Last Train to ERGO

I was searching for that look, that morsel, that hint of a chance, that look the jackpot. No, no , no, maybe, NO, nope, nada, nit, nah, nay, maybe, ooh maybe. I sit down trying not to let my heart stop from the wonderlust that is the game with no name, my game, the game you only talk about to God at night to stop you from playing but, it is she that wills you on. A snap reels my head back into the present as I stumble into the seat trying not to buffoon animal myself too much.

It is shy but god damn its eyes are pretty, I am lost in a sudden feeling of love and remorse for something so pertinent it couldn’t be. I sit there trying not to fall in love at that very moment. She looks cold even though the train was sweltering and the rhythmic movements are making her lull almost into sleepdom. She looks at me with a sense of innocence and pleading and I can’t help it.

‘Hello babe. Wanna drink?’

She looks startled as if asked by God her bra size, but then her eyes light up when I produce the Peronis from my bag.

‘Oh, yes please!’

I crack the top cupping my hand round the bottles neck and using my lighter to pop the cap. She looks impressed but doesn’t want to show it.

‘What takes you to ERGO, then?’

‘I’m going to find my mum, I know she lives there somewhere and I’m not going to stop until I find her.’

She sighs heavily and I can see she is worried, sketching and tripping at the same time.

‘You OK?’ My third sense is tingling.

‘No, I saw some fucked-up shit tonight, men and women biting each other. That’s why I got off the street and got on the train. I want to curl up under a cover and ignore the world.’

Fuck it’s happening, I think. I know due to my dreams that this was coming.

‘We need to move down the train!’

‘Why? We are safe, nothing is on the train.’

‘Don’t bet on it!’

As I say this the gaggling girls at the end of the carriage come to a crescendo of ‘Caroline’

Bad vibes. As I look down the train I see fate coming through the doors.

He is manic and fast, the girls have no chance. He jolts as the train turns and he falls into the bride to be. It is a millisecond before I hear the knowing scream.

I saw this and premonised it through my ability. She screams They all scream. He is onto the next within a second. The two sitting across from him grab his hair and start punching but his strength is too much for them.

He elbows one in the face breaking her nose with a crack that reverberates down the train and turns and sinks his teeth into the fourth girl’s neck. A gargled scream comes as he rips out her trachea. The girl whose nose broke is screaming, he has the trachea in his mouth, takes it out then bites her face. An almighty scream echoes down the carriage. Finally he is done with the four and looks down the train at me.

I can see the hate, hunger and violence in his eyes. His mouth and face are covered in the blood of his victims and he is chewing the trachea he has replaced in his mouth like chewing gum.

I have to think quickly, my life and my love’s is in my hands and wit. I can hear the girls crying and shouting for help but it is too late for them now. My love is just staring, mouth open in shock so I grab the Peroni bottle off her and pull her behind me. I know the best way to kill a zombie is to destroy the brain. No easy task but I have a plan. Just as he gathers himdelf to sprint towards me I smash the two Peroni bottles together. At least now I have viable weapons.

I stare into it’s eyes and gauge its velocity. I have about three seconds to decide how to play this. With my nameless love behind me I can’t dodge and trip him so I ready myself, putting my left foot slightly behind me. When he is within striking distance I flick my ankle to the side and release a NEO-like kick to the chest.

I feel his ribs crack with the impact and he is down. No time to think. I jump on his gargling discombobulated body, kneeling on both of his arms and pinning him to the ground.

The bastard is strong and he lifts me off the ground while I look into his straining eyes. As I am about to topple off him I strike with both bottles in both eye sockets. Blood squirts out and a weird pop is audible from the eyes bursting which leaves a mess on my hands.

With that his strength is gone and the body flop to the deck. I breathe heavily, the adrenaline coursing through my body. I wipe off the blood and ooze onto his tracksuit and get up. I turn to see my nameless peeking out from behind a chair, it feels good to see her face.

