The Man and His Routine

Oh how The Man did enjoy life; each morning a clear summer sky he could see, a perfect setting for his simple breakfast meal of two crispy bacon strips, an egg and a slice of fried bread. To stab his fork in to a piece of bacon, then the white of his egg, and finally some of the fried bread – which had a hint of bacon itself, as it was fried in the bacon fat left behind in the pan – brought such a joy to the man, as he truly loved his breakfast, which he had each and every morning. And after each breakfast would come his daily routine, a simple one yet he cherished it so: first he would go to walk around the neighbourhood, often greeting many a familiar face; secondly, he would watch television, oh how he would laugh at comedy, edge on his seat at thriller, and so on; then lastly came simple, but vital, task—sleep.

This day was different however, for he had ran out of bacon for his breakfast! ‘No worries,’ The Man thought to himself in a calm manner, ‘I will simply not have bacon this day.’ And so he had a fried egg on a fried slice of bread, not as joyous as his usual breakfast meals, but it served.

Next would come his walk. A nice walk would usually do him well, regardless of minor breakfast troubles, but alas today it rained heavily and the wind blew and blew, certainly it would have carried any kite you wished to take out, never to be seen again. This was a day The Man would go without a walk. He would instead have more time to watch the television, which he did love to do, but he seen found a sadness in that too as the wind had blown off his satellite dish, and he would not be able to watch any show or movie this day. ‘Oh well,’ he thought, mostly calm but slightly agitated, ‘I will simply neither walk nor watch television today, and get some extra sleep.’

That was what he aimed to do, but the wind blew harshly still, creating a high whistling against the windows, and thunder as loud as explosives began as well! He did not sleep that night at all, how could anyone with such loud noise? The day had been very bothersome indeed.

The next day began clouded, and yet again with a breakfast problem; there was no bacon, and no eggs! ‘So be it!’ The Man thought angrily, having to breathe gently to force his calmness, ‘I shall only have bread this day!’ His fried bread was special today, for it a face, asymmetrical in nature with both eyes completely different in shape and size. This amused The Man, as he had not intended this. To his astonishment, it spoke to him: ‘what do you have outside your routine?’ it asked. The question he found confusing, stressful to think of even, and so he threw away his fried bread, ‘I shall not eat this day.’

A walk was next to do, and there was neither rain nor wind, and so he could walk just as he would on any other day. Though that question stuck in his mind on a loop, what did he have besides his routine? ‘Surely my friends?’ The Man asked himself. So he tried to prove this as he would see many a familiar face on his walks, but each looked at him a stranger and appeared discomforted by his greetings and advancements to make conversation. ‘None? No one?’ This was when he began to realise he knew none of the names, and the reverse was just as likely.

Getting home, he did not watch the television that evening, he simply stared blankly at his TV and dwelled further on the question his fried bread had asked of him. The Man dwelled for hours, unwittingly skipping bedtime, knowing he had only when sunrise poured through the window.

‘No bacon, no eggs, no bread,’ The Man had guessed already, still staring at his television. He got up not until he would usually and gone to bed, and walked out his house, until finding one ditch of water and leaves. Muddy and unclean, but still The Man decided he needed a swim.

He did not know how to swim, and knew full well he would not learn to do so; he wanted to drown, and so he did.