Clinging Spirits

I don’t know where it came from or how it came, but it was there suddenly in my lonely life visiting me constantly. It was a rock holding me down making my steps heavier and heavier, prohibiting my progress, and making my time a meaningless flight into the unknown. I found myself talking to myself when disturbed and listening to it in my dreams whenever those rainy days showed up unexpectedly. I was staying up all night with shadows dancing around me as they played with my mind while recollecting moments of melancholy not far from the past.

For the most part, it would sit on my couch all night long while I watched television. I could see it through the reflection every time the TV went dark, transitioning between commercials. For some reason, it never scared me. It was my company and it complemented my melancholy and loneliness perfectly.

Sleep paralysis would sometime occur, taking away massive amounts of sleep. My performance at work was completely devastated. My boss started to notice something was wrong.

It had friends too. They came to visit during my episodes of sleep paralysis. Many times I would wake up and see them walking around my bed while I could not move. I was only able to hear my self breathe behind the vibrating explosions all around me. As if these things, emitted vibrations. Maybe, they emit a vibration that only people under sleep paralysis can hear. They do say that sleep paralysis victims are Astro gliding, and the spiritual world can be filled with vibrations. Anyway…

It revealed itself with a black suit with a white shirt decorated with a black tie. It had a nasty-pale-jagged face, sharp cheekbones. He had a wide smile with teeth that needed work. They were almost yellow. His eyes were always wide open and had no irises. They were as white can be with black spooky pupils in the middle of them. It was a balding entity with some hair on each side. The only hair it had spiked out of his head and looked very dirty. It was greyish in color. He looked wickedly and maliciously evil.

How I got the details? Well, every time I sat withering away in front of the TV on substances and alcohol, I would stare at it through the TV. If I turned to the couch where it sat, I could not get one glimpse. It was strictly through the reflection of the TV. At night, it only appeared as a silhouette with its friends.

The funny part was the fact that every time he showed me its face, it was mocking me. It made faces at me like a wicked little child. It would stick its tongue out at me, point at me and laugh at me, shake its head like I was some loser, etc. One time, it held up both hands and put them next to its head to make them look like giant ears. Another time, it put its hand in front of its face and played peek-a-boo with me. The funny one was the one in which it put a hand on its nose and pretended to play the trumpet. You know wiggling its finders while the thumb was connected to the nose. It was straight up a trickster.

Where did it come from?

Not until recent years, I think I summoned that bastard from the darkest places hanging out with the most toxic people ever in my life. During those days, I was spiritually lost and on a downward spiral. It was some hard times for me, and the people around me were also on the same frequency. The places I had gone to and the people I encountered never had the best intentions. They do say that negative energies lure around places where people are driven by the worst of vices. I was on a dark path and one of those bastards had to cling on to me.

I got Mr. Black Suit Clown.

It was a crazy ride for me and hit bottom hard with that thing consuming my mind. When I leaped over this swampy mountain that was those dark times, I was able to slash those spirits away by breaking the mental mirrors that only made me see a reflection of another guy who I was starting to know. Who I was starting to intensely hate.

Now, I make sure nothing clings on to me as I walk with my intimate smiles which are no longer plastic or lackadaisical, but surely smiles full of sunshine that I sought and conquered. The freight of darkness does not intimidate me anymore. Yet, I am ready for it at all times.