What REALLY killed Sabrina (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina) SPOILERS

(Before I begin, allow me to say that I am a fan of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina and my criticisms come from a place of love.)

By this time, most CAOS fans have pointed out a huge issue with the end of its final season (I mean, of course, the bit where they glorify suicide) but this, and many other issues besides, comes from the true villains of the season: the writers.

Let’s rewind a bit, to the beginning of the (Endless!) pandemic, circa March, 2020. The cast and crew of CAOS weren’t sure if they’d be coming back, so the latter half of the season (otherwise titled Part 4) was apparently written accordingly. It wasn’t until July or thereabouts when the show was cancelled for good.

The season’s conceit implements Eldritch Terrors— The Darkness, The Uninvited, The Weird, The [Imp of the] Perverse, The Cosmic, The Returned, The Endless, and The Void— introducing the Terrors as being so powerful that any single one would be capable of ending the world. These eight Lovecraft-inspired devastations are loosed on all of existence, yet there's still time for dating drama, multiple weddings, and a Battle of the Bands (a classic staple of any apocalypse, to be fair). I know that's usually the formula for these kinds of shows, but if you suspect you're writing a final season, it seems like a better idea would be to focus on going out with a bang instead of diluting it down to a whimper. There is so much included in this final season; any of the plotlines might've been fully fleshed-out in a season all their own, but they're presented in a kind of “Lift Yourself” fashion with Sabrina and Nick and the gang 'whoopedy-scoop'-ing their way through a whirlwind of interesting concepts like a group hellbent on sinking their ship, not saving it.

The most meta episode is also the episode where this sinking-not-saving tactic is most obvious. In Chapter 35, Sabrina portal-hops through her magic mirror into The Cosmic/Endless onto the set of her own show (a concept that took Supernatural took 6 seasons to do), and we're treated to Salem and the Aunties from Sabrina the Teenage Witch. While this kind of self-aware situation would usually present the kind of opportunity for which Ocean's Twelve is notorious, the writers choose instead to comment on the creative process and demands of making the show: it is an eternal monotony from which there is no escape and in which all the pieces are replacable. The script is made to frame CAOS itself as an Eldritch Terror— or, at the very least, to frame the show runners/Netflix as a Terror.

If CAOS is a Terror, the writers ostensibly belittle the show's impact; how could something so humdrum and monotonously replacable mean anything to anyone? After all, as the Endless, it's a dime-a-dozen, formulaic prison, isn't it? And if Netflix is the Terror, the writers seemingly mean to set the fans against Netflix. . . without making a clear case about what is at stake. The writers throw everything on the table and finger Netflix for the blame as if to say “the show would've ended better if they hadn't cancelled us.” Whichever meaning the Endless is meant to have, the writers show their true colors, and, in a manner not inconsistent with Sabrina, act contrary to themselves.

It would be one thing if CAOS had blamed Netflix for cancellation in an off-hand remark as the season delivered on its promise of being the most challenging, mind-bending, world-ending thing our heroine had ever faced, but it didn't. The stakes were “raised” in name only, and the rest of it... Theo is nearly forgotten (then “White Fang”s Robin); Roz is promoted (we already knew “the Cunning” was witchy), then sidelined; Nick plays will-they-won't-they (with himself???); and Harvey fulfils his destiny as token White Supremacist (Roz needs to leave that boy, pronto). It's a mess!

And the fans are meant to believe this mess only happened because the show was cancelled, or because a show like this can only ever end in a mess? Perhaps I care too strongly about the show and its characters to stand for it being labelled as just formulaic, and perhaps I care too strongly about quality scripts to let the writers off the hook for their juvenile actions. But I refuse to believe that CAOS, let alone Sabrina Spellman, had to die that way.

One last thing:

If the Weird needed to be dehydrated, body and mind? Sabrina should've thrown the world's wildest kegger.