Why Are Some Men so Afraid of Sex on Periods?
And how can we alleviate their fear?
We live in a time where women are particularly open about their periods, either through an abject desire to make the world listen, or just because they’re so used to them that it doesn’t cross their minds to be discreet. So, why, if this is the case, are so many men so afraid of one of the most natural occurrences when it comes to the female body?
It starts off with dads, boyfriends, and brothers being freaked out by the mention of tampons and sanitary towels and as life progresses, it starts to be about avoiding sex when a girl is on her period, sometimes even completely wanting erase the idea that a uterus crumbles violently once a month from the mind entirely… This is unfortunate for women, really.
It’s a well known fact that women on their periods often feel more intense sexual desires than they would when they’re not half-way through having their baby maker lining ripped out of them by invisible clawed beasts.
As of yet, scientists haven’t embarked on experiments to discover why this is, but there are a lot of theories out there. Personally, my favourite theory is that a lot of women whilst menstruating experience intense amounts of pain and discomfort, and one of the human biological systems ways of dealing with pain is to experience an intense orgasm.
The release of hormones during this process acts as essentially what we would call an anaesthetic for a short period (pun intended) of time. Naturally, a woman’s body whilst menstruating will do anything to feel better, and having sex is one of the best ways to do that. You’d think given how horny men are 90+ percent of the time (statistic not accurate, although tell me I’m wrong), they’d be eager to jump at the chance to dip the wick, but it turns out this isn’t actually the case. Of course, a lot of women feel uncomfortable about it too, but that’s kind of okay, considering there are only really two ways to deal with the fat, ugly, bridge troll feeling a woman gets when shark week is going on in her pants.
The first way, of course, is to bundle on as many layers as possible, refuse to leave your desolate pit of a chocolate filled, rom-com fuelled pity-fest party room until you don’t look like one of Davy Jones’ face tentacles, and the second is to get naked and let a man (or woman) make you feel like a goddess, even though you know that you kind of look like the blown up version of Pete Burns’ lips, post filler infection.
Given that this is the case, it’s kind of a massive shame that some men are too afraid to wow their woman through fear of a little blood getting on a condom when so many women have to put up with the surprise spout of jizz hitting them square in the eyeball every time their man gets a little overexcited during a blowjob.
That being said, let's think about the logic behind this irrational fear and what can be done to help the poor women who lose out on great sex for a week out of each month.
Bill and Ben are best friends, and also men of flowerpots, so I’ve heard.
Bill is of the school of thought that sex while his "little slut" is on her period is absolutely fine. This is mainly because Bill and the little slut are going at it like rabbits on the regular. It’s disgusting really; they should get a room, the kinky mother truckers. Bill's absence of fear, however, is also because he’s had the balls to try it. Bill is clearly not too grossed out by the idea, because if he’s burying the one eyed worm, he’s usually got a slightly orgasmic looking smile on his face. Bill can attest to the fact that the vagina is tighter when a woman has the painters in, so to speak, and also that the old Vajine is also a lot wetter during this time too...if that’s even possible with the way Bill gets things done.
Ben is scared of vaginas. Really, this is the only explanation for his fear of having sex with a woman while she’s riding the cotton pony. Ben is too much of a pussy to put his toad in the hole when there’s a little blood involved. Ben would even willingly lose a bet in order to not have to even have to think about such things as red willies and learning how best to clean up the scene of a crime. From the sounds of things, one of his biggest fears when it comes to a bit of splish and splash while his bird is on the blob is the smell. Clearly he has never stuck a tampon up his nose.
So, what can Ben do to conquer his fear? Firstly, he can man up… Secondly, he can only give it a go, because after all, you can’t dislike something you’ve never tried.
So, thanks to Bill and Ben, we have discovered the ultimate cure for the phobia of period sex; just do it anyway. It’s like Dr Pepper once said, “What’s the worst that can happen?”
Thanks for reading.