Lock & Key

“Hey, would you have some time to talk?”

Carlos looks up from his screen. Anthony is standing on the other side of the door, leaning against the wall and nervously biting his thumb nail. This is the first time the couple have spoken in over a week. A week of gifts and flowers and letters and space and knocking and an empty bed.

“Of course, come here,” Carlos waves him over, moving to his side of the bed. Anthony doesn’t hesitate, walking over and climbing into the bed as the other man sits up and fluffs his pillow. They both settle in, Carlos reaching over to take Anthony’s hand and laces their fingers together. The two take a minute just to be together, memorizing each other in the silence. Things had been so turbulent between them the last few weeks, it was nice to just lie in their bed and be. Carlos notices one of his peace offerings, a heart-shaped locket adorned with delicate metal flowers, resting in the hollow of Anthony’s collar bone. It matches the set of earrings he’d given Anthony to propose, a pair of keys that could unlock the choker necklace Carlos wore around his neck. The one he’d never taken off since locking it on. Carlos raises his other hand and uses the pad of his thumb to smooth the crease etched into Anthony’s forehead. Some of the worry leaves Anthony’s eyes as he nuzzles his cheek into his husband’s hand. And Carlos is sure he’s never been more in love.

“I think Gemma might be suicidal,” Anthony sighed.

Well, fuck. That, he was not expecting.

“Yesterday I talked her out of just giving away her entire closet. She just kept yelling ‘What the fuck is it for?’” Anthony scrunches his eyes closed, lip quivering.

Carlos schools his features to keep from accidentally rolling his eyes. He’d had enough of listening to Gemma’s bullshit to last an entire Senate race. She and Lars were incapable of seeing how fucking selfish they were being. Anthony lifts his lashes to look Carlos in the face, waiting for a response.

“Well, that’s a serious accusation. Do you think we should call M.M.?” Carlos asks, trying to inject some concern into his tone.

“What the fuck? I’m not accusing her,” Anthony pulls back like he’s been splashed by scalding water. I’m scared for her. I’m telling you that I’m worried my sister might hurt herself and your first instinct is seriously to call the Mind Melters?!”

“Would you—okay. That’s not what they’re called, first of all. And second, if you’re worried she’s going to hurt herself, then she needs intervention—"

“She’s had enough intervention, fucking hell Carlos. What she needs is her kid—”

“I’m not having this conversation,” Carlos cuts him off, throwing the covers aside to get out of the bed. His legs get tangled in the sheets, thwarting his escape. “Ugh, fuck! We don’t need more than one fucking sheet!” he growls. Soon as he’s free, he storms out of the room.

“Sounds like a plan!” Anthony yelled, charging down the hall after his husband.

“I’ll just wait to bring it up in another week, when I figure that my husband—you know, the person who’s supposed to be there for me when the fucking sky comes falling down—is ready to put his ego aside and talk about this like adults!”

Carlos whips around, getting right in Anthony’s face. “Don’t you put that on me. I have been trying to reach out for the past week, while you’ve been ignoring me like a child.”

Carlos turns back around, stomping towards the kitchen. He catches Anthony’s silhouette in his periphery as he opens the fridge, but chooses to focus on his hunt for the yogurt. Finding it, he steps back to close the fridge door just as a vase of roses comes hurtling towards his head.

“Shit!” Carlos ducks, narrowly missing the projectile that shatters behind him.

He stands slowly to see Anthony practically vibrating with rage across the room, eyes wild and unfocused. “Reach out?! Are you joking?! Little trinkets and a few flowery words to placate me?!”

Carlos is frozen in shock. This has never happened before, Anthony doesn’t lose control like this. Please, don’t let this be a symptom, not now. Not when we’re this close to solving it. He puts down the yogurt to hold his hands up in front of him, almost like he’s confronting a wild animal. “Okay, okay, let’s take a breath. Let’s talk about this, okay?”

Tears are streaming down Anthony’s cheeks, his chest wracked with broken sobs. He takes a deep, steadying breath and closes the distance between them. “I need you to be my partner, right now. Please Carlos, he’s my nephew, you have to help him. I can’t do this with you, I can’t feel alone right now,” he chokes out.

Carlos lifts his hands to Anthony’s face, wiping away the tear tracks. “I’m here, right here. You’re not alone, I’m not going anywhere.”

They stand there for a while, but it’s not like before in the bed, gazing at a lover. This felt like gauging an opponent.

“Now, you need to know that Grayson is in the finest care. They’ll only do a few routine medical evaluations. And the rest of the time he’s living his life much the same as he would with his parents.” Carlos channels as much soothing energy to his words as he can.

“I am telling you, his parents don’t give a fuck because he’s not with his parents. Gemma and Lars deserve to see him, be with him. You’re acting like they sent him away to camp!”

