Alone

The smell of smoke and fire reminded me where I was. Shaking my head to clear it of delusions of happiness, I looked around. It won’t do to reminisce on better times. I had to find food. I crawled out from underneath my makeshift shelter, that in reality was just a half-burned building. My hands flew to my neck to make sure the locket was still there. I sighed in relief when my hands brushed against the cool metal. The only thing that remained of my family was this heart-shaped locket. I still wasn’t entirely sure what was in it, I hadn’t opened it yet. I couldn’t bring myself to.

The fires seemed to never stop burning, an eternal reminder of the hell I had been thrown into. I remembered how it had happened so vividly. It replayed every time I closed my eyes. Taking a deep breath, I steadied myself and forced myself not to cry. I took a careful step forward, towards the only building I could find that was still standing. Fortunately for me, it happened to be a grocery store.

The tinkle of the bell as I opened the door made me smile. It reminded me of a time before this. A time filled with laughter, and tears, and… people. I missed people. There were people here, but they were dead. The first time I saw them I wanted to throw up. I wished so badly for a person to talk to, but alas, I am still alone. Alone, wandering this desolate land.

I bit my lip. I can’t keep doing this to myself. I needed to forget. I walked towards the shelves, almost barren of food. I grabbed what I could hold and brought it back to my shelter. You never know when the next building will collapse. I didn’t want to take it all, just in case my shelter gets destroyed again.

The wastelands I had been tossed into were burning hot. My feet burned even through the old shoes I had found. I tried to maneuver my way through the rotting bodies that littered the streets. The stench alone was enough to make me consider giving up on it all. I kept walking, trying not to look at any of the disfigured bodies on the ground. This was proving quite difficult as I knew many of these people.

I dragged my feet along the ground, my eyes drooping in the tiring heat. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement. Thinking it was the wind I kept walking. I heard a voice, yelling. I brought my hands to my ears to block the noise, it wasn’t the first time I had hallucinated things. When the noise persisted I turned around sharply. A person was standing there, waving their hand and yelling.

I rubbed my eyes to ensure I wasn’t imagining things again. The person walked closer to me, slowly and carefully to avoid the burning wood and metal around us. I snapped out of my original shock and started to creep towards them. I held my hand out once we were close enough to touch. I gasped as their hand didn’t immediately go through mine, their eyes traveling upwards to meet mine.

Their eyes were a striking green, a welcome contrast to the burning red that had been my life for the past many weeks. They broke out into a grin I couldn’t help but return. We laughed at the absurdity of the situation until we began crying. By this point we were sitting on the ground embracing, just trying to take in the fact that we weren’t alone anymore. I could barely stop myself from touching their auburn hair, which was somehow still soft despite being extremely matted. Just thinking about the colour of their hair was enough to make my exhausted body want to laugh again.

We sat there, crying into each other’s chest, my brain short-circuiting at the idea that this was real. I couldn’t stop thinking about the many times I had thought about being alone, truly alone on the planet. And now I wasn’t. What more could I ask for?

“Ar-are you real?” I whispered as I tried to calm myself.

“Are you?” They whispered back. Just the sound of another human’s voice was enough to make me start to cry again.

“I can’t- I can’t believe it, I thought I was alone. I- I thought there was no one else” My voice broke as I spoke.

“Me too”. They reached up to put a hand on my shoulder. In response, I pulled them into a tight hug. They squeezed back and we sat like that, for ages. I don’t know how long. I just know that it felt like the best thing in the entire world at that very moment, and it probably was.

A few more tears spilled from my eyes as we pulled apart. I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face and neither could they. Even if the world was destroyed again, right then, nothing would’ve stopped me from being so happy. They were gripping my arms so tightly I thought they were going to rip them off. I must’ve been doing the same thing as when we stopped they had bruises on their elbows.

Covered in sweat and dripping in exhaustion, we made our way back to my shelter. We were too worn out to say anything but that was fine for us. We were just so happy we weren’t alone anymore.

“Here we are” I exclaimed as we walked up to my make-shift shelter.

“Whoa, this is much better than my own. Thank you.” Their eyes shone in a way that reminded me of my little sister. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes just thinking about her.

“No need for thanks, I’m just- I’m so glad that I’m not alone anymore.” More tears threatened to spill as I smiled at them. I quickly swiped my hand across my face, spreading more ash onto my cheeks.

“Damn” I whispered to myself as I was prone to do, after being alone for so long. They just smiled at me knowingly, a sad sort of smile that was still full of reassurance.

We sat outside the shelter as the sky fell into darkness. The stars seemingly shining brighter than they had in forever. The moon, less broken than the night before. The fires kept us warm. The scene was more beautiful than I had even thought possible. I let out a breath of relief and happiness.

A loud bang rang out through the night. Frantically, we jumped up and looked around to determine the source of the sound. I gasped loudly as I turned to look at the sky, heading directly towards us was a huge chunk of the moon. We glanced at each other, knowing what was coming. The end of the world. Again. Only this time we weren’t going to be alone if we awoke.

We hugged each other as tight as we could as the rock collided with the earth. The land beneath us was torn from under our feet. Our hands clasped the others with a sense of pain, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Then it went black.

My eyes were assaulted by a shining light as I blinked them open. The memories hit me like a ton of bricks. I clutched at my chest while I struggled to breathe in air. I examined the ground around me, only to find the stranger I had such a connection with lying, lifeless on the floor. A bloodstain smeared across their head. I crawled over to their body and cried into their chest. I was once again alone.

I picked up my head and forced myself to get up. My neck felt bare and I looked down in horror to find my locket was gone. I screamed in anguish, I had nothing left. I dragged my sore body across the burning road. I reached my shelter and climbed into it, ready for death to swallow me whole. I just couldn’t handle being alone again. I just couldn’t keep going, not anymore. Not alone.