Truck-kun the Malefic God of Isekai

I was walking by the town square when I notice an unusually crowd in front of the town’s central clock tower. I was recently isekaied, or rather transported to this world when I was ran over by a truck. I’ve been here for three months now and have accrued student loans in this fantasy world’s version of college. Where’s my overpowered weapon or my harem of cute girls? This is not what I signed up for! I walk over to the crowd with my bag of groceries in hand hearing chatter throughout, but I can’t make any of it out until “Truck-kun! It’s truck-kun!” A woman yells out in excitement. I look and see a large truck parked in the middle of the square. Wait, truck? But there’s no cars here!

“Oh great and marvelous Truck-kun, I ask that you bless us with another harvest for this year,” prays a man kneeling next to the truck which honks its horn twice in response, smoke bellowing out of it.

I can’t believe these people. They’re worshipping a truck!? What is wrong with them? The truck horn honks loudly as if in anger? That can’t be right. The door slams open and there’s nobody in the driver seat. I hear a voice in my head, “If you don’t want me to isekai you permanently to hell, get your butt in here!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Was the truck talking to me?

“I can hear every thought you’re thinking. Now, get in me or you’ll be on a highway to hell!”

I gulp and walk slowly and nervously to the truck. I climb in as the people around me gasp. Once inside, the door closes and locks itself and I immediately start panicking and knocking on the window. The truck’s horn sounds and the engine roars up. But I didn’t start it. I try taking the key out of the ignition, but it won’t budge. The wheels rev up and it drives forward and the surroundings disappear until we’re in some weird blue space on some completely white, translucent highway. I see odd shapes like the outlines of cubes, molecules, triangles. What is going on?

The voice echoes, “I’ll tell you what’s going on. Since you don’t seem to believe that I’m a god, I’ve decided to make you my personal helper for the day. Maybe even all of eternity. Depends on how good of a fall guy you are. Nya ha ha ha! Now, my job is to run people over and isekai them, as you weebs put it, to different worlds. It’s not all fun and games as you put it. Oh, who am I kidding? It is all fun and games for me. Nya ha ha ha!”

“Please let me out! I didn’t mean to offend you. Just let me out and I’ll never do it again!”

“Silence!” The entire interior turns red as smoke comes out of the pipe. “I don’t care how much of a wuss you are. To be frank, I don’t even need a helper. You’re just a fall guy in case the police show up because we can’t have you miserable sad sacks see a truck driving itself! Now, if you would please direct your attention to the two books in the dashboard, I want to select a target to isekai and what world to send him to.”

The interior’s color goes back to normal and I ask nervously, “Do we really have to kill people? Can’t we just leave them alone?”

“Now, where’s the fun in that? In all honesty, I don’t have to just do my job, but I love it. Believe me, the rush of the blood flying as the guts spill to the concrete of the road as I literally ram their soul into either a beautiful heaven or a nightmarish hell is a wonderful feeling.”

“Wait. Nightmarish hell?”

“Do you really believe I just isekai weebs, gosh I hate that word, to a magical paradise where they live all their sick, perverted fantasies? Nooo. I only do that to a few people to sell them on the idea of isekai giving me more victims to kill. In actuality, 99% of them die in the first few hours. Some are just lucky to escape what horror awaits them. Other worlds tend to kill foreigners on sight. Glorious, isn’t it?”

I start screaming, “You’re nuts. I don’t know what kind of psychopath but I don’t want any part in this.”

“Well, too bad.” The interior turns red again. “You’re already strapped in,” Suddenly the seats belts buckle me tightly to the seat over my entire body, “for a wild ride. Now choose our next victim or I’ll choose for you!”

The interior turns back to normal, the seat belts loosen up allowing me to move, and I pick up one of the books as the truck drives through this blue void of nothing on a highway to nowhere. I see an old man in his 70s in the book and then say, “How about this Dalton Martindale guy in Detroit? He seems like he’s lived a good life.”

“Not very creative are you? Oh well, I haven’t kill an old man in a while. Where are we sending him?”

I put that book and pick up the other one. There’s a ton of options from one full of man-eating rat people to one full of living gummi bears. Oh that looks like a good one. “How about this world of sentient gummi bears?”

“That is the lamest choice you could have picked, but I’ll go with it this one time. Now, hang on, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.” Suddenly, the truck picks up speed. I crash into the back of the seat as white light surrounds us and we’re suddenly at a crosswalk in a small rural town where Dalton was crossing the street. The truck honks his horn alerting him. He screams in terror as the truck runs him over, his guts spilling to the curb right before the white light envelops us once more bringing back to the void, but this time he’s fully intact on the bumper as the truck speeds along. All of a sudden, the truck starts swerving to the side before it falls off the side of the imaginary road. The white light envelops us once more and we seem to crashing into candyland. I scream and close my eyes as I hear the sound of us crashing, yet I feel fine. I open my eyes once more and out the window shield we’re back in the void. Why? How? We crashed.

“Yeah, that’s all part of the job. You really chose the perfect for him, huh? Apparently, he suffers from low blood sugar so he can cannibalize off the gummi bear people in order to alleviate them. Plus, they don’t believe in violence what-so-ever and their weapons are just as gummy as they are. So, congratulations! You may have doomed an entire species!” mocks the truck.

“Oh…Oh god! What have I done?” I murmur as the realization dawns on me.

“Remember, I’m your god now! No matter where we go just remember, you now have blood on your blood on your hands. Nya ha ha ha!”

“What kind of evil god are you?”

“I think you just figured it out. Now then, why don’t you select our next target? This ought to be interesting.” The truck continues laughing and now I’m scared out of my wit. I never I would be scared of a truck like this, but this one is probably worse than Hitler and nobody can touch him. How many thousands has he killed? And once he’s bored of me will he kill me too? What will I do? I pick up the book, my hands shaking in fear. I flip through the pages and see my old childhood bully Robbie Grayson. I remember that he used to dunk my head, once destroyed my phone by slapping it out of my hand as he laughed at me, and that time he stole my girlfriend and got her pregnant. Actually, that last one was back in high school. I remember that he ruined her life by running off with another and I was too nervous to say anything back then.

“Robbie Grayson. I want to send him to the world of man-eating rat people,” I say to the truck.

“Now, that’s more like it! I’m in.” He turns at a sharp angle plunging off the imaginary road. White light envelops us as we’re suddenly on safe ground driving closer to a burger joint. Suddenly, the truck goes off-road with a little hop before ramming into the wall. Robbie with his smug smile and pretty boy face was serving a burger to an old lady customer when we crash through the wall, the horn bellowing.

“What the fuck-“

That’s all he could say before we ran him over, crashed through the other wall, and end up in the void with Robbie sticking to the bumper. The truck jumps off the road and continues driving in midair. The sound of the wheels on pavement wasn’t present as the horn bellows. He looks up and sees me in the driver’s seat.

“This is what you get for all your years of abuse, Robbie!”

Suddenly, the truck screeched to a halt causing Robbie to fall off the truck into the void. Suddenly, the book opens and I see Robbie wake up shaking his head only to be surrounded by rat people. They all looked very hungry. They dogpile on him and start eating him alive, and I smile. I could get used to this.