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Hypotheses I Have Known

by Everyday Junglist about a month ago in satire · updated about a month ago
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The Hypotheses Hypothesis

At the intersection of testable ideas and my awareness of them lies hypotheses I have known

Hypothesis generation and testing puts the method in the scientific method. Without hypotheses we cannot do science or use the scientific method. While one cannot do science without hypothesizing, one can hypothesize without doing science until the cows come home. Witness the contents of this very article for a collection of examples.

H1: The Hypotheses Hypothesis

The number of humorous but still intelligent and thought provoking hypotheses posited by this author will always be at least an order of magnitude greater than the number of people that find them to be humorous or intelligent or thought provoking.

H2: The Immortality Hypothesis

The hypothesis is expressed as an equation (shown below) and attempts to show the relationship between any given persons desire for immortality and their general terribleness as a person. Pt is the overall terribleness of a particular person. It is a function of one’s desire for a life of length n, from normal lifespan to immortality (72 to ∞), multiplied by the intensity of one’s desire for that particular lifespan (Id), times the closeness of one’s job/life to silicon valley/tech sector squared. As Id and T increase the terribleness of the person increases until a maximum terribleness value is reached (Ptmax) also know as the Oreilly/Murdoch boundary. Since T is squared* the distance from silicon valley/tech sector value drives Pt in an exponential fashion.

The Immortality hypothesis equation

H3: The Opinion Hypothesis

The opinion hypothesis describes the correlation between the strength of one’s belief in the correctness of their opinions (Ob) and their actual correctness (Oc). It can be described by the equation shown below. F is the Freud factor which is variable. It can be summed up as the size of one’s ego. The relationship is inverse. As Ob increases the correctness value (Oc) decreases. The value of F will alter the shape/slope of the curve. At Fmax strong opinions (high or max Ob) are virtually certain to be incorrect

The Opinion Hypothesis Equation

H4: The (Machine) Intelligence Hypothesis

The hypothesis is expressed as an 3-dimensional plot (shown below). It shows the relationship between man’s intelligence with belief in machine’s intelligence (y, z axes – blue dashed line) and with machine’s actual intelligence (x, z axes – purple dashed line). It is easy to see from the plot that the relationship is inverse for man’s intelligence and belief in machine’s intelligence (as man’s intelligence decreases belief in machine’s intelligence increases) and constant for man’s intelligence and machine’s actual intelligence (irrespective of man’s intelligence, machine’s actual intelligence remains the same – zero or not intelligent).

At the reality correspondence point (convergence of x, y, and z axes) the actual fact of the matter (reality) that machine’s are not intelligent is accepted as true by persons of average actual intelligence.

H5: The Ethical Dilemma Hypothesis

For morally difficult choices, the moral character (MC) required to make the right (ethically correct) choice is inversely proportional to the perceived risk (pR) associated with making the wrong (ethically incorrect) choice


MC = 1/pR

H6: The 600 Word Count Minimum Hypothesis

This hypothesis attempts to show the correlation between the quality of any given story and its closeness to reaching or exceeding six hundred words. As you can see from the absence of any data plot below no such relationship was found in any of the data sets examined. For all intents and purposes the six hundred word count minimum for any given story to be published on Vocal.media appears to be complete bullshit. Crap that is only five hundred and ninety seven words. Nice. There it is..600!...Nice!


About the author

Everyday Junglist

Practicing mage of the natural sciences (Ph.D. micro/molecular biology), Thought middle manager, Everyday Junglist, Selecta (Ret.), Boulderer, Cat lover, No tie shoelace user, Humorist, Argan oil aficionado.

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