Nancy

Nancy,

Oh my Nancy,

You were much too much for me,

yet

not enough.

I loved you, yes, very true, but

You flew away from me—

It was quite abrupt.

I should’ve known when I first

Saw you,

Climbing the high school fence,

I woke up from the everlasting dream, finally,

Love caught my heart, & I had no defense.

I stood back and felt

Your distant light shining like a Star,

So illuminating

And ghostly and dreamy,

I could not reach it,

it was too far.

You let me in,

Nancy, and yet I tried to be

Someone who was patient,

For I could truly see(unlike anyone else)

That wonderful beam of spunk that you were,

And I hoped you could also see, between us,

I was trying to infer.

You yelled as you started the climb, “Let me reach the top of this Redwood, dear, it won’t take very long,”

And I shook my head, and furrowed my brow,

Cause; Nancy—-you were too headstrong.

I should’ve said, no, I should’ve

Stopped you

From trying to make that daring climb—-

But my darling, intense Nancy,

It was only our first dream date, Nancy

And

You were not yet mine.(was this date in my mind?)

I kept whistling to calm my nerves,

Nancy, watching you up that high,

My nerves were twisted,

So I whistled it,

Denying your mortality

For the sake my love, divine.

We shuffled from our picnic spot

To have a drop of Merlot,

But then you asked me for a race, and you laughed for I was

much too slow.

I saw your spirit dip and bend,

Unlike the massive Redwood tree,

and

I noticed you had that same spunky spirit

As that girl from Nightmare on Elm Street 1 and 3,

Nancy—-that day you had unleashed

my insanity.

I always loved her,

I mean you,

Nancy,

I drew her up in my dreams,

In my sheets and on my pillow,

Kissing you

Under searing sun beams.

Until that last first dream date,

You talked to me for hours and hours,

Of your passions and fears and worries,

And of how you were feeling sour,

But I knew it wasn’t because of me,

I saw it in your eyes,

You had a free spirit to match your spunk,

It (our love) was a theory I conceptualized.

I might’ve had a nightmare long ago,

That sank my heart and made it race,

But then I reshaped it each night

That turned it into your sweet face.

I didn’t obsess about her(you) long,

Cause that’s when I found out the truth,

And Nancy, when we spilled that Merlot,

Darling,

It got all

Over

You.

Too much red, I said.

Too much for me indeed.

That climb was much too high, my dear,

It was the worst of all ideas to plant—-a very evil seed.

I never thought you ever

Wanted me, really, Nancy, for

Your hair had just turned a little white,

And terror struck your beautiful face,

That once was full of delight.

I never really liked the color red,

Anyway Nancy,

Though that rich Merlot you took to, you seemed to embrace,

It was a bit funny we spilled it all,

We never got to have more than one taste.

I cleaned up that

Silky red Merlot that covered

The woods all red, mangled in

Flesh and dirt and bright eyes—-

And then we kissed, I do believe—-

Because Nancy, you had fallen,

Landing on me

And now

I am dead.