Seperate Lives

I paced back and forth nervously, my hand in my mouth as I bit slightly on my nail.

"Why now? Why now does he want to...."talk", I ask motioning air quotes.

"Maybe it's nothing, maybe it's everything, but you won't know unless you actually talk to him."

Scott.

Just the thought of his name sent tingles down my spine. Scott was my husband of almost six years. We had been divorced for about two years now, and although at one point, there was hope of reconciliation, I had finally settled and accepted the divorce for what it was.

Scott and I were high school sweethearts, our romance was quick, we met midway through senior year, and right after graduation we were married. We thought because we were going to separate colleges, being married would help us remain faithful. Although it was hard with him attending college in Georgia, and I in Texas, we made it work and after graduation, Scott took a job working as a software engineer for a tech company. I transferred to Georgia so we could finally live together while I continued to worked on my Master's degree. After graduating, I was offered a great opportunity in Dallas, partnering with a classmate opening our own counseling firm, my dream. We fought constantly, Scott was adamant about me not taking the job. He wanted me to stay in Georgia and work and start a family. But, I just could not pass up the opportunity. So, I made the decision to follow my dreams, and I packed up my life and moved to Texas and never looked back.

And now, two years later, I am here stressing with my best friend, Mallory, about seeing Scott again, because late last night I received a text from Scott saying, "I'm in town, I would love to see you. I'd like to talk."

Talk? About what? His text was so vague, what could we possibly have to talk about after two years? Was he sick? Was he getting married and wanted to tell me in person? I just couldn't imagine what was so important that he came all the way to Texas to talk to me about. Or did he? Maybe he came for other reasons, and just wanted to catch up. All I know is the thought of seeing Scott, made my body react in ways that had been dormant for a while.

"So you think I should text him back and agree to meet," I asked turning to face Mallory.

Mallory sat on the couched, her long legs pulled to her chest, her large brown eyes stared at me. She tucked a strand of hair that had fallen into her face behind her ear. "I think if you don't, you will always wonder what he would have said. And that, my dear friend, is not something I think you are willing to regret."

She jumped off the couch and grabbed my shoulders, "Bite the bullet, just meet him and see what he has to say. I mean, it's not like you are still wanting to be with him, so what's the harm?" she said matter of factly.

What Mallory did not know, is I was still in love with Scott. I buried all my feelings so that I could pour myself into my work and keep my focus on my clients. I was afraid that seeing Scott would dredge up all those feelings.

"You're right," I said, giving into her, because I knew she wasn't going to let up, "I guess I can at least hear what he has to say."

"So, should I call him, or just send him a text?" I asked. I wanted to hear his voice, but I was so nervous, maybe a text would be better.

"Definitely call him," Mallory stated. Not what I was hoping, but not wanting to let on to my apprehension.

I dialed Scott's number on my cell. Inside I was hoping the voicemail would answer.

"Hello?" No such luck. His voice made me weak in the knees, it was low and deep but so smooth.

"Hi, Scott, it's me, Jade." I hoped he couldn't hear the nervousness in my voice. I tried to sound light and nonchalant.

"I know, I would never forget that voice," he said. I could feel that familiar tingle, just hearing his voice.

"I'm glad you called. I assume you got my text. I wasn't sure if your number was the same."

"Yeah, you got me." So stupid, why did I say that! "I mean, uhh..yeah, my number is the same. I mean obviously you know that now." Oh my gosh, just stop talking! I felt like a school girl with a crush.

He laughed lightly, "Yeah, so, I was in town for a seminar, and thought it would be cool to get together and catch up. Plus I had a few things, I wanted to talk to you about."

"I hope everything is Ok," I said, hoping he would give me a hint as to why he wanted to talk, "but sure, I'd like that. Does tonight work for you?" I really didn't want to put it off any longer, I was curious.

"Tonight is perfect! Let's say 7 tonight. Were would you like to meet?"

" You can come to my place." The minute I said the words, I instantly regretted it. I didn't want him here!

"OK, cool, just text me the address, and I'll see you at 7. Looking forward to seeing you."

"Umm, OK, me too. I'll send it right away. See you later, bye." I hung up quickly. I can't believe I invited him here. I just thought it would be better to have some privacy, but I had to admit, I was a little nervous about being alone with him.

"So? What did he say?" Mallory asked staring at me expectantly. I had forgotten she was there.

