Space Pirates: Extraordinaire

Thomas did a double take.

It couldn't be him…

But then again… the purple overcoat, the feather earring, the inordinate amount of jewelry… the figure entering into the tavern seemed to match every descriptor from the stories

But, it was impossible...

Thomas was brought out of his shock by the sound of clattering glass. The beer mugs in his hands trembled and clashed against each other as his anticipation rose. He quickly placed the mugs on the counter and moved to where the man was sitting down.

"What can I…" Thomas's voice cracked. He cleared his throat, hoping it would do the same for his nerves. "What can I get you?"

"Three beers." The man said, lifting his hand to indicate the number. The movement caused his sleeve to slide down, revealing a tattoo on his wrist that read Karaoke Superstar.

It was him!

Thomas took a quick breath to steady his nerves, then proceeded to pour the first beer. He set it in front of the man and began working on the second.

With the grace of a seasoned drinker, the figure picked up the glass and drained the entire contents in 5 large gulps. He removed the glass from his lips then used his sleeve to wipe the foam from his beard and mustache.

Thomas set the second glass in front of him and watched him repeat the process as he filled the third.

"Are you Fredrick Redson?" Thomas finally asked.

The figure paused, his glass still perched on his lips, his eyes locked on Thomas. He lowered the half emptied beer.

"Well, I suppose…" The man responded as his hand moved towards the sidearm on his hip. "...that depends on who wants to know."

"No! Wait, I…" Thomas threw forward his empty palms, then desperately pointed towards the bar mirror. "I'm a fan."

The man moved his gaze towards the poster stuck underneath the wooden frame. He saw a crude drawing of a man wearing identical garb as himself.

Under the drawing he saw the words,

Frederick Redson:

Space Pirate, Master Criminal.

Armed and VERY dangerous.

Above in bold, black letters,

WANTED

Except someone had scratched the word out with red ink and above it had written

HERO.

"Master Criminal… I like that." The man said to himself as he picked up the glass and finished the remnants. He gave a small burp before continuing. "In that case… Yes, I am Frederick Redson."

"I knew it!" Thomas exclaimed. "I've always wanted to meet you. I have so many questions. Did you-"

"Look, kid…" Frederick cut him off. "What's your name?"

"Thomas."

"Look, Thomas." Frederick continued. "I am always happy to bask in the adoration of a fan, but I have a strict three drink minimum before any conversation."

"Yes… Of course." Thomas's face turned red as he finished filling the glass and passed it across the bar top.

"Thank you." Frederick responded with a head nod. "... and a shot of rum, please?"

Thomas turned to the well to fulfill the request. He turned back to see Frederick reaching into his coat pocket.

"I don't know what this planet uses for currency…" Frederick pulled something out and placed it on the counter. "... but I assume this will cover it?"

Frederick removed his hand to reveal two large coins.

"Is that… Is that gold?"

"Yes..." Frederick replied, sipping his beer. "Is that acceptable?"

"Acceptable?" Thomas felt the weight in his hand. "Each of these is easily worth $10,000. That's more than the bar makes in a year… I don't have change for this."

"Eh… Keep it." Frederick replied with a dismissive wave as he plopped the shot glass into his beer. "I've got hundreds on the ship."

"Hundreds…?" Thomas was in awe. "I wish I was you!"

"I have that effect on people…" Frederick responded with smiling eyes before emptying the contents of his glass. "...bur-BELCH… burp...burp… Ah, that hits the spot. Two more beers, two more shots."

Thomas nodded.

"You have questions?" Frederick asked.

"So many!" Thomas's excitement grew. "Did you really fight the Lizard Monster of Diministar 5?"

"It was Diministar 6, and it was actually a giant chicken." Frederick replied. "I won't be making that mistake again."

"Did you steal the hearthstone from the Bandits of Chaos?" Thomas asked, handing over the filled glass.

"Yes… Well no… I mean I did, but I gave it back." Frederick reached for one of the beers, sipping slowly this time. "They raided a ship that I was about to raid. I got mad and stole the hearthstone. But we worked it out."

"What about the Mermaids of Penzancia? Did you really…" Thomas became embarrassed and allowed the words to trail off.

"The rumor mill took off on that one. It wasn't 25, more like three, but all three were fine as hell, so you won't hear me complain." Frederick picked up the beer mug and pointed it toward Thomas. "… Where did you hear these stories?"

"Frederick Redson: Space Pirate Extraordinaire…" Thomas replied.

"What the hell is that?" Frederick asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You don't know…"

Thomas was in shock. He moved to his bag and pulled out the latest edition, already well worn from his frequent reading. He handed it across to the pirate.

"I'm a comic book!" Frederick held the magazine as if it were a priceless document, flipping the pages with reverence and awe. "This is fantastic! I always wanted to be a comic… I'm even sexier in print than I am in real life! How many of these are there?"

"213." Thomas smiled. "... and I've read every single one."

"Incredible…" Frederick said softly, then turning to Thomas added. "Can I keep this?"

"Of course!" Thomas's face beamed and then slowly started to fall into disappointment.

