Why Gay Men Lust Straight Guys

by Edward Anderson 2 years ago in fetishes

Gay men have a tendency to chase after straight guys, but why?

Why Gay Men Lust Straight Guys
Photo by Derek Owens on Unsplash

Can we take a moment and just look at the hotties in the picture? For the purposes of this article, we are going to pretend one is straight and one is gay. Either way, they are beautiful men and just yummy. Some things are unfolding for me, and it made me start thinking about the relationship between straight and gay men. Usually, the gay guy is trying to suck (or more) the straight guy's cock. Let's be honest about that. But it made me question why. Why do gay men have such an affinity for men who like women?


Let's start with the obvious answer here. Many straight dudes are very masculine; some are toxic in their masculinity. There is something very sexy about a man who can go hunting, and then come back and ravish you without missing a beat. Before I get yelled at on Facebook, yes there are a lot of masculine gay men. Without question but even they are trying to get the straight guys.


In the original run of Will and Grace, Jack tells Will that men like to do the chasing. After pointing out that he was in a two-man relationship, Jack exited (I tried to find the quote to use but couldn't! Grr!) That bit of comedy, funny as it might be, also sheds light on the psyche of gay men. Maybe they believe that they have no chance with the hetero man that they are pursuing but it's worth it, if for nothing else than the fun of it all. Even if you fail, there is a great story to tell people, and no one looks at you as a loser. Because, well the guy is straight and you didn't stand a chance anyway. If you succeed (as I have many times), then you get bragging rights about nabbing a straight guy.


This has happened more times than I can count in my life. A guy will identify as straight, and we end up in bed together. It's to the point now that my friends jokingly ask if the guy is straight or gay, when I like someone. The answer is almost never gay... at first. I had a fuck buddy for the better part of 8 years, who identified as straight in public and begged to be my boyfriend in bed. Then there's Mr. Man, the current crush. He also identifies as straight but finds ways to make sure we are alone. Then there was his best friend, who messaged me and encouraged me to chase after him. Yes, some men who identify as straight are the pursuers! Obviously, these men are not straight, but it is not our job to tell people how to determine their sexuality. I'm a sex writer, not a sex therapist.


Let's be real here, straight guys (well most men) love to have their dicks sucked. Most males also want anal sex. There have only been a few guys that have told me that they would never try anal, and I cannot recall any man who has said that he doesn't like to have his dick hoovered. Are they out there? I'm sure, but I haven't met them. If a gay man is pursuing a straight guy, there is an excellent chance that he will give up his ass to his object of lust. It would be a rare occasion (I think) that the gay man wouldn't offer anal. Again, it's just not something that I've experienced.

These are just some of the reasons that straight guys can be hot and intriguing for a gay man. Some straight men are receptive to the idea of another bro going down on him or maybe he's the one who's pursuing. In either case, the strange relationship between gay and straight men is one that can be unpacked for many years to come.

Edward Anderson
Edward Anderson
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Edward Anderson
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