"He's coming here, tonight at 7." I shrugged like it was truly not a big deal.

I clicked my phone and sent him my address. I noticed the time, it was a little after four already.

"Shit, it's already four, I better hop in the shower."

"OK, well, I am going to leave you to it! You better call me tomorrow and give me all the details, bitch!" Mallory said as she hugged me.

"Oh, I most certainly will," assuring her. I would definitely be calling her, I didn't know what to expect from this meeting, but I knew she would be able to help me make sense of whatever happens.

"Love you, bitch," she said walking over to the door.

"Love you too," I said as I closed the door behind her and locked it.

Shit, I had less than three hours to get ready. I had no idea what to wear. I didn't want to appear desperate by wearing something to revealing, but I also didn't want to downplay the evening by being too casual.

Should I order food? I didn't know the protocol. I probably should have asked him if he would want food.

My nerves were all over the place. Why was I so nervous, this was Scott, I've known him for years. We've had plenty of talks in the past, hard ones, but so much time has passed, we're both different now.

I sighed out loud, "I knew it had to happen one day. Why not today?" I whispered.

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The time on the clock said, six forty-five. I stood in front of the mirror adding a touch more mascara to my lashes. I stood back to admire myself. Not bad. I settled on a short black skirt, because I knew how much Scott loved my legs. I paired with a forest green off the shoulder top with bell sleeves. I could see the glisten on my brown skin from the bronzer I applied. The green in the top was a perfect choice, as it brought out the brown in my eyes. I applied a touch more nude lip gloss to my full lips and tousled my hair a bit with my hands. The soft black curls fell gingerly on my shoulders nicely. I debated on adding some heels, but because I was at home, I didn't want to appear too eager or like I was trying to hard, even though I was.

I smiled at my reflection and whispered, "You got this, Jade."

I turned off the light, leaving the side lamp on by the bed. I always left the lamp on, as it gave a romantic aura to my bedroom, and if I couldn't have romance, I'd at least create the aura of it.

I did date, but I always found myself comparing men to Scott. Scott, was the only man who I'd ever been with, he knew my body, he knew the intimate places of it and how to please it. I just wasn't ready to teach anyone else.

I walked into the kitchen, I had decided to order food for us. Nothing fancy, since I didn't know if Scott would have eaten already. Just light snacks form a local Dominican restaurant i liked to frequent. I was just about to take out a bottle of wine, when I heard a knock on the door.

I quickly set the tray of snacks and the wine and glasses on the coffe table, took a quick peek in the mirror and then walked over to the door. I stood at the door for a moment. I didn't want to appear to eager and open too quickly, but I didn't want to make him wait like I didn't care either.

"Get out of your head, Jade." I muttered to myself, "I can do this."

I turned the lock and slowly turn the knob and opened the door.

Scott.

There he was. After all this time, he still gave me butterflies. He smiled, a genuine smile, I thought to myself that's a good sign. I could suddenly feel my body responding to the site of him. He stood about six-three to my tall five-eight frame. He was slightly muscled, but not the intimidating muscle you get from body builders or gym rats. He wore simple dark wash jeans, straight leg, and a white button shirt that was untucked. I knew instantly, he had dressed for me. I loved him in white. Scott had the most amazing smooth chocolate skin. And his smile sent shivers throughout my body. In high school, Scott usually wore his hair in a low cut, but now he was completely bald, and I loved it. It suited him. He had just a hint of a beard and mustache, nothing over-powering. Truth was...Scott was fucking hot!

"Well, can I come in?" I heard him ask.

"Oh," I said jumping, not realizing I had just been standing there like an idiot smiling and gawking, "uh, yeah..yes, come in come in, sorry." I said as I opened the door wider and move slightly to allow him to pass.

As he stepped through the door, I could smell his cologne, it was intoxicating. By this point, my mind was racing, I didn't care why he was here or what he needed to talk about, all I knew was, I wanted him.

"Wow, Jade, you look great," oh god, that smooth velvet voice, that familiar tingle had begun to rise within me at the sound of his voice, "come here give me a hug," he said as I closed and locked the door behind him.

I walked over to him. Oh how I longed to feel his strong arms around me again. His hugs were always so mesmerizing, we fit so perfectly together, my body matched him right under the arm, it was once my safe place.

