The Warehouse Diaries

Days, then weeks go by as she tries to stay away from the warehouse. Her feelings of confusion have gotten the best of her. Maybe she needs a break or maybe she has already made up her mind to just not go back. She tells herself that she does not need to go back. She doesn’t need her shadow man. Yet the thought of knowing who he is haunts her. So much so that she believes maybe she needs to go confront him. If this is the man she believes him to be, it will be difficult. She knew him a long time ago. Things went horribly wrong. She blamed herself. She could never look him in the eyes to say how sorry she was. She DOES remember his touch from their encounters before and she DOES remember her feelings back then but that was then and this is now. She believes he hides in the shadows for many of his own reasons. Reasons she may never fully understand. Fear of the unknown can be a powerful thing. He has been in the shadows literally for so long. She thinks he doesn’t know how to come out into the light. She thinks he fears rejection but he doesn’t know that she fears the same. There is a void between them. They get close but never quite close enough to satisfy each other's soul.

She thinks about their first encounter in the warehouse. His touch was so soft, so intimate, so loyal and so true. Yes it’s true, although she wanted mad, wild sex with him that night, it was more than that. More than touching and licking, kissing and possibly fucking. It was a soul thing. It was the tenderness in the touch. It was the deep rooted feeling behind it all. It was a total surrender of mind, body and soul to another person. It was being touched beyond the flesh. She longs for that type of touch, not the one that touches her body but the one that touches her soul. Sure she likes her orgasms but believes there would be something absolutely magical about a soulgasm. She gets closer to the warehouse and is getting nervous. She takes a deep breath and sneaks in.

She always goes at night. Probably because she adores the night. It’s even better when it rains. She walks in and announces her presence. She thinks he already knows that anyway. She is unsure how to proceed. One part of her wants to just be bold and forward and speak her mind, but another part screams to be understanding and gentle as he may be slightly fragile. Her heart races and her hands tremble. She begins to walk. As she continues through the darkness she now feels the eyes upon her. She stops and turns quickly to see the shadow behind her. Not clear or focused. Just an outline, which is better than not seeing him at all. The size of his shadow tells her it is who she suspected. It almost takes her breath away. She wants to run to him but hesitates. She wants to wrap her arms around him and just hold him. He doesn’t move towards her. They stand silent about 12 feet apart. No words, no sounds.

The conversation begins:

“I don’t know what to say.” she says to him

“I know.” he responds, taking a step towards her.

She tells him, “I’m sorry things went so wrong between us.”

He takes another step and answers, “I’m not.”

He continues, “The act of totally falling apart is what strengthens us. It makes us kinder to each other. Makes us understand each other. Brings us to a place that is more meaningful now.”

She thinks on that and it makes sense. She asks,”Why now?”

He says to her while taking yet another step, “Because it is now time to heal, to right the wrongs and begin better.”

He is now within her reach. “But why tease?” she questions

“I needed to see if you would return. If the desire not only for the touch but of the heart, would wait and return. How important was it for you? I needed you to miss not only the touch but me also.”

She replies,”But it felt more like a punishment.”

He says, “Now you know how I felt in the shadows for so long. A punishment...no, a lesson...yes.”

She reaches for his hand, no response. She tells him,”My life is complicated.”

He looks lovingly at her and says,”I know, everyone's life is complicated but we can work around complications.”

He takes her hand. She is so scared. He pulls her close and whispers,”We will find a way.”

Suddenly a sensation comes over her, she feels his heartbeat matching every beat with hers. A soul connection. He looks down at her and slowly kisses her lips. Softly, gently but fully. It becomes apparent that he is under her skin and she his. He whispers,”I want you, all of you, every way, every day.”

She simply says,”I know but not now. It is more than that now and we need to journey further to get to that point. Please understand.”

He is just happy to hold her and she him.

She knows she will come back and keep coming back. To him and the warehouse. Until one day she will not. At that time neither will return because there will be no need to hide in the shadows. Until then secrets need to be kept and feelings semi hidden away. It really is for the best.

To be concluded in part 5

Love and Peace G.