7 Reasons Why You Attract Toxic People

7 Reasons Why You Attract Toxic People

Wherever you go, wherever you are in life, there will always be toxic people. And it’s easy to feel frustrated, especially when they take up all your emotional energy. When you feel annoyed by the toxicity in your life, it’s tempting to blame others and ask the world, why me? But, instead of seeking pity from the cosmos, you should look into that question. Why you? How do your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors attract toxic people, and keep them around? The types of people you attract have a lot to do with who you are. That’s not to say that you’re doing something wrong, but you may want to examine what it is about you that is so alluring to toxic personalities. If you sometimes feel like a magnet for toxicity, here are seven reasons why you might be, and how to turn things around:

Number 1 - You’re Really Easygoing Being easygoing is a great trait, and it attracts people whether they’re toxic or not. An easygoing person has a knack for putting others at ease in uncomfortable situations and keeping calm under pressure. If that sounds like you, others might describe you as patient, kind, or a peacekeeper. Although your relaxed personality is not a fault, your mellow nature makes you a target for toxic people. They interpret your carefree attitude as a weakness and assume that you’re easy to control. Once they’ve set their sights on you, you might fall prey to their manipulation tactics and wind up doing things you’d rather not do. To prevent this, cultivate an awareness of other people’s intentions and avoid the tendency to commit to requests automatically.

Number 2 - You Listen To And Understand Others Most people work toward becoming better listeners, but good listeners often attract troubled people. You might find yourself stuck in a one-sided conversation as someone keeps emotionally dumping on you with complete disregard for your time. If you’re an empathetic listener, a toxic person won’t hesitate to share their negative energy with you. They might talk for hours and not once ask for your input. Thankfully, you can do things to avoid being the victim of a conversational bully or narcissistic personality. For instance, if you know what you’re getting into, decide how much time you want to spend with that person before you see them. Prepare an exit strategy (such as other plans), and when the time comes, use it with confidence.

Number 3 - You Are A Problem Solver Some people are fixers. They solve problems, repair broken things, and even try to fix people. Although this can be positive and even altruistic, it makes you a target for toxic people. If you’re an emotional healer, you’re compassionate, and you try to help others without asking for anything in return. Toxic individuals see this as an opportunity. And if you have a hard time leaving things be, you might be crossing boundaries and wreaking havoc in your relationships. The solution is to let things go. Not everything that seems broken needs fixing. And some things just can’t be fixed. When you accept this, it becomes easier to protect yourself.

Number 4 - You’re Too Generous Generosity is a positive characteristic, and you shouldn’t feel bad about being a giving person. Whether you offer up your time, talent, or resources to other people, you become a good role model for others, and you might attract a few toxic people too, especially if you give freely without being mindful of your boundaries. Abusive people flock to generosity like a moth to a flame. They know that you’ll give them the attention and emotional energy they desire, and you might even cater to their needs at your own expense. The bad news is that the more you give in, the more they’ll demand. You give them an inch; they’ll take a mile. To avoid being stuffed full of resentment and bitterness, establish and reinforce your boundaries by saying no more often.

Number 5 - You Are Trusting And Honest With Your Dreams People who are passionate and energetic tend to attract toxic people. That’s because toxic individuals want to drag you down. Toxic people often give up on their dreams out of fear. When they see you living life in a way that they desire and believe is impossible, they seek the satisfaction and validation of watching you fail. If you open up about your ideas and goals, they’ll discourage you and break you down. Toxic people see successful and driven people as materialistic, selfish, and unrealistic and they won’t hesitate to criticize you for it. To avoid toxic people who want nothing more than to sink your ship, be intentional about who you surround yourself with. Choose to spend time with people who are like you. Passionate, motivated, and positive. And, moving forward, protect yourself from toxicity by not opening up to pessimistic or closed-minded people.

Number 6 - Your View Of Human Nature Is Overly Positive Most people can agree that humans are generally good, but there’s always going to be at least one bad apple in the bunch. Some people, however, refuse to accept the dark realities of human nature. They believe that the bad apple can always be made good again, even when the situation is hopeless. If you don’t accept things like deception, greed, and possessiveness for what they are, you likely hold onto unhealthy friendships or relationships hoping for change. And the chances are high that you brush off red flags like insults and continue to spend time with them. If that sounds like you, your tolerance for toxicity is high. You’ve likely had a lot of practice enduring abusive behavior, maybe because you didn’t realize what was happening. Your positivity can put you at risk because it often brushes negative emotions like anxiety and anger under the rug. Don’t wait until the situation becomes unbearable. Instead, harness the power of your intuition. It could help you predict danger. Remain optimistic, but be realistic, too.

Number 7 - You Have Emotional Baggage Everyone has a past, and we all have emotional baggage that we carry from it. Whether that trauma comes from your childhood, past relationships, or challenging experiences - emotional baggage can make you feel insecure. And toxic people love vulnerability. They’ll use your scars as a tool to control you and use your insecurity against you. Don’t let a toxic person make you doubt your worth. Instead, work through your issues, whether that means by yourself, with a trustworthy friend, or talking to a professional.

Move forward through life with security and strength because only you can protect yourself from toxic personalities. You might have noticed that the traits that attract toxic people tend to be positive. But you shouldn’t discount these characteristics. They make you who you are. What you should do, is be aware and be realistic. There will always be toxic people out there, and you’re bound to run into them. When it happens, be ready. Protect yourself, and while you’re at it, set an example for the people in your life.

When kept in check, your positivity can transform negative energy, helping those who mean well improve themselves, even if they have some toxic tendencies. And while you’ll want to spend less time with people who display toxic traits, you can lead by example, at least for those who want to be better. What are your experiences with toxic people? How do you cope with their behaviors? Share your experiences below. If you enjoyed this video, give it a thumbs-up, and share it with your friends, so we can keep making them. For more videos like this, hit the subscribe button, and remember to click on the notification bell.