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10 Brutally Honest Things Your Lover Doesn't Want You to Know

Successful relationships that last a lifetime are built on trust and honesty

By Christian NissiPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
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10 Brutally Honest Things Your Lover Doesn't Want You to Know
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

When it comes to our romantic partners, we all want to believe that they'll be honest with us.

But the truth is that they probably won't let you in on a few critical aspects of their romantic pasts, what they really think of your friends, or what kind of future they see for the two of you.

Don't make a big deal out of this—it just means you both have secrets!

Truth #1: "I thought about breaking up with you before."

The truth is, breaking up with someone can feel like the best thing in the world sometimes—there's no shame in admitting this! It takes a mature and self-aware person to know when to end a relationship and move on.

However, as necessary as these qualities are, they're often lacking among young people still learning how to navigate relationships.

It's normal for your partner to think about ending the relationship occasionally. Remember: being honest with yourself comes first!

Truth #2: "I'm not interested in hanging out with some of your friends."

Your partner loves you and wants to be there for you. But as human being who also likes time alone, they don't want to spend their Friday nights sitting around with people who get on their nerves.

If your friends are particularly toxic or boring, it may be time for your lover to give them the old heave-ho—and you can't blame them for that!

By Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Your partner doesn't want to do everything with you, either. They have their interests and passions outside of spending every waking minute with you.

Truth #3: "Your opinions don't always matter to me."

Another brutal truth is that your partner may not always agree with your opinions. They probably don't always respect them.

If you find this hard to swallow, maybe it's because you're still under the impression that they want what's best for you—after all, they'd never tell you otherwise!

But the truth is that when your partner disagrees with what you think, it's not because they don't care about your feelings or want to hurt or upset you. It's just because their opinion differs from yours, and they have no reason not to share it honestly either way.

Truth #4: "Sometimes I wish we'd spent our time together differently."

The truth is that your lover might have wanted to spend their time with you but didn't. Maybe they wanted to do something different than what you were doing together. Perhaps they wanted to spend time with someone else instead of with you.

Or maybe your partner just needed some alone time to recharge after the weekend was over, and it felt like too much energy for them at the end of the night when all you really wanted to do was cuddle up on the couch and chat about your day (or watch Netflix).

Everyone has different needs and priorities. It's important to respect those differences as part of an understanding between two people who care deeply about each other and want to be together every day.

Truth #5: "I can't always feel your pain when you're hurting."

You may think that your partner is the wrong person for not feeling your pain when you're hurting, but it's not that simple.

A person might have difficulty understanding another person's perspective on something because they don't share similar experiences (like when someone doesn't know why you think Beyoncé is culturally relevant).

In this case, it could be helpful for both parties to take time apart so they can process their emotions separately before re-engaging in the conversation at hand again later on down the road.

Truth #6: "Sometimes I judge you by what you wear."

We're all guilty of it: you see someone wearing an oversized, ugly shirt and immediately make a mental note to avoid them at parties. It happens all the time—you can't help it! We're hardwired to judge people based on their appearance.

By Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona on Unsplash

You mustn't let your partner become someone who makes snap judgments about other people based on what they wear (or look like). You need to appreciate that everyone has their style, which doesn't make them any better or worse than you are.

Truth #7: "You don't look the same as when we first met."

Your partner may not see you the way they did when they first met you. You might have gained or lost weight or have aged differently than expected.

You may have changed mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well. You're also probably less physically active than before. All of these factors can affect how you look—and that's okay! People change.

Truth #8: "We each need to spend some time away from each other now and then."

It's not just you. Everyone gets bored sometimes, even if you are the most exciting person. The same goes for us: we each need to spend some time away from each other now and then. We all need downtime to refresh ourselves.

Our relationship is stronger when we have a life outside of it.

It's healthy to maintain your interests outside of your partner, whether playing sports, going out with friends, or making you happy.

Truth #9: "I am turned off by your morning breath."

Morning breath is a problem many people face, but it's something you can avoid with proper dental hygiene. Bacteria in the mouth cause morning breath, and it can be an immediate turn-off for your partner if you're not careful.

To avoid this embarrassing situation, use mint-flavored toothpaste before bed and brush your teeth thoroughly with fluoride toothpaste once you wake up.A minty fresh breath is a great way to start your morning!

By Diana Polekhina on Unsplash

If this sounds too time-consuming for you (and let's face it does), don't worry! It's not necessarily an indication that you have lousy hygiene—it's just that your body naturally produces more of these bacteria when you're asleep at night.

Truth #10: "I get bored during intercourse sometimes."

If you're lucky enough to have a lover in your life who will tell it like it is, then hopefully, they've already told you that sex isn't always going to be a fireworks show.

Sometimes it's just going to be decent, and that's okay! The important thing is to keep trying new things together until something clicks for you.

It might take time and experimentation before you find what works best for both of your bodies, but there's no reason why the journey should be boring or unfulfilling along the way.

Your partner has secrets, but keeping them isn't always for the best.

Secrets don't do anyone any good. We're not talking about big stuff here—like cheating on your partner or hiding money from them—but we are talking about everyday things like eating poorly and getting lost in social media when you should be spending time together.

And while those may seem minor compared to some of the other things people keep secret, they can impact your relationship.

Bottom line.

If you're open with your lover about things bothering you, the relationship will remain fresh. Be vulnerable, and if they can't handle that, then maybe they aren't your partner at all.

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About the Creator

Christian Nissi

Hi, I'm Christian. Writing is a great way to express myself creatively and share my thoughts with the world. I work hard to produce high-quality content that engages my readers. When I'm not writing, my family and friends keep me busy.

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