‘Right we don’t have long and god knows what’s going to happen to the driver once these zombies turn.’

‘ZOMBIES?’ she says, startled.

‘Yes ZOMBIES’ I reply, ‘we need to find a weapon and I think I know where.’

‘But why zombies?’ she asks and to be honest, she is starting to get on my nerves.

‘I don’t know but you saw what he did to those women: just bit them and moved on. If they are not zombies they are fucked up and we need to be safe or at least have something to fend them off with.’

‘OK!’ She sounds more resolute.

We are in the last carriage of the train already, but I know where on every train there is an axe. A throwback gesture but by one door in each carriage, normally the last, there is always an axe to break the doors open if there is trouble or a fire on the train.

I pick up my bag and pull my nameless with me as we sprint down the carriage. The train jolts and we both clatter to the floor. A small shriek comes from my love but I am silent, like an assassin. I grab a rail, haul myself up and then her and carry on down the carriage.

We arrive at the doors to the driver’s cabin and the final doors of the train. There, red as anything that normally signifies danger but at this point sounds salvation, is the axe. At normal length it is around 26 inches long, and breathed brutality. Knowing the tempered glass is hard to break I hang on to the overhead rail, swing with the motion of the train and unleash a powerful kick. The glass shatters but did not fully break.

No time to fuck around. I think a donkey kick will do the trick. I quickly flip round and hold onto the wall and fire my next kick.

This time I hear an audible crack and feel good about it. I turn, look at it and see the glass is fully broken and the axe accessible. I elbow the last vestiges of glass out of the way, cover my hands with my coat and reach in and grab the axe. Holding it I feel slightly safer, somewhat badass with a massive dose of shit-scared.

I have to think fast, I don’t know how long it will take for the women to turn. Fuck it. I need to close the door I can probably handle the women but a whole train of these monstrosities is too much. I told my love to ‘stay where you are and don’t move, I’ve got to lock the train door.’

With that I grab two more Peronis from my bag and hand them to her.

‘Take these and break them if something goes wrong, then aim for the eyes.’

She takes the bottles and looks more scared than anyone I have ever seen. I want to hold her and tell her it will be alright but there was no time.

‘When this is all over I’ll take you for something to eat.’

She smiles and sat down on a seat as I ran down the train. I have the axe to the ready just in case the girls turned. As I get to them, they were frantically administering CPR to the girl without the trachea. I admire their wish to save their friend, but it is way too late for her and for them.

I get to the door and shut it. I peer through the glass window at the next carriage. I can see blood on the floor, legs twitching and one pair of arms flailing. Oddly, I hear no noise. Fuck this, I thought I don’t have long. The only way to lock the door is to use my belt.

I whip it off and as I did so my trousers fell down. Fuck, my ex was right, I always did buy jeans that are too big. I feel ridiculous but time is of the essence. I pull and fight to get my jeans off then attach the belt to the door handle then attach that to the nearest plastic seat handle. I bind the door shut, it won’t open fully now but there is still a gap. Knowing the strength of these creatures it will hold them off for a time but won’t last forever. I start back down the train, wishing this was a dream.

I run past the girls who have stopped administering CPR and are now quiet. Shit, I think, not long now. As I run down the carriage a crackling sound come over the intercom.

‘FUCK, FUCK to anyone still alive on this train hold on, I have informed the police of what is happening and…’

With that I hear a crash over the intercom and the line goes dead. As it does so the train speeds up. Great, now I’m straddling the film Speed and 28 Days Later.

Now, back with my love I stop for a second, just staring at her. She looks at me in my pants and smiles a small but beautiful smile. Her eyes blink slowly and she looks me square in the eyes and straight into my heart. Her eyes are green and blue with a hint of grey and in this light some sparkle. It is like staring at the beauty of the world. As much as I want to kiss her, now is definitely not the moment.

I rack my brains thinking what can I do, we must be over half way to ERGO by now and the train is careering along with, to my knowledge, no driver.

