16 Things That Are Profound and Mundane

I read a story by Judey Kalchik and decided to use what I could to write a similar 16-point story. Her story is directly below:

“Here’s a collection of the profound and the mundane that I have embraced. Can you guess which came from living and which from social skimming?” (Judey Kalchik)

To: Judey Kalchik

From: Denise Lindquist - here are the things which I am sure about mostly from life:

1. People are expected to become proficient very early in life. My grandchildren can play games on phones they have never used before at the Verizon store. I have trouble just figuring out how to turn the phone on.

2. Squash does not taste like pasta. Gluten-free pasta does not taste like the pasta I grew up on. Squash is best as soup. Brussel sprouts are best fried with heavy cream and bacon! Who eats potatoes that haven’t been fried or have butter on them? Fake food is not real food!

3. A stretched-out rubber band in my back pocket or a pair of brass knuckles in my purse should not be a sufficient reason to stop me from going into the federal building. I didn’t know they were illegal, and that you would confiscate them. The grandson said they were fake!

4. All kids should use their box of 64 Crayola crayons that they carry with them, instead of using their grandma’s.

5. I know there are pop-culture references that I will make that many people I make them to, will first have never heard them and second when explaining, not get it! You had to be there and I’m old, so of course, they weren’t there!

6. Under, behind, and on top of my refrigerator get cleaned only when I move, or when I need to replace the appliance, and that goes for most of them!

7. Whatever happened to the fruit cocktail? Fruit cups have fruit cocktail and the grandchildren prefer them to mandarins or pineapple. Not me!

8. I will never read all of the books on my bookshelves. That will not stop me from buying others. I have trouble going into a bookstore without a purchase. It is best if I stay away!

9. I can Copy and Paste with the best of them! Why is this so hard for some? I get asked regularly to open something up to share. They don't know how when I ask them to copy and paste. That’s when my daughter’s words pop into my head, “A monkey could do it!”

10. I know it’s true, but ‘Zero Carbs!’ on most cheeses is not necessary!

11. ‘Sock it to me!’ and ‘Hit me, baby, one more time’ is not about asking to get a black eye, or getting hit at all!

12. If you ask me for my opinion I will tell you the truth.

13. Marie Kondo started a movement of paring away unused stuff in your home. Then Minimalism came into fashion and it made sense to me, but it will take me the rest of my life and I won’t make it! I have lived with Maximalism most of my life.

14. I remember at least two rhymes from childhood that I can still recite. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All of the king’s horses and all of the king’s men, Couldn’t put Humpty together again.

Then: Pease porridge hot, Pease porridge cold, Pease porridge in the pot, Nine days old.

15. Putting dark chocolate and heavy cream in the coffee cup before adding the decaf coffee makes it taste so much better.

16. No ‘unwired’ bra is so comfortable that you don’t wish you would have done your boob exercises more consistently!