Keeping Your Secret Identity From Loved Ones?

At some point along the way of the crime fighter, the custodial aunt has to find out that the skinny nerd that’s been living under their roof is actually doing battle with thieves and murderers while wearing long underwear. There will be feelings of fear, betrayal, guilt, anger, and such. Then, inevitably, the enhanced human crime fighter will explain that they kept the secret from their loving family in order to keep them safe. If they had known about the super side hustle going on every night, they could have been put in terrible danger! But wait, does that make any sense at all? Family members and girlfriends seem to buy into that questionable explanation without thinking too hard about it, but it actually is truly comic hogwash.

To be clear on a hyperbole here, I’m not saying that your superhero self should be open and vulnerable about their experiences. There are in fact good reasons for keeping a secret identity secret from most other people. If one arrogantly announces that they are the one known as - insert nickname here - then there is a good chance that their Malibu home is going to be blown up and their loved ones really will be in mortal danger. If the ghastly rogues of the criminal underworld knew who was really behind that mask or helmet or...glasses (?), there would be no end to the threats and coercion the hero would suffer on behalf of their aunt, butler, or live-in lover. Even pets could be endangered by that kind of privacy breach. That is logical.

The part where the loved ones are safer not knowing what the hero is doing is a trope that just doesn’t add up. The threat to your kin is the big-bad antagonist finding out who the hero is and using that information to hurt the caped crime fighter. Assuming that your loved ones do not have a thing for pain and death, they aren’t likely to go around telling other people their secret. To hammer home that point, you might want to remind them who your enemies are and what kind of deliberately nasty things they can do to someone when so motivated. Once they sit through a multimedia presentation of the dangers of letting that particular kitty out the proverbial bag, they won’t want to do anything to get you and yours hurt, with them being part of the group of yours.

A girlfriend or boyfriend might be a little different. Sure, they don’t want to get hurt or dead either, but what if they were really, really angry at you. If you forget to take the garbage out or use the last of the coffee creamer without replacing it and he or she probably won’t be on the precipice of nuking you and your relationship. But what if you dump them for the really nice new person at the coffee stand? Betrayal breeds revenge. Heck hath no fury like the significant other of a superhero who got left for a newer model. If your ex gets leaky with certain details about what you do in the shadows then everyone you know might be at risk. If you’re going to not tell someone about your hobby, the new love interest might be the one to skip.

Because being a vigilante is probably going to run afoul of the existing laws (and Sokivia Accords), there is the chance that someone you love might be charged with a crime. If you get busted, some aggressive district attorney might charge your gang with harboring a criminal or accessory to illegally bringing down enhanced human bad guys. Public opinion would be on your side. Focus groups would love what you’ve been doing. Because district attorneys are not universally fun-loving and forgiving, and because prison is hard, you should at least mention this to anyone that knows you are the one putting on unitards and dishing out justice at night.

A hero should keep the inner circle tight. You shouldn’t start a social media group and invite a bunch of folk to join. Still, if the numbers are kept to a minimum, having a few people share in your secret is actually probably good for all of you. Just think hard about cheating on your ex if you do tell them. Awkward.