Can you ever have too much sex in a relationship? I am two years into a relationship that remains strong to this day and am very happy with what happens. And if my girlfriend reads this, very, very happy. After the initial few months the frequency of the sex sessions decreased a bit but not by much. I don’t know if this is normal and I don’t think it was a conscious decision, but it just happened.
Our sex life remains happy and healthy, maybe because we have learned what works for each other and what doesn’t. We try new positions, try some quick sessions, and some longer ones. We try and keep some variety so that nothing becomes predictable or too familiar.
When there’s an obstacle of tiredness, or one is more keen than the other for whatever reason, then we can adapt. Masturbation for the other is a way of keeping the intimacy going while not going the whole way. This is also useful if one party can’t get to a climax through the sex or needs a helping hand along the way. Again, we know what we can do do help each other to get where we want to be.
Of course, as we learn what works for each other we have learnt what one likes and the other doesn’t. Talking dirty, for example, does nothing for me and in fact puts me off more then it helps. It can happen by special request, but I find it far easier to write then to say. Equally, there are things I like that she doesn’t, but we have learned to compromise for each other’s benefit.
I like her to shave for example, she doesn’t like the itching as hair regrows so this happens rarely. I like her to perform oral sex on me, but she won’t let me finish in her mouth, so we compromise and she performs the fellatio til I reach the end then aim elsewhere. Though I did get a nice birthday treat as I asked nicely.
While we have different previous lives and different experience with different people we have worked out what we do best and blend it with what works best. As I am quite a bit older, I have learned a few tricks that she hasn’t experienced before. I think longer foreplay is relatively new to her and the extended preparation is therefore new. I have learned to get her going with a simple lick or nibble in the right place, the right finger stroke or just the right touch. Even get her close to explosion without touching any of the usual areas.
Once the usual areas become avoidable, things can get more exciting, especially long-term oral sex for her. 20 minutes can be a good time, if allowed to get that far and go that long. Sometimes the excitement is to high and we move to full sex. Over our time together we have tried many positions in a few locations and again have worked out what does and does not work. Comfort, flexibility, feeling and effort are all included in calculations. Also bit height difference is included. Its hard to enjoy the sex if your performing a balancing act or stretching muscles you forgot you had to make things work.
The biggest trick is to try and climax together, something else that we are improving as I know the signs when she’s close, I try and get the timing right. Although if I try and wait too long she’s gotten there before me.
So, in summary, the amount of sex is right if your both happy and both are satisfied by the outcomes. Learning, experimenting and comprising is the way to keep both sides happy and wanting more.