As he pulled me into him for a hug, I could feel the heat of his body, it matched with my own. It had been two years since I had seen this man, felt his breath on my neck, my breasts, my thighs, the folds of my inner woman.

I missed him.

Get it together, Jade.

"Yeah, so umm, you look good to. It looks like life has been treating you well," I said not wanting to leave his embrace, but knowing I had to. "Please, come, have a seat," I said motioning for him to sit on my oversized sectional.

"So how's everything?" he asked while taking a seat in the middle of the couch.

I sat next to him, "Everything has been good. Works good, family is good, they ask about you all the time." Why did I tell him that? I don't want him to think that I've sat around with my family talking about him for the past two years, how desperate is that!

"Oh, really, and what have you told them?"

"Well, there's been nothing to tell, I mean we haven't spoken for two years, so.." I trailed off. "Can I get you some wine? And wasn't sure if you had eaten, so I ordered some appetizers, so help yourself." I felt like I was rambling. I just wanted to change the subject. Damn, why does he make me so nervous?

"Thanks, maybe in a bit, I just really want to get to why I am here."

Oh fuck, he is getting right into it. OK, here we go.

I smiled and waited for him to continue.

"I really hate how things ended between us, Jade. I mean after you left, I was so angry at you, and I filed for divorce without even thinking about it all the way through."

Pause. He leaned forward and cupped his hands together interlocking his fingers. I fought the urge to rub his back, so I sat and waited for him to continue.

"I thought scaring you with a divorce, you would come back to me. But you signed and it felt as though you threw me away."

He turned and looked at me as he said the words, he stared into my eyes as if he was looking for the answer there.

"I thought you were done with me, " I began slowly, "I wanted you to follow me, fight for me...for us. So when the papers came, to me, it meant, you were not going to fight, but just give up on us."

I remembered the day the papers came. It was as if my heart was ripped into a million pieces. Scott was my life for six years, and I wasn't prepared to lose him, but I wasn't prepared to give up my dream either. A part of me thought we would work through it, but when the papers came, I knew it was over in my head, even though my heart had always kept hoping.

Scott suddenly grabbed my hand and turned towards me, "Jade, I never gave up on us. I loved you, fuck, I still love you." I gazed into his brown eyes, and I could tell he was sincere. It was then that I realized, I loved him too. I always have. "I've tried dating," he continued, "but no one has ever came close to you. So when I got the assignment to come here for this seminar, I jumped at the chance. I knew it was fate pushing me back to you."

I could not breathe. This was not what I was expecting. He wanted me back. It took everything in me to contain myself.

"Jade, I came here to ask you, if you would consider trying again with me? I will move here if necessary, I just want to be where you are. I don't just need you in my life, I want you in my life. I am nothing without you, you are it for me. I love you so much."

Was I hearing him right, Scott was saying the most beautiful words to me. Scott was my person, I knew that, I've always known that. I've loved this man for so long, even in his absence.

He was in my thoughts, my dreams, my prayers. I longed for him. I longed for him to touch me, to give me a sign that the passion could be reignited and here it was.

"Yes, Scott, I would love nothing more than to try again with you," I said smiling, tears welling in my eyes. "I love you too, so very mu-," before I could finish, he leaned in an kissed me. My body melted. His lips, so soft, so persistent.

I could feel his hand brush against my thighs, and my breath froze within me as I anticipate his next move.

With one swoop he grabbed my thigh and pulled me onto his lap, our faces so close, I could feel each breath as he exhaled. I was straddling him now with one leg on each side, and I could feel he wanted me.

I was turned on by this swift move and my breath became more rapid.

He reach his hands out to massage my hips, and slowly began to stroke a firm yet sensuous route from my navel up between my breasts, along my throat...very gently; his hands traveled up to cup my face.

He whispered my name with a tone that was not one of awe, but of confirmation, knowing that I was once again, was his and he was once again, mine.

Total eye contact.

My thighs clench into his sides as I looked down at him. He grabbed my face in his hands as he began to kiss me passionately. I kissed back slow, and full, our tongues reflecting all the ways we would later trace one another's bodies.

He lifted me gently, "Where is your bedroom?" He asked between kisses. I held onto him with one arm, while motioning to the direction of my bedroom with the other. He walked swiftly to my bedrrom and over to my bed. He pulled off my shirt and skirt with such tenderness and care. I laid there in my panties and bra. I reached out to pull off his shirt because I wanted so badly to feel his skin on me. I've missed it. He moved from my reach and stood back,

"Oh, god, Jade," he said as he stood and admired me. “You have no idea."