I jump up, the Eureka moment sends tingles down my spine. Rip the emergency stop chord and stop this bastard. I have done it once before but not at this speed, I don’t know if the train will derail. But I have to try. I look around the doors for the chord but it wasn’t there. FUCK. Maybe it’s further down the carriage.

To my love I bark:‘Get in a seat and brace yourself, this could get bumpy.’

Off, back up the carriage towards silent horror I run. I get to the mid-section and see the chord, the second best thing I have seen all day. I smash the Perspex with the axe head but as I am about to pull I hear her.

It is a strange sound, a scream not guttural but gurgling with overtones of vehemence. It is the girl without the trachea. I thought she’d be first to turn. The inner narcissist never truly goes: as she gets up she looks at herself in the reflection of the window. Her head tips to the side and she adjusts her hair. She turns to me, ripping off her sash and removing her stilettos, teeth glaring, eyes transfixed and hair matted in blood but somewhat groomed.

I cannot pull the chord in time so I steady myself. I take the axe handle in both hands, my right elbow slightly raised, I am ready for her.

She stares at me, she can’t run cos her dress is too tight so quick steps towards me. She is mouthing something but without a trachea and vocal chords nothing comes out and, anyway, I am shit at lip reading.

With her arms outstretched and hands clasping the air with her long nails I am worried about being scratched. I don’t know how the infection transmits itself and don’t want to take any risks.

The moment arrives : her alarmingly long arms ae almost at my throat. But I am ready, I snap the axe head forward and straight into her mouth. It crunches as it knocks out her teeth, knocking her backwards to the floor. Her eyes roll around, however she is unfazed at my dentistry.

She sits upright and starts to get up, her arms holding onto the seats either side of her for leverage. NOW I wield the axe deftly raising it and thwacking straight down onto the top of her head. Her body goes limp and her eyes faze out.

The axe was lodged so far into her cranium that I have to push her body with my foot and yank the axe out.

The train is still hurtling along and there is a real chance of it derailing at this speed. But even if that doesn’t happen by some miracle we will still be fucked when we reach the end of the line at ERGO. I smash the Perspex glass with the axe, hold onto the vertical rail and shout to my love

‘HOLD ON!’

With that, I pull the chord. An almighty screech erupts from beneath us as the brakes chew into the speeding wheels. The force of the stop make me loose my grip on the rail and I fall backwards into a seat then onto the floor.

The impact has winded me, I lie there for a moment, catching my breath. As I do this the second girl who I have not seen coming runs and jumps straight over me. I watch her outstretched leg passing over me in slow motion as her propulsion carries her over my field of vision and I see up her skirt, she has no knickers on.

My misogynistic mind can’t help it and for only a split second I thought about how much I want to pleasure what I must say was a sexy-looking labia even if it was a zombie’s.

FUCK SAKE I think to myself as I sprang to my feet. The zombie is fast approaching my love, I don’t know if she is ok following the emergency stop, she could be unconscious for all I knew. I had no choice as I would not be able to catch her now.

Just as I am about to aim the axe I notice she is running down the train in high heels. My mind is slightly blown at this impressive circus-like ability.

I aim the axe pointing at her with my left hand arching my right arm back. I throw it with such force I feel my shoulder tweak. I watch in awe as the axe spins beautifully down the carriage as if it has a homing beacon on this bitches’ back.

I hear the sound of ribs breaking and she is down. I run towards her and my love and can see the bitch was still moving, just crawling towards my goddess.

But before I can get to her my love truly becomes a goddess of war. I see her lift the zombies head by the hair and with viscous speed repeatedly stabs its right eye socket. The effect on the hair of being a zombie makes it weak, either that or the bitches’ hair is brittle.

My goddess rises to her feet with a clump of blonde hair in her left hand and a broken Peroni bottle in her right. I get to her slightly out of breath as I am still recovering from being winded. Again the axe was stuck in her ribs so hard I have to pull with considerable might while holding the carcass down with my foot. I look up, straight into those worldly eyes.

