A Love-Hate Relationship with Supernatural

In 2005, Supernatural aired for the first time. And I didn't watch it.

When I was in high school years later, my friends fawned over the show and recommended it to me several times.

And I didn't watch it.

It wasn't until after I graduated high school that I saw Supernatural come up when I was scrolling through Netflix one night that I decided to give it a try. I didn't find anything else that caught my eye, and it had been recommended to me so many times that I figured why not.

I got to the episode "Skin" in the first season, and then I stopped watching and didn't look back for a good couple of months. Not for any particular reason, but at the time it didn't hold my interest enough for me to continue.

After a couple of months of putting the show to the side, I had time and decided to give it another try. This time, I made it through all the episodes that were available at the time, which I believe was ten seasons worth.

This time, I was hooked. Once I finished all the available episodes, I went back and immediately started them from the beginning again.

I developed a love for the show, but that love came with mixed feelings. I felt embarrassed to be absorbed by it, and at times I felt anger at how some plots were resolved (or weren't) and how some episodes (or seasons) were written.

In the beginning, the show knew its identity. It was about brothers who saved people and hunted things, and in the meantime they wanted to find their dad and get revenge on the demon who killed their mother. These were my favorite seasons, because they had a simplicity to them, but also an overarching story that left viewers with a sense of darkness and fear. It was eerie and the struggles that Sam and Dean Winchester had to face held uncertainty as to whether they would be able to overcome those struggles because they were just human against creatures that were so much more than human.

Then, the show kept going and the cringe started to creep into more episodes rather than just an episode here and there. It lost sight of what it used to be, and more awkward moments made it into the show.

It was difficult to watch the characters make the wrong choices for the sake of drama when you've witnessed that they know better, or should know better given the past cases they've solved.

A lot of problems they face as seasons progress are ones that they've caused, and then the issue is just trying to right what they've done wrong. Like with the season ten finale of Sam unleashing The Darkness to get rid of the Mark of Cain on Dean's arm (and Dean also killing Death at the same time).

Death becomes trivial when characters defy it and return from it as many times as Sam and Dean.

I can't watch any of the episodes with Becky in them. Or the episode that takes place at a convention. If anyone ever wanted an example of cringe in a TV show, there are the best ones I can give.

And yet, despite its flaws, I still love Supernatural.

At its core, it's a show about family ties and facing a world that feels like it's been stacked against you. Even with all the unrealistic events, the core themes are those that can resonate with many people.

To say goodbye to the show after so many seasons was bittersweet. It's difficult to see anything you love come to an end, but it was a relief that there would be no more needlessly pitted the brothers against each other or trying to one up the main villain of each season, which is especially hard when you start bringing in God as a villain.

Yet, whenever I feel the need for the comfort that Supernatural brings in the fact that Sam and Dean always have each others' backs at the end of the day, I know that I can start the series back up from the very first episode and go through their journey once again.

Carry on, wayward sons.