Carlos’s body visibly sags with the effort his patience demands. “Any contact threatens the authenticity of the results. Baby, please, remember what this is all for. If we can save even half the population that’s survived, it will be worth it.” He keeps Anthony’s eye line level with his own, silently praying for a spark of understanding. And then he sees it.

Anthony leans forward to kiss Carlos, smiling against his lips. Carlos steps into him, intensifying the kiss to pour out his relief. He can salt of the other man’s tears. Maybe this would heal them, then.

Anthony breaks the kiss and steps back, out of reach. “You’re a brilliant man. And I’ve always been happy to give whatever I could to help you realize this goal. This dream.” He turns his back to Carlos. “But I can’t give you Gemma’s son.”

They stand there like that, for a while. And Carlos feels the ground go out from under him. His body lurches forward, pulled to Anthony by gravity. This man is his sun, the center of his universe. It’s all for him.

“No, baby, listen to me. We’re so close—”

“I can’t listen anymore. I can’t convince myself this is worth it. Gemma’s going after Grayson, and I’m going with her.”

No. No, fuck no.

Carlos grabs Anthony by the shoulders and shakes him violently.

“Are you fucking crazy?!” he shrieks. There’s uncut panic plain on his face, his fingers pressing so deeply into Anthony’s arms they’re sure to dent the bone.

“Let me fucking go.”

“—how good you have it? You stupid little shit, you’ve never been out there, you don’t know what it’s like! Those people, they’ll kill anything that moves. Then it’s a coin toss if they eat it or fuck it! If you expose yourself to their environment it could speed up the process! You can’t leave—”

“Call the M.M., then, if you want to stop me.”

Carlos flinched like he’d been slapped, but his hands held Anthony firmly in place. “I wouldn’t…baby, you know I wouldn’t. But you—you have to stay…”

“Then help me stay!” Anthony yells back. “They’ll find another way—”

“Grayson’s is the only stable genetic sequence we’ve seen! This is our only chance!—”

“And how the fuck do you think they plan to get that? Ask him nicely?”

“I’m sorry, I should’ve told you they were taking him, but going out there won’t accomplish anything more than getting yourself killed.”

“Gemma found a travel agent. Someone that can take us straight to the New York Center—”

“There are no cities in between here and New York. That’s at least a three day trip, so what happens if something goes wrong?” Carlos can’t get control of his hysteria.

“I’m not letting Gemma go alone.”

“Anthony, we’re fucking next! If we can’t cure this, how long do you think we’re safe from the rest of the world? This place doesn’t run with infinite resources! You can’t leave!”

Why couldn’t he understand? Grayson was the first child to show signs of stable aging, hitting all the milestones humans were measured by only decades ago. Mentally and physically, he was a completely average child, the only case they’d seen for twenty years.

Before Amazon Industries had cracked the genetic code for aging. They’d been sure of it.

Before people could Resequence their genes to practically achieve immortality. Before they discovered that, while people stayed young in appearance, they’re organs were turning to dust and shit inside of them, and at four times faster than normal. Even their minds.

Before the world’s leaders decided to unleash nuclear holocaust out of disease, madness, panic, or spite. Before they discovered that the people who had fucked with their genetic code couldn’t have children. They could give birth—just not to a baby. There was no word for what those things were.

Before Carlos had joined a humanitarian relief effort to get as many functioning humans to the cities still left standing. Before he saw Anthony playing theme songs from old sitcoms on his guitar to entertain displaced children.

Before he learned that Anthony is ticklish behind his knee, and that he hates olives, and that he’s obsessed with The Muppets. Before their first fight, their first kiss, or the first time Carlos realized he wanted to spend the rest of his life with this man.

Before he learned that Anthony and his sister had opted for Resequencing.

And here they are now.

Couldn’t he understand?

Anthony looks at him with utter defeat in his eyes. “Why does it matter that I’m safe here, if I lose Gemma? If we lose Grayson? This is my family we’re talking about Carlos.”

“YOU ARE MY FUCKING FAMILY!” Carlos wails. All the energy he had leaves him with those words. His knees give out and he sinks to the floor. But he doesn’t fall.

Anthony holds Carlos close and gently lowers them both down. Carlos clings to Anthony and sobs into the crook of his neck.

‘You’re my family,” Anthony whispers, stroking his hair and rubbing circles into his back. Eventually he moves to stand, Carlos in his arms, and walks back to the bedroom. He gently places his love down on the bed, then lies down next to him and pulls the covers over them both. They cling to each other in the darkness like a life raft, waiting for what will come to drown them.

When Carlos wakes up the next morning, he can feel he’s alone in the bed before he opens his eyes.

So, what’s the point? he thinks. He tracks the time passing by the angle of the sun, where he feels the heat coming from, the color behind his eyelids changing with the light. He only opens his eyes when he knows there will only be darkness. When his eyes adjust, he sees is the empty space next to him. And on the pillow is a single earring next to him, in the shape of a key.