1 + X = L

It has been three years since they both parted ways after what seemed like an eternity. The distance was decent but when feelings are heavy everything drags.

It took time for her to be okay with herself again; it took time for her to be okay with the new changes and seeing things from a different perspective. It took time for her, she had to skip testing the water of being by herself and just jump right in.

Three years have passed, she has cried, she laughed, she rejoices at each event, and each road trip. She rejoices at every new opportunity.

As the days, weeks and months past by, she became more comfortable with herself. She eventually started smiling so effortlessly and started to feel the sunshine down again.

It's been three years since she has been her partner. She became her own best friend.

It has been three years that she has learned and mastered skills, grown as a person, gained new friends, experience new things, saw different parts of the world, got new hobbies, got rid of some hobbies, saw her favorite artists and many more. She unleashed that inner part of herself that she locked out so deep inside that she had forgotten about its existent.

Its been three years and now she starts to question herself, why is it that she still is hasn't figured out the meaning of X.

The guy that was part of her life three years ago has started and ended equations. Yet the girl can't help to think to herself why hasn't she found the other part of her equation. Why is it so hard to find the meaning of X?

Is it because she knows what is best for her or is it because she's too afraid to go through that pain again?

Within those three years, the first year it was hard but little did she know it would all go back to how it used to be. Little did she know her tears would eventually dry up and she wouldn't need a reason to say, "Sorry, my allergies are acting up."

Time helped her along the way, it allowed her to heal and learn.

It took her time to realize how this equation wasn't equipped to be the answer. It wasn't the right key no matter how many times they tried to make it work. It was her plus him but in parenthesis, there was this toxic-masculinity, a manipulative, narcissistic green-eyed guy with a great smile and with the set of right things to say whenever it was convenient, x2.

In the end, it was her plus all of that toxic masculinity, fractured self-esteem and lacking the sense of independence that she didn't catch up on until the end. The girl was heartbroken, not for losing the guy but instead, she was heartbroken for allowing herself to be blind for so long that she forgot to love her self.

This is one of the easiest yet hardest equation people have and will go through. X, it is not just a simple letter to the equation but it is so much more than that. It will be part of her life, memories, smiles, experiences, happy and not so happy tears. The road to X can have so many paths leading up to it or it can be right in front of her. She could have found X a long time ago and hasn't gotten the chance to put two and two together or maybe it has yet to come. It's hard to tell when and where but time will well. X can be anything and anyone, that is why she'll need time to figure out 1 + x = L.