Why Charmander Is the Best Starter

Professor Oak is like the local drug dealer of Pallet Town (a little harsh I know). He wait til everyone is just of age and then boom he gives them a little taste of Pokémon and they are hooked. But, what is even worse than this is that he will always give some other chump (who will wind up being your rival) a specific Pokémon that has a better chance of beating your Pokémon, on purpose! Of course he does not tell you this, you just later find out when your rival throws it into your face. However, this does not take away from the fact that you must make a crucial decision on which Pokémon to take, Bulbasaur, Squirtle, or Charmander. Don’t worry, I will make it extremely easy for you.

We won’t get into basic stats just yet, instead, let’s just look at design. Squirtle is pretty much just a blue turtle that happens to stand and sometimes wears glasses. Yes, that is kind of cool but guess what turtles die to when they are young? Birds, raccoons, weasels, sharks, basically everything. Bulbasaur is, like, um, a plant on top of a dog, or something like that. It is basically a bad experiment that somehow made it from paper onto the big screen because budgets must of been low. Furthermore, what eats plants? Again, basically everything! Charmander is a reptile that spits fire out at you and has a tail that is also on fire. What to know what eats fire? NOTHING. I guess you can say water (figuratively speaking) eats fire but the turtle is already dead before this argument even comes into play. Charmander wins.

Now we all know how cool shiny Pokémon are. So I’ll keep this simple, Squirtle literally does not change at all, Bulbasaur again does not change all all, Charmander turns gold... Charmander wins.

Now, let’s talk about what happens after you use these Pokémon as slaves to fight for you and then return them to a jail cell until the next time you need them to put their life on the line. Squirtle evolves into just a bigger turtle that is slower and just a huge target. Bulbasaur evolves into just a bigger plant. Charmander evolves into a dragon that can fly. This should not even be argued but I had to put it in.

I was going to get into basic stats but it is not even worth the time anymore. You get the point, everything eats turtles, plants are you know.. plants, and fire is FIRE. Charmander wins.