or phone number. I’ve used the “hey what’s up” shit way more times than I can count, and it’s even less effective.

I know it’s hard coming up with questions like that. It’s much easier to say what’s up than type out a thoughtful question that will lead to good conversation.

But you know what they say, you get out what you put in. And if you’re putting in shitty messages, you’re going to get shitty responses.

So… do you believe in aliens?

2. Don’t post good photos of yourself

The camera is a tricky son of a bitch.

Sometimes you look like an insta model, and other times like someone took a picture of you in the worst part of your awkward phase (Also known as tagged photos).

I firmly believe, though, based on my years of online dating, that anyone can find just the right angle to make them look way better than they do in real life.

Including myself.

If you’re expecting a story of how I met up with a girl who looked nothing like her photos, you have expected poorly my young padawan. Even though I have a couple of those, my own story of being that deceivingly good looking on-camera person provides a much more insightful lesson.

When I posted a really good picture of myself on my Hinge profile, I didn’t have the intention of tricking anyone. I was just trying to get dates with pretty girls. So the logical move to make would be to post the best photos of me on my page.

However, it took me about 3 failed dates to realize I was inadvertently misleading girls into thinking they were going on a date with a handsome jacked dude, instead of my 5/10 skinny ass.

I would go on dates with girls, we’d have a good time, maybe have some action (wink wink), and then the next day is told she didn’t feel “that” way about me.

Now, it could’ve been these girls simply didn’t like me. I understand that not everyone is going to enjoy hanging out with me. The problem was the photo of me was getting a lot of dates I would’ve never drawn in with an average picture of me.

So I deleted the picture.

And I didn’t get nearly as many matches, but I didn’t get any more dates who were expecting a ripped model man.

People don’t like getting bamboozled. It doesn’t feel good and makes it hard for someone to like you if the pictures they’ve seen don’t look like you.

People want to go out with YOU, not with the you who looks good at certain angles.

So don’t be afraid to post photos that show the more unflattering side of your appearance. At least you’ll know they’re going on a date with you, and not someone else.

3. Only go on dates if you’re genuinely attracted to the person

Do not settle.

I’m sure you’ve heard this phrase from your mom, best friend, a dating expert, or a random person who cares about you (me: *smiles big cheesy grin*). But I can’t overstate how important it is when you’re messaging people on dating apps. Especially for the other person.

If you want to be real about it, you have to ask yourself an honest question. Would you want someone you felt serious about go out with you only for a bit of action or just because they’re lonely? I’ve been treated like that, and vice versa. It doesn’t feel so great. So I stopped. I was hurting girls who didn’t deserve to get hurt by me leading them on just so I could get my fix.

Now there’s nothing wrong with hooking up. But it’s not gonna be a proper hookup if one person is hooked more on your heart than your… you know what (Hint: It's not your personality or your mutual interest in Marvel movies).

The main factor, however, is you. There’s always going to be an opportunity on a dating app to find someone as desperate as you are. It’s better than being single, right? Even if you don’t like them, right? (grumpy cat pops up in front of your face) No, and hell no.

The key is to be patient. It’s quite easy to choose someone who likes you, just because they want you. But most good things require waiting.

If someone messages you saying you’re cute, but you don’t think the same about them, remember this: If you wait for the best, you’ll have the best. Then respond with, “Awww thanks, buddy.”

Conclusion

Finding the right bae is hard.

As for me, I’m still searching. So following these methods isn’t going to whip you up a top-grade partner in the next week. The point of using these hacks is to find a quality bae, and it may take you a while.

So break out the porn, download Tinder, or buy a sex doll, and wait it out till your true love comes along.

And when they do... hide the sex doll.

Good luck with finding love, my beautiful children! I believe in you :)