So...Parking Wars?

As we left 2020 somewhere in the dark past behind us (not that 2021 has been much better), I spent those final few hours before the new year began squeezing in the season finale of The Office. I, and many other fans of the show, spent the precious weeks before January 1st binge watching The Office one last time. For me it was the 5th time through? Maybe 6th? Because Netflix had the audacity to remove it so NBC could hoard the streaming rights for themselves. I get it, but...come on.

I don't really consider The Office a guilty pleasure binge show even though I've watched it multiple times. It's something I'll gladly tell people about (hey, I even just bought a Schrute Farms sticker for my laptop). I think the really interesting 'guilty pleasure' shows are the ones that not even you fully understand why you watch. Sure I have shows I absolutely love that aren't everyone's cup of tea: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dancing with the Stars, Riverdale, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. But they aren't too out there, even though at 28 I sometimes feel like I'm too old to be watching Riverdale since all these characters are supposed to be in HIGH SCHOOL. Ugh.

I'm even that weirdo who somewhere in 2020 fell down the inevitable K-pop rabbit hole and can now name all the members of BTS in order by age. Did you know they essentially have their own show and it's free on Youtube? Yeah, neither did I. Cue me mindlessly watching episodes of them doing cooking challenges, playing games, and pranking each other mercilessly. Just look at this poor man. Leader of an international music group sensation, songwriter, speaker at the U.N., and he can't figure out how to slice a carrot. This was my quarantine amusement.

Then of course there's the Kitchen Nightmare binge I repeatedly fall into because there's something strangely comforting about watching Gordon Ramsay eating some horrible pile of slop while you eat your own dinner. Even better to be watching the uncensored episodes on Youtube where you can delight yourself in the full extent of his profanity. The man is gifted.

So I had a few good ideas as to what I could name as one of my top guilty pleasure shows. Do I pick Full House? I've somehow watched every single episode over the course of my life and I was actually a little too excited to watch Fuller House once it came out. I'm sorry but Candace Cameron reprising her role as adult DJ with a veterinarian degree is everything.

Or something like Wife Swap? Whoever thought of taking complete polar opposite families and switching out the moms for two weeks is a genius. Or maybe a masochist. Is it all for the cameras? Are these families really this ridiculous? I have no idea but wow am I entertained. Not to mention the fact that Wife Swap gave us one of the best walk-out moments in history with Curtis packing his tiny suitcase and leaving once the last of the junk food was thrown out. I hope he's doing well.

And Naked and Afraid for that matter. I guess there's something about watching two people trying to survive butt naked out in the wilderness for 21 days that makes you thankful you're at home sitting on your couch wrapped up in your favorite fuzzy blanket. Honestly, I think if the contestants weren't naked on this show I'd catch much less flak for liking it. And what everyone always asks: How much do they win? What's the point? They get a couple thousand, if that, for having to take time out of their lives. It's the ultimate survival challenge, guys. The journey is the reward.

Can we forget Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy? Absolutely not. I'm pretty sure my family and I have watched them both nearly every night since my birth. I think there's comfort in doing something for that long, even though now it's not quite the same since Alex Trebek passed away. Oddly enough, it feels almost like a different show, but it's easy to get attached to things that are constant, and his shoes are massive ones to fill. But like my dad, a man who's currently battling stage 4 melanoma, said: 'How old was he? 80? I'll take that.' Wouldn't we all?

But I think what I decided to chose was my newest binge straight out of 2020. Yes, I've watched Haunting of Bly Manor, Good Omens, and got a little too involved watching things like The Good Doctor and This Is Us with my mom. I actually watched a bit of anime too (like Your Lie in April which will make you cry all the tears) which takes me back to my days in 8th grade when it definitely wasn't cool to watch it. But beside rewatching Malcolm in the Middle and The Office this year, one of my best friends sent me a link to a Youtube playlist of a show I'd never watched before:

Parking Wars.

I think I had absolutely no idea what the premise was when I'd heard of this show but it's pretty literal: the trials and tribulations of different Parking Authority employees across the U.S. Honestly, it makes sense that I would like this. It's an A&E show, and they are notorious for what I would consider guilty pleasure tv. They gave us Hoarders, Dog the Bounty Hunter, and one of my personal favorites Billy the Exterminator. He's just someone I would trust, you know?

But A&E seems to toe this line between being a serious network with true crime shows and documentaries like when they had Leah Remini unmasking the Church of Scientology in her expose on the culty religion and her experience with it. But then they have things like Duck Dynasty and the Toe Bro. What? But I guess I need to appreciate the diversity.

Naturally I went into Parking Wars skeptical. My friend assured me it was good and totally binge-worthy; the time period alone made it a hidden television gem. Soooo I started watching. I didn't totally fully grasp it's beauty at first, but somehow I burned through episode after episode in record time. Do I have a favorite car booting team? Oh you know I do, it's Sherry and Garfield in Philadelphia. Will I always make sure my car is insured and registered? Absolutely. Not like I wouldn't have that done already. I find myself paying attention to parking signs now when I drive around my city even though they aren't relevant to what I'm doing in the slightest. And somehow I've also memorized how much different parking fees are. Expired meter? $25. You parked in a handicap parking spot though? Fork over $300, buddy. I think I especially find comfort in watching because, at least at the impound lot, it bears a very slight resemblance to my own job. So seeing people dealing with irate customers who don't understand the rules is like developing a bit of a camaraderie with another workplace. The customer isn't always right when they insist on breaking the law or not following directions.

And then of course I think about myself being able to work as a member of the Parking Authority. Wow, it must be nice to walk around a section of town all day, get to know people...and then I remember that I'm an absolute push over and would probably have a nervous breakdown trying to hand out tickets to angry people. I feel for these damn employees...what would happen if parking rules weren't enforced? Would we have chaos? Anarchy? People looting in the streets? Probably not, but I think there would be a few fist fights and a whole lot of double parked cars.

I think it's easy to find comfort in the mundane. Is Parking Wars an absolutely nail-biter with a thrilling plot? Absolutely not, but it does what a lot of these types of shows do: provide escapism. Listen, we're still neck deep in a global pandemic where the news is constantly shouting death tolls at us. Sometimes you just need to change the channel and watch some reality tv. Reminisce about the time before masks and social distancing and feeling completely unnerved when you here someone cough near you. I find myself watching tv and movies these days and getting weirdly uncomfortable when people are too close to each other. Wait! You don't have a mask! It's...strange. There's something really special and admittedly mind-numbing about turning your brain off a little and slipping into something unproblematic. And if you like shows that get your heart racing and make you angry and anxious, that works too. Maybe I like Parking Wars for it's brilliant simplicity. And maybe I rewatch shows like The Office because there's no surprises there, just those brilliant cold openings.

But pandemic or not, we've always had shows we use to escape from the moments in life that are hard. Because honestly what's better than getting home from a long day at work and eating a nice snack while curling up to watch one of your favorite shows?

You'll probably find me doing just that later today.

One last piece of advice I learned from Parking Wars?

Always feed your parking meter!