Yoni Beer, Made With The Essence Of A Woman

Yeah, it's exactly what you're thinking. Beer brewed using the vaginal secretions of a woman. Not just any woman, a young beautiful model. It's a selling point; the beer is a connection to a beautiful fantasy woman. I mean, the woman hired to take part in the manufacturing of this product is a Czech model. What betters a drink than to drink from her lips, so to speak.

The company needed a beautiful model to pull this off. You wouldn't fantasize about a frumpy middle-aged woman sitting on a toilet, legs spread, swabbing her private parts to brew you a beer, would you? The founder of the company, Wojtek Mann, had the idea to hire a gynecologist to obtain vaginal samples from models to brew beer. 

To bring his dream to fruition, Mann started an Indiegogo campaign in 2016. While the campaign only secured 1% of its desired funding, a few years later, he did make Yoni beer available.

My visit to the company website shows a few beautiful models whose vaginal essence is captured in a Lager beer. Is captured is the right word?

Yeast?

Digging into the science a bit. The yeast used in beer making is single-cell plant life, which ferments simple sugars into alcohol. So my first thought was that they were collecting yeast, but that turned out to be incorrect. The company is cultivating the vaginal bacteria lactobacillus.

Lactobacillus is considered a friendly bacteria. So friendly it is sold as a pro-biotic and is used to treat digestive issues. In normal beer fermentation, the brewer tries to limit the cultivation of lactobacillus. However, lactobacillus bacteria is used to create sour beers. 

Using lactobacillus is not a new concept in beer-making; In this case, it's where lactobacillus is obtained for the process is. 

Yogurt Anyone?

Lactobacillus fermentation is also used in making yogurt. I mean, the company could expand from sour beers to yogurts and cheeses. Yoni cheese anyone?

Sales Pitch

The company's website is filled with images of the supermodels the company hires. The company sales pitch states; 

"Imagine an extremely sensual image of femininity…"

"The Order of Yoni is a sensual experience in the form of a beer enclosed in a bottle, obtaining its unusual flavor notes through the use of champagne yeast, wheat malts, and exclusive additives in the form of orange peel, coriander and aframonum. The composition is enhanced with the use of lactic acid from vaginal bacteria to bring pleasure to every sip."

Women's Opinion

The few women I mentioned this beer too, had a consensus of "That's Disgusting." This quote, "Anything to turn a man on.", had a few derivatives like "Anything will turn a man on." Some questioned the market viability, "Who (in their right mind) would drink that?" and, "Is it safe?"

Regarding safety, the company stated:

The procedures of isolation and preparation prevent other bacteria and viruses from surviving, providing the final product clean and healthy. In addition, we examine the final product on (the) presence of other viruses and bacteria

Men's Opinion

I'll try it.

Available Since 2018

The "Order of Yoni" is a Warsaw brewery located in Poland.

The Yoni beer has been on sale since 2018 in Europe. I would imagine it is safe to consume. At least I haven't heard of anyone getting sick or catching an STD. The Yoni trademark beer has distributors in Switzerland, Poland, and the Netherlands.

Curiosity

I'm not a beer connoisseur, but I am curious as to what this beer tastes like. I was disappointed to discover it doesn't seem to be available in the United States for purchase. I will try to import a few bottles in the US for myself and a few friends.

Reviews  

The one reviewer I found online said the beer's taste was nothing special. Sorry, Pauline. In Europe, the cost is about 5 pounds sterling or USD 7.00 per bottle. This $7 price doesn't include US import tax or shipping cost into the United States, which could considerably drive the price.

Microbrewery and Craft Beers

Why import when it would be cheaper for you and your consumer to manufacturer in the US. There are over 2000 microbreweries in the US. I can easily imagine one of these microbreweries partnering with the "Order of Yoni" to produce a sour beer in the United States.

Historically

This is not the first drink to use genital secretions. A New Zealand pub sells beer laced with deer semen. In 2011 this same pub sold Apple shots laced with horse semen that was "reportedly" popular with their female clientele.

I can't help but think of the semen collection process. I mean, who's going out to the stalls with a collection cup and doing what, exactly? Okay, I'm going to stop writing here.