Free Bird

My days usually ran like clockwork. I woke up at the same time everyday, 6:30 a.m. I got breakfast ready, and then I would get my siblings up, and ready for school, Sebastian and Dominic, they were twins and could be a little chaotic if you don't have the right tone. My dad was always the first out, but he never failed to make sure he left me some coffee on the burner. He worked in the maritime business cooking meals for the workers on the ships you would see sitting off on the Atlantic coast. My mom left us when I was 13 so for the past four years I have been playing the woman of the house and raising my brothers, and helping my dad find a balance. I don't mind helping out my dad, I could only imagine what he would do if I wasn't around.

Once the boys were fed and their lunches were made I would walk with them to their bus stop while each one pull my arms in opposite directions and I take in every little detail of why they shouldn’t have to go to school. I explained to them every morning about how they are the hope for our family and if they didn’t go to school they wouldn’t be able to take care of me. Everytime I would say that they would both squeeze me tight until their bus came. I promised to pick them up, the same time as always and got ready to head back home.

Usually after I drop the boys off I would head in the oposite direction for my morning jog. It gave me an excuse to get my favorite danish from this diner not to far frommy house. This piece of heaven was made within this puff pastry with homemade cream cheese and this mango, strawberry chutney. It has to be one of my most favorite treats since I was young. It reminded me of the last day of school when school would let out for summer break and you had two whole months to do absolute nothing. This is what I looked forward to. I didn't have to worry about school, breakfast, the boys, or dad. I just had to worry about how fast I needed to run to get to my danish.

I took off for my run and made it there in record time. I went in and the usual soft sound of classic rock was playing on this old antique juke box in the back corner. The owner Martha always knew what I wanted so while she was bagging my goodies I would walk over to the juke box and put a quarter in to play Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Ever since I heard it playing this one time I came here to study, it has always stuck to me and I had to listen to it everytime I came in.

Martha came over and gave me my danish and told me it was on the house this time. I happily accepted and walked the rest of the way back to the house. That's pretty much how the start of my morning goes everyday, the same way. When I looked in my bag I noticed she gave me two this time with a note saying " You got here quicker than usual, treat yourself sweetie".

When I got home I straightened up the house, paid the bills for dad and began prepping for dinner. I went online for two of my classes and then watched some investigation tv before taking a nap. My alarm screamed for me to go get the boys, they panic when they don’t see me right away, separation anxiety I guess. When I got to the bus stop, Sebastian and Dominic were standing there patiently as usual. They were such good boys to be so young and to think I had something to do with that. When they saw me they both ran to me and gave me the biggest hugs and I surprised them with the extra danish Martha had given me earlier.

As soon as we got home I made sure the boys showered and started their homework before dad got home for dinner. The afternoons into the evenning is usually lack luster as the morning. We all have a routine and we just work together to get it done. It wasn't and isn't always easy but we are perfecting it, but by we I mean I have perfected them to have a routine, I am just trying to fit my life into theirs. It can be tough trying to be this great daughter and sister while still trying to take care of my obligations as a young adult.

Dad arrived home and took over finishing up dinner while the boys attacked him with how their days went. I started packing up my books and my dad asked me where I was going. I told him I was going to Martha’s to study for my last two finals. I started to head out and he insisted I ate dinner with them first. I told dad how I would have loved to but I needed to make sure I passed these two classes this semester or I couldn't enroll in my program by next fall. As usual he would tell me not to stress, everything would come together. He also said that last year and I found myself having to retake these same to classes again. Dad sat me at the table and obviuosly wouldn't take no for an answer. he boys were getting rowdy from the sugar I fed them and the typical hunger pains of an overactive digestion system that young boys have. Dad plugged up his ipod and my favorite song from the diner comes on, Free Bird. Dad is getting into the melody as he finishes up dinner, the boys fight over who is sitting next to daddy, and I still have so much work to do. I tune out.

I got to Martha’s late, I would say a little after midnight, usually around this time it dies down and you mainly see Door Dash or Uber drivers coming in and out. I sat at my usual station near the juke box, playing that same classic rock. There was no one in the diner but I assume the workers were getting ready for the night shift. I began to set up and decided I wanted my coffee first. I rang the bell at the counter and no one came. I rang it again, still no one so I sat back down. My dad didn't text me telling me to be careful like he usually does. I started looking through my material when I then heard a loud thump from a distance like It was coming from the back of the diner. “Never ask whose there” is what I told myself. I heard a thump again and I started putting my things back in my bag. The sounds began to come more intense and faintly louder. I began making my way back to the front of the diner, and half way to the front door someone calls my name, “Shannan, please stay where you are sweetie, I'm getting you help?”

I see a shadow coming from the back hallway reflecting off the counter. Something told me to run and as I am running outside I run past a delivery driver. I told him I didn’t think he should go in as I’m running to my car, but my car wasn't there. "Did I walk here?" I asked myself. . As the driver is standing at the entrance I see a shock look on the driver's face asking me if I was ok. Martha runs out and screams for me to please not leave, then I hear her on the phone like she is talking to a operator. A few employees are looking out the window, and the driver ask me if I am hurt. I look at him and I become disoriented and everything turns to black as Free Bird comes back on the juke box.

Eventually I wake up and I find myself in an all white, brightly lit, padded room. The one window I have, I couldn’t see out of but it always seemed like it was daylight to me due to the harassment of light fixtures possessing this room. A doctor comes in, usually during any visitation, I am tied to a gurney and asked how I am feeling and if I can tell them what happened the night of August 11th. I began to recall the night at the diner but I was told to talk about what happened before I got to the diner. I was confused with vague images of the night me and my family sat down for dinner.

He asked me again if I can tell him what happened. I felt myself began to cry, I didn’t want to talk to about it, it wasn’t real to me. The doctor began telling me how I murdered my twin brothers and father. I then tried to dispose of their bodies but I stopped half way through. I ended up at Martha’s diner later that evening like I often did. I asked for danish from the pastry case and stared at the juke box in a trance only this time covered in blood. Martha called the police, when she realized that I was covered in blood after taking my order.

"We have someone who wants to see ou", he proceeds to tell me. I asked who, and he tells me it is my mom. “My mommy is back?” I asked him feeling my smile spread from ear to ear. He repeats that they got in contact with my next of kin and they were able to find her, she came right away. I can feel myself getting excited but the restraints were holding me down. The doctor got up and opened the door and I saw her, and she looked just as I remembered. She had a look of horror on her face. Not the look a mom would give if she missed her only daughter. She had a look of fear. The beads of tears I felt were running down her cheeks and she screamed at me “why?!”, “why did you do this Shannan?!”. Her anger made me feel cathartic and I just simply responded “to bring you back”.