Rhonda

My sister Rhonda passed away at the young age of 27. She left behind her a 7 year old daughter and her husband. She was always quite healthy and competitive in sports when we were young and in school, but her life ran away with her as she was married at 19 and had her child at 20.

In our family we seem to have something dark that follows family member to family member taking them when it can. I have no name for it as it remains in the shadows unless you are in its sight. It latches onto family members when they are captured in the throes of drinking themselves to death. I myself have tried to remain sober for most of my life which at trying times was a struggle, but mostly I think I have a great love of life that just kept grabbing at me if I even thought of getting away, or maybe it was something else from the light.

When we were growing up, Rhonda did well academically as we all did, and she also loved sports which we all didn't. She'd join teams of all kinds and competed on the provincial level in gymnastics; she was lean, strong and beautiful. While she was still in junior high school, she had picked her career focus as a veterinarian as she loved animals, in particular, her dog Skippy. I know Skippy doesn't seem like a dog name if you loved animals, but we were all kids. She actually named him Skipper, but it changed naturally to Skippy or Skip. Skippy deserves his own story. I'd love to write about some of his adventures when he'd make a run for it and come back later that night or the next day, but I'll stick to my sister's story for today.

If you can remember back to your junior high school days, grade nine, before you headed to high school, you will remember the year books with your classmates' scrawls to you, so you'd remember them forever. I don't seem to have a copy of my sister's, but I'll bet she was one of those most likely to succeed. When she did move onto high school, she also got a job at McDonald's and had great friends. Her life did seem to be moving along the path she wanted to go.

I don't really remember either when she met her to-be-husband, but he was older than I was, so I thought it a strange pairing. I am the oldest in the family, and she was the youngest with 7 years between us. When she was dating him, it seemed to be an on again and off again relationship. I remember them breaking up then getting back together again and then finally she moved in with him when she was but 17. They did get married when she was 19 as well but their relationship was a rocky one.

I believe this is when the tide had turned for my sister. She no longer had her set out goals that she was going to accomplish or her own interests that she excelled at. She was young and beautiful and that is what her husband wanted. Everyone went along with the flow of life as she next had a baby girl whom we all adored. I still visited my sister, and she and her husband still fought and even in marriage, separated.

In this separation her husband had secured a transfer to another province, and my sister only found out as they were reconciling. So with this new transfer they started to pack up their belongings and get ready for the big move. There was a lot of back and forth as he got them a house in their new province in the country. They were lucky they were going to move into a log cabin type of a home on their own acreage. At her young age she already had what is many a young woman's dream. Even I felt envious of her position as I was always struggling myself.

After the move my sister would phone my mother and myself and tell us she was lonely, and she'd sometimes start crying on the phone. She was really isolated with no family or friends. She started to make some eventually, but she also started to drink quite heavily. We didn't know how much as we weren't around. My mom, my daughter and myself and one of my brothers went out to see her at different times and then it became apparent that she drank daily and until she passed out on most days.

On my visit to see her it was great to see her place. It really was a wonderful place. It was quite large and had a huge garden. I didn't understand at the time why she was so unhappy, but now I think it was all her dreams unfulfilled and her isolation.

We really had a nice visit with her as we went into the town nearby and into the city once as well. A couple of the nights we had a big fire outside, and it was so nice doing that as my daughter and I lived in an apartment, so no fires for us. It was nice to sit under the starry night and talk by the firelight. My daughter and my niece were winding down as all they did was run around the garden and acreage all day. We all had a good time before settling in for the night. I remember my feeling was that I didn't want the day to end but finally with the kids getting sleepy, I thought it best to hit the sack as well as they would be up bright eyed and bushy tailed.

During Rhonda's phone calls to my mother and I, she said that something was outside at night because the dogs would all start barking in a frenzy; this usually happened around 3 am. I didn't really think about this much until we were all awakened to the dogs barking like crazy outside that night. I got up from the bed and went out into the living room and could see my sister was already up and looking out the window safely behind her curtains.

I moved quietly over to her and whispered, "What's out there?" She whispered back, "I don't know, but it comes almost every night." We both stood there listening but hearing nothing, but the dogs. I whispered, "When we hear the dogs getting closer, I'll turn on the outdoor lights quickly." So she nodded and I moved closer to the door where the lights were. When I got there, we both just looked at each other and then back outside. It was so dark that we could not see anything like that anyhow and once the dogs started up again, I quickly flicked the lights on. I did not see anything except the tall grass. My sister said too she did not see anything. We left the lights on for a bit before shutting them down and going back to bed. As far as I know she never saw anything outside at night. We also thought maybe her husband was coming around trying to scare her, but we'd have seen his vehicle or anyone's for that matter on the road. She'd also called him sometimes; since he worked nights many times, he'd be at work when it was happening.

As all good things, our visit came to its end, and my daughter and I came back to our city. I asked my sister to come, but she didn't want to. It was hard to leave her as she started to cry when we were pulling out and I felt tears coming too. I knew she wasn't happy there, so I didn't know why she'd stay. I still don't know why she did, but I guess we don't always know everything.

I know my brother went to see her later that same year and he ended up staying with her for a few months during fall and winter before returning. He said too she was drinking a lot. I think he was trying to help her, but he had to come back to work too.

On my mom's visit to my sister the same thing was happening with something coming at night outside in the grass. My sister was at the point where she just ignored it because it always happened. The other strange thing my mom said was an old barn owl was coming to the window all the time and seemed like it was looking in. It did that a lot on her visit, but she said she didn't think to do anything about it. My mother believes the owl was waiting for my sister.

My sister was found in her bath tub at home by her husband. I could never say if the barn owl was seen again or not, but we do think it was waiting for her to pass on from this world. I do believe the dark thing was around her as well as I think that was what came every night to her. I've had two other siblings who have seen or heard this dark thing, and one is still alive and kicking as he doesn't drink anymore and the other has passed on as well.