The Breakup

“Listen, there’s something we need to talk about.”

That’s never a good sign. She’s not talking to me though.

No, Kelsey is in the next room talking to Alex. I swear, her nasally voice could cut through lead-lined soundproofing. The thin wall between our rooms, even with Netflix playing on this side, isn’t enough to drown her out.

I never liked her, which is fine because she never liked me either. Alex is happy with her and she him. That’s all that really matters as far as I’m concerned. I can handle a little fake civility when we happen to be in the same room together, which is never for more than a few minutes at a time anyway.

For his sake, I hope the conversation isn’t as bad as that sounded.

For my sake, I hope she’s leaving him. Selfish, I know.

I try not to listen to their conversation, but her voice cuts through the noise in the room. “I think you should move in with me.”

What am I feeling? Sad, sure. I’ll definitely miss not having him around all the time. Nervous, but I’m sure I can handle the place on my own or find another roommate. He deserves to be happy, so I won’t try to stop him from moving out if that’s what he wants.

Alex chuckles. I can picture the flirty grin on his face. “What brought this on?”

“Things are starting to get serious with us. I love you and want to take things to the next level.”

It’s suddenly silent. It was cliche, but sweet in her way. They’re probably making out again. Netflix is pestering me about whether or not I’m still watching. I can hear myself breathing.

“Okay, fine.” She sounds annoyed now. “It’s weird that you live here.”

“You don’t like my apartment?”

“It’s not that.” Her voice suddenly got softer, something I didn’t realize she was capable of. “It’s your roommate. A real man wouldn’t live with a fairy.”

My heart sinks into my stomach. I shouldn’t let something like that bother me, especially from someone I don’t care for, but here we are.

“A real man.” His voice is flat. I can’t tell what he’s thinking.

“Like, do you know how often I have to defend you and tell people you aren’t gay?”

“Well, we can’t have people thinking I’m gay.”

That’s sarcasm, right? He has to mean it sarcastically. I’m suddenly trembling. Vaginas have some sort of strange power to change straight men that I’ll never understand.

“I’ll have everything packed in the morning.”

She squeals, the counterbalance to my anger.

I roll onto my side and wrap my pillow around the back of my head. I don’t want to deal with any of this.

I didn’t dream or really even remember sleeping. I blinked and suddenly light is streaming through my window and someone is knocking on the front door.

I drag myself out of bed, throw on some clothes, and stumble my way into the living room, finding myself face to face with Alex.

“Thank god!” He whisper-shouts, grabbing my arm and dragging me towards the door. “Stand right here. Sorry in advance.”

What is he talking about? It’s too early for any of this. Are my eyes open?

Alex opens the door and there she is. I manage a half smile and a gravelly “Good morning.”

She beams as he goes back to his bedroom. “You look like you’ve had a rough night.” She looked around me to make sure he was out of earshot. “I win, flamer.”

I just clench my teeth and stare at her, but continue doing as I was told— stand here.

Alex walks back around me, a suitcase rolling along behind him.

“That’s all you own?”

Suddenly, Alex’s hand is on my back, our bodies pressed against each other, his tongue in my mouth. After a moment, he pulls away and faces her. “Let’s get one thing clear. That,” he motions at me, the other arm still on my lower back “doesn’t make either of us any less of a ‘real man,’ to use your phrase.”

She seems to be frozen in place, her jaw open and rage building in her eyes.

Alex nudged the suitcase towards her with his foot. “Take your things and get out of our house.”

She picked up the suitcase and opened the door.

“Who’s the winner now, bitch?”

I should have said it, but the door slammed behind her and the opportunity was gone.

I turn back to Alex, the sadness almost physically radiating off him. I pull him into a hug, rubbing the back of his head when he drops it on my shoulder. “Are you sure about this?”

He nods into my shoulder. “She was evil, but she had her good parts, right?”

“Yes.” I’m not sure if I’m lying, but I’ve always trusted his judgment. He has to see something in her that I can’t.

We spent the day on the couch. Movies played on the tv, but we mostly sat in silence. He didn’t want to talk yet and I didn’t expect him to.

I wake him when he finally starts to doze off. “Let’s get you to bed.”

He nods slowly as he stands and drags his feet to his bedroom, slowly closing the door behind him.

I listen from the living room for a moment, just in case he needs anything, before heading to bed myself.

As I settle under my blanket, there’s a gentle tap at my bedroom door before it opens slowly. Soft light from the living room causes just his silhouette to be shown in the frame, but he doesn’t move or speak.

“Come on,” I tell him, pulling the blanket back for him.

He all but jumps into the bed, our legs intertwining, his back to me.

“Wanna know a secret?” I ask him softly.

“You’re worried about poking me in the butt and ruining the mood?”

I gently nudge him. “No. Shorts are more than enough to keep anything from happening.” With my hand on his chest, I pull his upper body back against mine. “I don’t have boobs, so you don’t have to lean forward like that.”

I can feel him relax in my arms as he sighs. I run my fingers down his chest and stomach, feeling pecs, abs, and belly button. I gasp when my pinky grazes a lump that was none of those things. “I’m so sorry!”

He chuckle, the first sign that he was already starting to get over the day. “It’s okay. I know it was an accident.”

I should have realized we were both naked. I continue rubbing, but make sure not to stray too low. I shift my hips away from his, just to be safe. I hope he didn’t notice.