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10 Signs He's Not Your Soulmate

He might be alright, but is he "The One?" Here are some signs he's not your soulmate.

By Mackenzie Z. KennedyPublished 5 years ago 5 min read

The idea of finding your special soulmate is something that is seriously romanticized, and to a point, is also fantasized about by most people. There's this magical idea that there's someone for everyone, and if you listen to all the rom-coms, you'll "just know" he's the one.

Soulmates aren't that simple though. Sometimes, it's hard to tell if he's really "The One." It's very possible to mistake a soulmate for someone who just seemed good on paper.

Are you with your soulmate? Should you really be with your partner at all? If you notice any of these signs, he's not your soulmate.

He might be cute, he might be sweet, but are you really with your soulmate if you're afraid to tell him how you feel?

Part of being one half of a successful couple is being able to talk about the important things with ease—or at least, with honesty. Having no communication means that no progress will be made about the difficult things that might arise within the relationship.

If he can't handle bad news very well, then you're not with your soulmate. Your ideal match will understand, or, at the very least, will try to figure out a way to understand where you're coming from.

He's a great match for you, but you really don't find him attractive.

Maybe you have a guy who's perfect with you. He buys you gifts, he listens to you, he's down to do everything you want him to do. He's amazing like that, and you know for a fact that he'll be the rock you need when times are tough.

But attraction-wise? Yeah, he's not doing it for you. At all. Like, the idea of you getting it on with him just makes your skin crawl. You can't do it! Or, maybe, it's just that it's a pretty solid "meh" vibe you get.

Does it feel like you're settling? Yeah, he's not your soulmate.

He's great, but due to your different lifestyles, you really can't live with him.

You're super tidy. He's a slob. You need to be able to have a carefully-planned routine. He's a spur-of-the-moment type of dude. You love intelligent discourse, he's as dumb as Derek Zoolander.

While you might love his adorable personality in small to medium portions, you might find him to be a bit much when you have to wake up next to him.

He does not have his life together and refuses to work on it.

Here's the thing about soulmates that everyone tends to overlook: They are supposed to come at a point in their lives when they're ready to be good for you. Meeting your soulmate earlier means that they will have to come back to you at a time where they're actually capable of handling their business.

Remember, soulmates aren't supposed to complete you. They are supposed to help you and accompany you throughout your life without being an overall burden to you.

If you were honest, you know he's a bad influence on you.

A soulmate is the type of person who brings out the best in you, and helps you get yourself together when shit hits the fan. At times, this can mean escapism, but more often than not, it's about giving you the courage to confront problems head-on.

It's very tempting to go with a partner who you know isn't good for you just because he makes you feel good. Don't fall for that trap. It's often an illusory high that ends up causing your life to come crashing down. Soulmates don't hurt you like that; wolves in sheep's clothing do.

Have you ever seen a couple that claims to be soulmates, but for some reason, they just don't seem to have that spark? It feels weird, forced, or otherwise just wrong to see them with one another.

Believe it or not, both people in that relationship know (on some level) that their relationship isn't good for them. They are just coasting along in hopes that they'll fake it until they make it. Unfortunately, affection and attraction can't really be faked in the long run.

As awkward as it felt to see the two of them together, trust me when I say that it's even more palpable when you're actually in a relationship like that. Simply put, if you feel like you're forcing things, it is more than likely that your partner may not be your soulmate.

You're only with him because you want to avoid being alone.

After a certain age, being alone gets difficult. It's hard to be surrounded by happy couples who have all walked down the aisle while you're still sitting there, single and wondering why it hasn't happened to you.

If you're the type of person who also wants to have kids, the pressure to find someone—anyone—can be pretty damned horrible. When this happens, it is oh so easy to just settle for anyone who will take you. And, it's okay to do that if you really want to settle down that badly.

Just don't be delusional. If you're settling, he's not your soulmate.

The communication you have could be better.

No matter what kind of relationship you're in, be it friendship or romantic, you need to be able to communicate with your partner. If you can't do that, or if your partner just doesn't want to communicate with you, then there's a huge problem.

A relationship simply can't be healthy without a good dose of communication. If he refuses to listen to you, can't understand you, or you just can't actually talk things out, then there's no way he's a your soulmate. Heck, he's probably not even a good partner.

A soulmate doesn't abuse you. A soulmate doesn't drag you down. They don't harm you, act like a leech, or do things that otherwise hurt you. If you find your quality of life is turning downward, or if you find yourself unhappy with your partner because of the actions he does, you need to break up with him.

He's not your soulmate at this point. He's just your tormentor.

You can straight up see yourself with other people.

If you believe in the concept of finding that special someone, then you already know what they are supposed to be "The One" for you. As in, you couldn't imagine your life without them, and you just couldn't be happy with anyone else. (Or at least, that's what traditionally was supposed to happen.)

If you can see yourself dating and marrying someone else, then he's not your soulmate.


About the Creator

Mackenzie Z. Kennedy

Socialite and dating guru Mackenzie Kennedy knows all about the inner workings of people and society as a whole. It's not only her lifestyle - it's her passion. She lives in Hoboken with her pet dogs, Cassie and Callie.

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