Buzzkills

Virgil and I isolated ourselves in my bedroom watching some films on Shudder while everyone else was playing some board games and binging some Disney films. Sure, we were alone, but at least we weren't considered the "buzzkills" of our little group. Just because we're accepted parts of Thomas didn't mean we weren't outcasts.

For one thing, Virgil found comfort sitting in places that weren't traditionally used as chair substitutions. He spent most of his time alone and could handle is own loud music and movies, but couldn't emphasize enough how much he couldn't stand when someone overwhelmed him with other loud noises (who could blame him?). He felt incomplete without being metaphorical consumed by his hoodie and he couldn't stand Roman's attempt of "affection".

As for me, I always felt a day wouldn't be complete without me metaphorically spitting out random facts that intrigue me or that I felt could benefit Thomas in the future. I relied on flashcards to better understand slang and I had also been prone to easily get frustrated. I usually felt I could easily get stuff done on my own so that I wouldn't feel judged by anyone else or get delayed by anyone. The main reasons for me not throwing away my unicorn onesie was because I was fond of the color patterns and the addictive textures when wearing it, not that it was anyone else's business why I had it in the first place. My obsessions with Crofters, "Sherlock", and "Doctor Who" were obvious; so obvious that they were referenced during Roman's attempt of "affection".

In case it wasn't exactly clear, Virgil and I are both on the autism spectrum and it never impacted Thomas in the slightest. We told Thomas out of courtesy, but he was the only one who knew. Even though Roman and Remus had speculations, it almost felt like everyone else intentionally gets every now and then for the sake of playing the victim. There were many times that we tried to fit in with the rest of the group, but there was only enough either of us could tolerate before one or both of us left. After dealing with a lot of Roman's insults that he claimed were his attempt of affection, I thought about Virgil's methods and figured that figuratively spitting the same vemon back at Roman would be the only way for me to be heard since his insults and dismissals usually muted me or Virgil.

My most recent attempt was when we were all playing a board game and what was considered banter switched to the topic of Jumanji. Roman bragged that he could be anybody during "such an adventure" and then decided to target me. As an attempt to get even I remarked that he wouldn't last in Jumanji because he wouldn't have enough access to his beauty supplies in the jungle and would easily freak out while mistaking a leaf for a leech. Nobody laughed at my remark, so I figured it was on par with Roman's insults. However, when Roman grabbed his chest and whined about everything hurting, the glares toward me were evident and I could tell I was no longer seen as an enemy to just Roman. I vanished to my room before I could hear Virgil say anything since he was more skilled with emotions. I stared up at the night sky that took the place of my ceiling and couldn't understand what was going on. Did Roman have special privileges to insult whomever he wanted because of his title? Was I evil by default as one of the outcast of those that called themselves my family? Why were such actions only acknowledged when they were seen as acts of retaliation?

I heard a knock at my door followed by Virgil's voice saying "Logan? Are you alright?" from the other side.

"If you want me to apologize to Roman, forget it!" I proclaimed.

Virgil entered my room and closed the door behind him. He sat next to me, but didn't touch me, even by accident.

"I came by as soon they claimed Roman was innocent and you were a buzzkill. Thank you for saying what you said; he was getting annoying."

"Out of anything we can control, I sometimes wonder why are mannerisms are among the things we can't."

"Maybe because Thomas would have to change as well. Anyway, if you're a buzzkill, that must mean I am, too."

Pretty soon, we were watching horror films on Shudder while Roman was figuratively starving from his lack of present people to insult as far as we knew. Maybe they'd know how different we really were from them. Until then, we were content with our labels as "buzzkills".