The Fantasy Is Always Better Than The Reality

"I write erotica," I told one man, Jason, at the bar. A small smile crossed his face. A million thoughts were racing through his head, mostly wondering if I was an easy lay. It was always the same thing with these guys. 

He took a sip of his beer as he processed what I said to him. "So, like you write about the sex you have?"

"Sometimes. There were a few times that my ex blew my mind, and it ended up in a short story," I confessed. Revealing that early on always seemed to ease their minds. Men, no matter their orientation, want to know that someone will appreciate their bedroom prowess. Then, as an added comfort, "people don't want to read about bad sex." 

He shifted in his chair and looked at me, his eyes begging me to say something to comfort his anxiety. The problem was, I couldn't tell what he was worried about. "What about someone who's never been with a man before?" 

It's my first time with a man is one of the oldest gay clichés. Certainly, it's true for some. But the vast majority later admit that they jerked off a buddy or their friend took care of them. 

This was the case with Jason. As we eased into the conversation, "well, I've been with a dude before, in college. He sucked me off and was really nice. But I only let him do it because my girlfriend was there." 

By closing time, he took my hand and asked me to go back to his house with him. 

I agreed.

***

"So, will I end up in one of your stories?" Jason asked as we lay in his bed, cuddling. His heart was still racing, and it seemed like he was ready to go another round. But needed the encouragement that he was a stud and not a dud in bed. 

Pressing my lips against his, I moved to be on top of him. Our tongues intertwined, and his hands explored my back. I pulled away, "why don't we try again? Research is very important in my line of work."

After our second session, we were both convinced that it was some of the best sex we've ever had. Part of me hoped that it could become something more frequent, but I also understood that most guys who identified as straight would only commit to a one-night stand. 

The next morning, Jason surprised me. "You know, I was wondering if we could try dating. I mean, I wouldn't come out or anything, but it's clear I'm attracted to you, and you like me." 

"I do," I agreed. This had 'bad idea' written all over it. But his dick was too good to give up. Plus, he really was a good man. "We can date for a little while under your terms, but if we stay together for a long period of time, we will need to revisit the not coming out bit." 

He pulled me into a kiss, "I am all for that." 

***

"Can we have a threesome?" Jason asked as we ate dinner one night. We were about a month into the relationship and it was going surprisingly smooth. We had hung out with some of his friends and he told them that I was his partner but insisted that he wasn't gay or bi. He said that I was the only man he was attracted to. 

His question wasn't really a shock to me. At some point, most men will ask their partner for one. I'm not opposed to them, I've enjoyed them occasionally. But I was worried about what he had in mind. "What did you have in mind?"

"You know, bring another dude into bed with us. You guys can take turns with me, we can take turns with you," he shrugged. Again, this had 'bad idea' written all over it. So, of course, I jumped at the chance to do it.

Letting things quiet for a bit, I took a drink of my cocktail. "Let's do it. Do we want to find someone on the apps or at the bar?" 

"I have someone in mind," he admitted. Then showed me a picture of a friend of his, one that he hadn't seen in a while but had reached out to him and wanted to reconnect. 

The friend was gorgeous. "Does he know that you want to mess around with him?" 

"He's the one who blew me..." 

That explained a lot. 

His name was Dean. He agreed to mess around with us and was looking forward to it. When I saw the dick pic that he sent to Jason, my worries about it being a bad idea faded away. 

***

On the designated night, Dean showed up at Jason's house wearing basketball shorts and nothing else. He was ready to go. And so were we. Less than five minutes after his arrival, we were all naked and kissing. 

I began giving Jason head, while he and Dean made out. Then I did the same for the other man. On a whim, I took both of their dicks in my mouth at the same time. 

Jason and Dean seemed to enjoy it a lot. They stopped kissing and watched as I bobbed my head up and down on their dicks. 

Things became a blur. Bodies intertwined with one another. We were all slicked with sweat. Exhausted, Dean and Jason cuddled me on the living room floor for a bit. 

After Dean left, there was a noticeable shift in Jason's attitude. He was sullen, when I tried to seduce him, he pushed me away. Confused, "are you not attracted to me anymore?" 

"I am, I think I love you, but the way you fucked Dean made me realize that I can never please you like him. It's like you prefer him to me."

Shocked, I looked at him. "What are you talking about? It was your idea to have a threesome and to have Dean be our third, since you already fooled around with him."

He nodded, "I know. But the way you moaned with him is different from the way I make you moan." 

The conversation led to us ending the relationship. His insecurity was too much for both of us to take. I tried to assure him that he was the object of my affection, but he would not believe me. 

Later, when we talked, Jason said, "I hope you write about me. You're still the one who got away for me." His wife is not pleased that he said this, but she understands why he did. 

"I didn't get away, you didn't want to keep me," I pointed out. "But I am so proud of how far you've come in your journey."