Ranking NHL Team Names by Baby Name Appropriateness

The NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs are in full swing, and although we don't know who will win yet (Go Stars!), by the end of this article you will know who is the winner of best baby name! Or least...worst...baby name?

Let's get started, ranking from worst to best. Play ball!

32. Predator

Self-explanatory, no comment.

31. Kraken

When a child's only nickname possibility is 'crack', it's a no from me.

30. Blackhawk

Is this controversial? For this to be their name and mascot? Either way, let's not make it worse by naming a baby after them.

29. Canadien

Do I really need to tell you not to name your child after a nationality? Though, I suppose Britain and Ireland and America are used names... Still, no, don't do this.

28. Blue Jacket

Yes, Blue Jacket beat Canadien -- I won't be taking critiques. I thought a Blue Jacket wasn't a real thing but my research shows that it was the name for war chiefs of the Shawnee people. So, not such a bad hockey name, but still a bad baby name. But perhaps if you make the middle name Jacket and then just never tell anyone the middle name...

27. Red Wing

Again, if you don't ever mention the middle name, this is passable. But as a whole name, disgraceful.

26. Canuck

Ca-No Way.

25. Senator

Let's be real, we have all the senators we need in this world. Also, no nickname potential.

24. Devil

If you ignore that it's literally the devil, then it's actually a little cute. But if you don't, then this ends up at 24. Too high on the list, but what can we do with competitors like Kraken?

23. Penguin

How did Penguin end up at 23?, you ask. Why are all the NHL names so bizarre?, I counter. You've forced my hand.

22. Avalanche

You could actually make some nice nicknames out of this, but I still can't condone it.

21. Duck

While I could swear that a Southern family would use this anyway, the bullying is impending and unavoidable. Rhyming it with a curse, duck duck goose, people ducking down when the name is called, the list goes on.

20. Oiler

Listen, I'm not saying I approve at all, I'm just saying I can see it happening. Olivia and Oliver are some of the most popular names on the baby name leaderboards, so Oiler isn't too far off.

19. Shark

Kind of a sick name but if he grows up to be an engineer instead of a surfer, it changes the tone a bit.

18. Islander

Not sure if it's weirder to name your child this is you are from an island or if you're not from an island, but either way it's a kind of sweet combo of Isla and Xander.

17. Lightning

Weather names are a thing, and I'm living proof, but lightning isn't my favorite nor should it be yours.

16. Flame

Similarly to Shark, if the kid aspires to be a doctor instead of, say, a firefighter, this might not play as well. But not terrible.

15. Panther

Panther was #21 out of 32 on my NFL list, so it managing to rank 15th on this list says less about the usability of the name or more about the un-usibility of the rest of the NHL team names.

14. Golden Knight

Again, this is one where if we avoid middle name usage, it's better. But Golden and Knight individually aren't such bad names, so this ranks much higher than poor Red Wing and Blue Jacket.

13. Flyer

Coming in at lucky (or perhaps unlucky) #13, Flyer could be in the Pilot, Sky, Captain vein of names, but something about it doesn't sit super well.

12. Maple Leaf

Same notes as Golden Knight but this has a sweeter cottagecore vibe. I probabaly wouldn't recommend this name for a Canadian but anyone else should be able to pull it off if they take the hockey and hippie comments in stride.

11. Capital

Edgy Hunger Games vibes, Cap as a nickname, not much wrong with it, but has slight political connotations, so take that into account.

10. Coyote

If you say this fast enough, it's the name Cody. But this isn't a name, it's a critter.

9. Sabre

Honestly, I would put this name higher in my own personal consideration rank. It has a sweet sound to it but has a strong, tough meaning. I don't particularly suggest naming your child after a sword (or a staple in the Star Wars fandom), but whatever floats your boat.

8. Bruin

Bruin literally means bear which is a hugely trendy name right now. I can see Bruin being on the comeup, if you're brave enough.

7. Hurricane

I know what you're thinking...how in the world did this make it this high on the list? Couldn't tell you, honestly. But Cane is a normal nickname, and this is not the worst of the weather names... Even I can't really defend my own choice here, just go with it.

6. Blue

Blue starts the road to the actual names. Blue is a name that people us for their real children. It isn't my personal favorite nor is it extremely popular, but it is a name.

5. King

King, too, is a name. Being on any baby name database is apparently enough to get you Top 5 in the NHL team names as baby names...the bar is low.

4. Wild

Wilder is a trendy name right now, so I can definitely see the potential in this shortened name. Unlike the actual Minnesota Wild's potential to win the Stanley Cup. Because the Stars took that away. Go Stars.

3. Star

An actual name, and it's a cute one. Unisex, nature/space theme, short and sweet. My bias to the Dallas Stars is not in effect on this one, how dare you accuse me of that.

2. Ranger

Nice name. Complete coincidence that this is the name of another Texas-based team, this time MLB, the Texas Rangers. Complete coincidence, I promise.

1. Jet

Jet is a great name and a very popular one at that. It's classic yet trendy, it's nice and concise. Good choice Jets.

And that ties it up. This list is purely opinion based but also an attempt to look at these words/names objectively and create a comprehensive list. Let me know if you have or know of any children with some of the rarer names, whether they are named after the actual teams or not. And let me know your number one pick. Looking forward to the Stanley Cup, and best of luck to all the teams still playing.