‘Well done!’ I exclaim but this praise is short lived.

‘WATCH OUT BEHIND YOU!’

My goddess moves out of the way and into a seat alcove and I half turn only to be rugby-tackled by the third and definitely the biggest of the four.

No slow motion this time which, to be honest would have been useful. She slams me into the driver’s door at the back of the train with such force I hear the wood crack. The axe had fallen to the floor and I am weapon-less.

I see her huge mouth opening to get a bite and react without thinking. I punch her in the jaw with my right fist. She is knocked backwards and It is the most ironic thing of this whole fucked up experience.

My ring which has the emblem for the tree of life on it had imprinted the symbol on her chin. TREE OF LIFE - DEAD WOMAN – SHUT UP! I rain punches to her head: left - right – left, then following through the motions one hit to the solar plexus and a final upper-cut that lands in between her neck and throat.

It is a good punch and knocks her back into one of the seats. This is my chance. I grab the axe handle and swing it round towards her head. It is the perfect shot only it was the blunt end of the head.

Her colossal orb tilts with the force and her neck snaps. Her tongue is hanging limply out of her mouth and she looks like something out of the Ring or whatever that horror movie is where the girl’s neck breaks and she is still alive and looks like a falling tree.

Stop thinking about horror movies, you’re in one: the force of the hit has propelled the axe backwards. I catch it with my left hand, quickly flick the axe 180 degrees and swing at the fat bitche’s head.

The twisted bitch is just getting off the seat but is too late for her, the axe connects with her right ear and lodges in her brain. Now she really does fall like a tree, straight into the window with a huge thump that made the carriage wobble slightly.

Three nil. I was feeling cocky, when maths gets the better of me, there’s four of them. This time the axe slides out quickly and I ready myself to launch down the train to save my love. Just as I do I see her standing there, covered in blood and my heart sinks.

‘NOOOOOOO!’ I shout as I run towards her.

She looks at me and smiled: ‘Don’t worry it’s not my blood.’

I reach her to see the fourth girl’s head has been caved in, split like a melon, brains visible on the floor.

‘WHAT THE FUCK? HOW DID YOU…?’

‘Shhhhhh’ she interjects. She walks over to me and holds my face with her hands. She looks up into my eyes, smiles her crooked smile and kisses me. As she does I drop the axe, wrap my arms around her and now we kiss. It is hot and passionate but not to last.

I hear a bang from down the carriage. Another one of those things is trying to get through the doors and I didn’t know how long my belt could last. We stopped kissing. I am really pissed off now.

FUCK THIS! I pick up the axe with my right hand and took my love’s with my left. We hurry down the train to the last doors past the obelisk that is now the fat bitch.

‘Give me a second’ I say pushing my love to the side.

I know that if you levered the doors just right I can crack it open and we could slip through but it would close after us like the doors on the tube. My misspent youth was useful after all. I use the axe head to split the crack in the doors and lever it open, grunting with the strain. I produce a crack big enough to get your hand through and shout:

‘QUICK GRAB THE DOOR!’

She takes the right door, I took the left. We heave and the doors opened enough for us to get through.

‘Ladies first’ I chuckle, winking at her. She slips through the crack and jumps off the train. I am struggling but keep the doors just open enough to fling myself through. I fall the five feet down to the ground which really bloody hurts.

The doors’ mechanisms fire up and they shut. We are free of those fucking creatures/zombies whatever they are.

My love straddle me there on the ground, in between the train tracks. I look into her eyes, they are lit by the moon. There is something odd about them but this opportunity is too good to miss. I have earned this. I cup her face in my hands and plant a kiss straight on her lips.

She responds and for a moment we speak in tongues. She bites my lip playfully once, then bites my lip off. It is bizarre. I feel no pain. In fact it feels good. I couldn’t help thinking to myself:

technically I am getting her something to eat…….