“Yes. I do." I said, knowing deep inside I wanted him just as much.

He then unbuttoned his shirt and let it drop to the floor. He unzipped his jeans and pulled them off.

He stood in his boxer briefs, and I could see his manhood straining to be released from its confines.

My breath got more rapid.

I wanted him.

He stretched out onto the bed, his body just the right amount of muscle and a little bit of chubbiness, I liked it. His skin was so beautiful. He pulled into him, he wanted to hold me, and I wanted to be held by him.

“There's nothing I'd rather be doing right now," he whispered tenderly in my ear brushing my hair out of your face.

I snuggle my butt perfectly into him, I could feel his erection, but he did not move, he was so patient. I reached behind him to pull him into me closer. He moved in as close as he could, and wrapped his arms and legs around me, enveloping me.

“Me either. I can't believe we are finally together like this again.” I could feel his breath on the back of my neck, so I could barely speak the words.

“Believe it," he said tenderly into my ear.

With one arm cuddled securely under and around my breasts, he puts the other hand to my womanhood. He places his warm, hand flat against it and leaves it there. My body instantly began to awaken.

"Oh, Scott." I say as I take a huge breath in.

He allows his hand to rest there, holding onto my warm, moist womanhood as he rocks me back and forth gently, both hands securely rooted in their positions. One anchored up between my breasts and the other held my womanhood in capture by his palm.

He has always known exactly what I need, and he needed to be the one to give it to me. How often did that sort of thing come about? He began to kiss the back of my neck, my ear, he nuzzled his head into mine, and held me tight, as he continued to rock slightly.

I had never felt so secure in my life. I began to feel I could finally relax my limbs, my worries, my insecurities, my fear of abandonment, my resentment for not being taken seriously and held the way I wanted for so many years.

I locked the top of my foot around the back of his calf and rocked with him. My entire body began to buzz. His hand grew hotter on my womanhood. I could feel tears streaming down my face. Slowly, he turned me onto my back.

“Are you okay?" He asked with concern and love in his eyes.

"Yes. I've just missed you so much. I didn't understand fully how much, until tonight." I said through the tears.

"I love you, Jade, and YOU are who I have always loved and desired," he whispered as he kissed me with the love that matched his words.

He kissed my face, my mouth, and he unsnapped my bra freeing the flesh that was straining to be freed. He then moved slowly down to pull off my underwear and then his own, and then simply rested in a hug around my lower stomach for a moment, breathing heat and life into my navel. I smiled even though he didn't see. I caressed the back of his head.

He kissed me on the stomach, and trailed down lower until he arrived at the crest of my woanhood. He kissed my clit, full and sweet. He kissed it again, a kiss not of urgency, but of pure passion. He continued to kiss either side. He softly but persistently kissed every inch of my lips, my clit, my hip creases, my inner thighs. Dry kisses at first and then long, slow, French kisses, until his tongue was loving me like a juicy fruit.

My legs shot out wide, and my breathing became heavier. His manhood grew huge and rock hard in the process of eating my inner woman. He stick his tongue inside me, leaving it there for a moment, and suddenly licked upward. I began to go crazy, pressing my body, my begging cervix, down onto his tongue, into his face. He reached up to grab my breasts and pull me down harder into his mouth, his nose, his face. I ground down and in, and squeezes into him, and moaned low and loud. My moans made him moan out loud too, right into my inner woman, overwhelming it with want. The vibration of his moans made me wetter, more anxious for what was sure to come.

I wanted to take him in my mouth, but he wanted to be inside me more. He pushed my legs open and apart wide and slides effortless into me. We fit so well. We both cried out and landed in a hugging embrace in complete unified ecstasy. As he pushed passionately in and out of my adoring wetness, I pulled him in deeper and held on tighter, we held one another, we looked at one another, we kissed full on the mouth. His hands then reached down to grip my ass, my hips, and pull me even further into him.

It was perfect, we were made for one another.

He held off his climax until I am right at the edge and then we both catapulted at once into glorious climax, into the moment, and into our future, because, this...is what we'd been missing, and we had found it again, he was mine, and I was his...forever.