Cremated ashes and how to transfer them to an urn

ouAt 11:30 last night, a family friend called me and asked an interesting question. I had told him that my sister in law had ordered an urn for my husband's cremated remains so he wanted to know how I would get the ashes from the box that now holds them into the urn. I had not really thought about it but I told him I supposed I would simply pour them in. His next question was if I were supposed to contact the funeral home to take care of this and I said I had assumed my business with them was concluded once they presented the box of ashes to me.

Cremation is one of those things where opinions vary. There are some who make jokes about cremated ashes and others like my friend will have reservations. The first time I ever dealt with cremation was in 2007, after the death of my father who lived in New York. His remains came in the mail with no instructions warning or instructions. We had been looking for a package from the medical facility where he had been residing so when this box came from New York we assumed it was his personal belongings.

I handed the box to my grandma and when she opened it she screamed and her whole body shook. I grabbed the box from her and set it on the table and realized it was not jewelry but what was left of my dad. After a few moments, we got a good laugh out of this and it’s still funny today. A sobering thought, however, is that a 6 foot tall 175 lb. man was reduced to crushed bones in a container that weighed probably about 4 to 6 lbs. and this was truly an eye opener.

I recently found out that what we call ashes are actually the bones of the deceased that have been crushed to a powder. Bone is what is left after the cremation and not actual ashes. My dad’s remains were inside of a plastic bag that was in the box. This obviously is standard because it was the same with my grandma and my husband. We released my dad's ashes back into the atmosphere and we buried my grandmother’s box of remains in the dirt near my mother’s grave.

I am certain that there are many others who like my family friend are unsure of how to handle "ashes." Truthfully it's up to the surviving family members as cremated remains have been disposed of in many unique manners. Some people have thrown ashes into the sea or had them placed inside of jewelry such as rings and necklaces. Cremated remains can be turned into ar work or made into an hourglass which I think is unique. All of this indicates that there are people who have no problem with handling the ashes of the deceased.

Sometimes people find humor in situations regarding the ashes of the dearly departed. I once saw a television show where someone smoked cremated ashes by mistake for weed. Friends of the late Tupac Shakur say they smoked his ashes at his request. There was an episode of Psych where cremated ashes flew all over the characters Juliet and Carlton after a high-speed chase and they were mortified. I find that a little laughter in such situations is good for the soul. I would much rather write a light-hearted story than a somber one.

If you desire an urn or box for a departed loved one but are squeamish regarding handling the remains, you can call the funeral home you used and they will do this for you as a courtesy. If you desire to do it yourself it will depend on the type of container you use. The square boxes have lids that can be lifted up and you can set the bag with the remains inside or pour them out of the bag into the box. When it comes to urns, they will have either a top or a bottom that can be removed.

My sister in law called me before I finished this article to say that the urn had come in the mail. I went by her house and picked it up and you see it in the cover photo. This urn had a top that screwed off like a jar top but the opening was not big enough to set the bag of ashes inside. I cut a hole in the bag and carefully poured the contents into the urn and that was that. It's now sitting on the mantle in the living room and I am happy to say I did it by myself.