How Dungeons & Dragons Saved My Social Life

My pre-Covid social circle was massive. I had a core group of highly connected friends who made me feel part of a larger community. They gave me the support and camaraderie I needed in my 20s and I flourished with them. But as time went on it was clear that my path and theirs was beginning to split. As much as I wanted to stay I knew I had to let go, so I did.

All at once my calendar dried up. There were no calls to make and, with the lockdowns in place, there was nowhere to go. While I had a close circle of family to lean on I missed my old friends. I felt isolated, adrift and bereft.

So as to not go insane I started to dabble in new interests. I had more time to paint, to read and to exercise. I also had time to get lost in the Youtube rabbit hole. That’s where I found these guys.

For those who do not know, Critical Role is the highly acclaimed media production and show where a group of friends, who just happened to be accomplished voice actors, play Dungeons & Dragons.

Now, I knew what Dungeons & Dragons (often abbreviated as DnD) was and there were people in my highschool who played it. But while I loved the fantasy genre I mainly stuck to reading books and watching the Lord of the Rings (over and over again.) Role-playing a make believe character in a make believe world struck me as too weird and nerdy and I was too busy being cool to consider playing. Coupled with the Asian parents’ expectation to get straight A’s I focused on my academics and paid DnD no mind.

So it was with surprise and increasing delight that I found myself watching “nerdy-ass voice actors” playing Dungeons & Dragons. Each episode was incredibly long (3 hours on average) but it was Covid and I had the time. 115 episodes and one campaign later I was bawling my eyes out. How could a make believe world with make believe characters move me with such emotions? It was astonishing and I found myself eager to finally give DnD a chance.

I was nervous putting myself out there, of course. While DnD has grown in both popularity and inclusivity there were plenty of stories of toxic groups and players. If the horror stories on Reddit and Youtube were anything to go by, DnD attracted people with the worst social skills, attitudes and - er - fantasies. I was afraid my first group would have those elements and sour my experience.

As it turned out I was worried over nothing. The character of the DnD community was and remains overwhelmingly positive and, after a quick Facebook search, I was welcomed into a couple games. My group mates were accomodating to a newbie like me and patiently untangled the ropes I struggled to learn.

They soon became my very close friends.

Seven months later and my calendar is booked. I participate in weekly games and count the days until I can see my friends again. I’ve also started reaching out on social media and connecting with people just as excited about this game as I am. The DnD community is so vast and diverse it’s exciting to get lost in.

The same community also encouraged me to try my hand at being a DM (Dungeon Master and not the kinky kind). Instead of testing a few games with my DnD buddies, I decided to introduce my family and some of my old friends to the hobby. What started as a one-shot soon grew into a full blown campaign with friends both old and new gathering every other week to roll dice, eat pizza and just have fun. Their presence fills me with so much joy and the house with so much laughter.

While I reflect on my prior social circle with fondness, I don’t think I had as much fun and camaraderie as I now have with this group. DnD gave me the courage to loosen up, let my hair down and, in a society that prioritises the grind, gave me permission to play. And though I know friends come and go, I do not see the DnD community taking a path I cannot follow.

And I don’t see myself leaving any time soon.

If you enjoyed this article, or enjoy playing DnD yourself, please leave a like and follow me on @LAndaweyWrites. I'd love to meet you.

Thank you for lingering.