"You okay?" Frederick asked.

"Oh yeah…" Thomas said with a half smile. "I was just going to ask you to sign it… I'm sure there is something else though… I know!"

Thomas dug into his pants pocket and pulled out a small, black notebook.

"This will actually work better…" Thomas said. "I always have this on me, so I know I will never lose it."

Thomas opened to an empty page and passed it across the counter.

"Will you sign it?" He asked timidly.

"I would love to sign your magical little book." Frederick smiled.

"How… How did you know I called it that?"

"I didn't..." Frederick produced a pen, seeming to pull it from thin air and smoothly signed the paper. "That's just what I call mine."

Frederick passed the notebook over to Thomas, and then reached into his vest pocket and pulled out his own, nearly identical book.

"I write all of my dreams in here, which helps me to focus on them." Frederick said, presenting the notebook. "... And because I focus on them, my dreams come true, almost as if by magic."

"That's what I do!" Thomas exclaimed, thinking of the page he frequently visited that expressed his desire to meet Frederick.

"Then you already know." Frederick smiled.

"I guess…" Thomas replied, his voice drifting away as he lost himself in thought.

"You seem distracted." Frederick observed, taking another drink of a beer.

"I'm sorry…" Thomas said, picking up a rag and mindlessly wiping the counter with it. "I just… I've just been here for such a long time. Making enough money to survive, but that's about it. I can't save enough to get off world, or even out of town, really. I know that if I focus, eventually I will have everything that I want. It's just been so long."

Thomas sighed.

"I feel like I'll never escape."

"Not with that attitude you won't." Frederick chuckled.

"Well, how did you do it?" Thomas replied, putting down the rag and concentrating his attention towards the pirate.

"Oof…" Frederick inhaled, pulling the air through his teeth sharply. "I can tell you, but you aren't going to like it."

"Please…" Thomas replied. "I'm desperate. I need... something."

"Believe it or not, I understand…" Frederick said, lighting a hand rolled cigarette. "You actually remind me a lot of myself…"

Thomas smiled, feeling his face flush.

"... I used to be stuck. Working dead end jobs, always wanting adventure, never seeming to find it. I was like a hamster on a wheel."

"Exactly!" Thomas interjected. "So, how did you become the most notorious Space Pirate of all time?"

"Well, that's the thing, I didn't really do anything..." Frederick responded. "Except set my intention."

"You see," Frederick continued. "There are two types of people. Those who create opportunity, and those who seize opportunity when it is presented to them. I am the latter… That guy over there is the former."

Frederick pointed towards an unassuming man sitting at a table. He was short, bald and wearing coke bottle glasses, but despite his appearance seemed to have no trouble attracting the few women who happened to be in the bar.

"That is Montgomery." Frederick said, turning back to Thomas. "Let me tell you about him. That guy spent his entire life working his way up the corporate ladder. By 25 he was a millionaire, by 35 he had so much money that he could do anything he wanted, and that is exactly what he did."

"As a kid, Montgomery was fascinated by stories of pirates and adventure. As an adult, he became determined to make it a reality, but he didn't want to be the face. He's shy."

"That's when he met me." Frederick smiled. "He handed me a briefcase, filled with $20,000 worth of crisp, clean $100 bills and next thing I knew, I was Frederick Redson: Space Pirate Extraordinaire."

"That's it?" Thomas asked.

"That's it."

"Why did he choose you?"

"He never told me, but my assumption is because I look somewhat like a pirate." Frederick shrugged and finished his beer.

"So, you are telling me that the secret of your success… is luck." Thomas groaned.

"That wasn't my point at all." Frederick laughed as he raised his hand to get Montgomery's attention, who nodded and made his way to the bar.

"It wasn't luck." Frederick tapped the pocket holding his notebook. "It was that we wrote down our desires and focused on them. We had different methods, but the magic of our intention brought us together."

"That's great for you…" Thomas replied. "But I don't see how that helps me."

"You know…" The pirate said as he stood up. "You do remind me of myself… but I think there is a difference between us."

"What is that?" Thomas asked.

"… I think I would have asked to join the crew by now."

"I didn't realize that was an option." Thomas said with wide eyes.

"You'll never know unless you ask."

"Can I join your crew?" The words flew out of Thomas's mouth.

"I think you would fit in well, but we are leaving, so if you are coming, you have to come now."

Within seconds, Thomas's apron was on the floor and his bag on his shoulder.

"I'm ready." He said with enthusiasm.

"Good…" Frederick nodded and turned to Montgomery. "This is Thomas. He will be joining the crew. I think he might have some questions for you."

Montgomery remained silent, merely nodding to indicate his understanding.

"Looks like we are set…" Frederick said, then turning to the bar patrons, loudly proclaimed. "All right, everybody! Tonight's your lucky night! Drinks are free, just clean up after yourself when you are done."

There was a loud cheer as Frederick reached into his pocket and put a handful of coins on the counter, then turning to Thomas asked,

"Are you ready?"

Thomas nodded then smiled, hardly believing that after all these years adventure was here at last.